Whether that was weight loss, muscle gain or what have you. How did it turn out for you, did you just end up getting fat, or continue to eat what you wanted, and started to workout more and actually progress?
36 yo dad here ultimately have realized I wanna just eat what I want and be happy… but I also don’t wanna end up fat lol
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Can’t outrun the fork. Good luck, but you are gonna end up back here in a year asking for advice
If you don’t want to properly diet then you are going to need to put that effort more into working out. You calorie intact needs to be less then what you burn to lose weight. So if you wanna eat like a fatty your are going to have to workout like a body builder.
edit: Me personally, I eat what I want but it’s decently healthy but i live and work on a farm. So my food is always farm/garden grown and im physically active all day and i still go for runs and work out.
I competed in bodybuilding and powerlifting for almost 20 years. I’m over it. I obsessed, lived and breathed it every moment of the day. Everything I did was to further my goals, and truth be told it’s a very, very boring and unhealthy lifestyle.
Now I’m just trying find the balance between eating and training. I actually despise going to the gym now, so I’m really just trying to walk 5-6 miles a day and go hiking on the weekends. I’m happier now doing this, but I’m not happy. I need to find a physical activity.
Cycles, goes back and forth.
I’ll maintain the weight, then lose 4 kilos, gain back 3, then maintain and so on and so forth.
I believe in fasting, and there are periods I just let myself eat and enjoy, and then I go back to fasting.
Been out of exercising for 2.5 months now due to a back problem, it’s almost healed now and will get back to it this week. It’s hard, I’m 40 but I do my best not to let it go, I can’t allow myself being obese, it’s dangerous.
90% in the kitchen BUT you can eat whatever you want. Eating badly is just harder.
Eg
Cereal makes you hungry but if you suffer through that till lunch your good if you keep your calories again to 500 calories or so
> ultimately have realized I wanna just eat what I want and be happy… but I also don’t wanna end up fat
You had to “ultimately realize” that?
I hope you happen to want to eat sensibly and exercise a lot.
Yeah I had a six pack most of my teens, and 20s, was about 210-20, visible abs, 5’10, most of my 20s (no peds)… now 37 I’m like 230, still active train like 4-6 times a week. Actually looking to drop 10-15 just due to joint health, but not physique. Like if my old boy in town and wants to sink 10-15 beers I’m doing that with him, friends having a BBQ I’m eating, gf wants to go out for dinner, hell yeah I wanna take my girl out to eat. Fuck no am I curating my life and diet to have a visible six pack, high protein is easy enough for maintenance, but counting calories fuck that shit.
I seriously question the personality of any one in their 30s, of decent enough fitness and strength who is counting calories and curating their lifestyle to “look” lean, and they aren’t like a fitness model as a well paid profession. What a drag, what a vapid person to be around.
As a father of two, it’s not about being fat anymore. It’s about living a long and healthy life to be around for my children. So I work out my ass off 6 days a week to do it. I also count calories and eat well.
I know its not what you want to heat, but eat what you want, just in moderation.
I started trying in earnest to lose weight earlier this year but, like every time before it, I hit the wall of fatalism and apathy, so I’m just accepting that I will lose what I reasonably can in fits and starts and that I will probably not reach the very low bar I set for myself. You have to care and put in the effort, and I don’t, so either it’ll happen incidentally or it won’t happen at all. Just how it goes.
I personally grew up fat majority of my years as a kid to adult
So it was my big dream to one day lose a bunch of weight and get in shape
Well I had a mental breakdown in college, became hyper depressed and insecure and became anorexic and bullemic
I lost 175 pounds just from not eating, throwing up and walking a LOT (luckily i had a friends group of dudes who just wanted to walk and talk all the time)
Than I tried to join the marines for a year, did exercises with them, etc but that didnt pan out, had to move to a different town with my parents because I lost my job
Slowly I began to gain more weight, because I didnt have my friends/PT to keep me active anymore and I just isolated myself in my parents basement
Start dating, moved in with a girl who gave me big portions like I like, and gained all my weight back
Now I’m like 360 or something
I dont care, at some point i tried to lose weight again but started getting hungry around lunch time and was like “eh…. whatever I guess I’m fat now….”
I encourage people to lose weight and get healthy if that’s what they want for themselves
but if you just want to be “pretty” than I think you’re kinda missing the point
Being skinny/fat didnt really effect my ability to get girls much so since I’m not racked with self hate (which was my primary motivator in my youth) I’ll just kinda give up super easily
And I dont encourage people to have self hate like mine because it seriously messed up my life
Losing 175 pounds like I did isnt nothing to celebrate if I was at birthday party thinking about suicide while everyone was listening to my stomach growl.
I didnt even want to go to that party too because I knew I couldnt be happy and eventually it became noticable and everyone got concerned because of how i was acting.
Dont let self hate destroy you.
If you want to be in shape cool, do it, but dont do it because you hate yourself.
My biggest regret re health and fitness was NOT paying way more attention to diet through most of my life.
I was very diligent in the weight room and with aerobic activity but I really could have had a great physique if i jsut paid more attention to diet.
current state is in my 50s im stronger than ever, but have a belly. discipline and drive in the gym is easy compared to fiet discipline. Also at the stage where the best way to look bigger would be for me to cut.
Wanting to eat is no excuse to stop working out though. Workout with shitty diet is still a lot better than no workout at all.
I did a good diet for the first 6 months, which is what it took me to lose my belly, and then, now that i wanna build muscle, i eat whatever i want. Was worth the effort
Yep, pretty much in the same boat except I’m skinny fat – noodly arms and a beer gut.
I’m not interested in the discipline it’d take to get visible abs. I like food, I like beer, this is me.
So what I’m doing to combat it is to (mostly) eat one meal a day, and I’ve started slowly building an exercise habit with kettlebells and a rowing machine.
I’ll never be ripped, but I’m hoping to get to a base level of fitness where I’m not embarrassed to be shirtless.
Idiots in here thinking they can get away with a shitty diet in the long run aren’t living past 100
I used to struggle with weight but now I take Ozempic. It cuts out the food noise and ravenous cravings and got me from obese to normal weight and has given me a new lease on life. I also don’t crave sugar anymore. Now I just focus on lifting weights and everything I eat is high protein.
I love a six pack way more than I love a six pack.
Friend of mine works out hard, consistently for this very reason. The man loves his burgers and beer and flat out admits he works hard in order to maintain his interest in food and drink. He’s in his later 40’s now, thicc and strong as hell. Tours breweries all over the world.
Once your life is busy you can’t outwork a shitty diet. You just won’t have enough time.
If you wanna temper how bad you look while overweight, gaining muscle is far and away the best way to do that.
I get to certain weights an struggle to push past. I’m quite lean naturally without worrying about what I eat to much within reason. I struggle to go sub 10% tho I think had comments I’m already there but I don’t think I am.
I’m struggle bulking too. The amount I need to eat consistently injust can’t seem to do. Plus I hate losing my abs haha
I’ve never really had an issue cutting out unhealthy food. I don’t really miss it. I’m 46 and probably in the best shape I’ve ever been, about 11-12 body fat. I had a little health scare and cut out sugar and salt. I lost about 8 pounds in a month because of that, probably all water though. Luckily it was a false alarm but I don’t miss the sugar or salt. I went to a party on Sunday and ate all the rich food there was and my stomach starting hurting so bad I had to go home.
I just want to not be at high risk of heart attack or stroke. And I want to be mobile for as long as I can be. That’s why I try to eat right and strength train. It’s not so much about getting fat. Two people have died from a stroke at my job fairly recently and they were barely 50. One of my old high school classmates just had one in his mid 30s but luckily survived. Scary stuff.
lol congrats. Maybe think about your health some as well though
Just eat less. I lost over 70 lbs in 2 years, and i had months where I dropped 5 lbs eating mostly fast food. You dont have to change what you eat (tho yes ofc it helps), just how much of it you eat.
Yeah, I wanted to be athletic with a sixpack. Did some gym, got a bit of muscle and a good posture, but cutting the flab has never worked. Either I just start losing hair or can’t function at work so you know, I’ll rather stay skinny fat.
Imagine thinking eating healthily is something you do just “for a while” 😂
This is why most guys end up fat 🤷
You cant have your cake and eat it that’s why you see lots of fat men in their 30s.
I found the combination of NEAT (non exercise activity) (basically moving every few minutes and hitting 10k steps), calorie deficit, and gym best bang for bucks.
You’ll need to run a lot longer to lose the same weight and not be as toned as the gym.
Its pretty easy and can be incorporated into daily activity such than the only thing youre doing extra compared to normal is the 1 hour gym 4 to 5 days a week and the extra few minutes per meal you spend weighing food.
I have two kids under 6 and married. Ive got abs for the first time in my life at 35 so its never too late
I have changed my perspective from looks to function. And I feel so much better!
My fitness goals are to be able to deadlift 500lbs, squat 400 and have enough cardio to be able to run around with my kids, hike in the mountains and carry heavy stuff on my back up to our cabin (a horrible mixture of strength, agility and cardio)
I have deadlifted 500 once before and topped out my squat at 370, so managing those things after 40 will take some dedication.
So far I have managed to become decently strong with a less than ideal diet and way less sleep than I should have. Progress will come even if you don’t live by all recomendations, but it will be a bit slower.
Dieting is nobody’s ‘thing.’
Anything worthwhile usually sucks, it doesn’t come down to being ‘for you’ or ‘for them.’
That just seems like an excuse.
Nobody wants to work hard. That is not how we are designed biologically.
> I wanna just eat what I want and be happy
Just remember that this is a slippery slope between eating in moderation so you don’t have feel bad that “you can’t eat anything because its unhealthy” vs you are “happy” when you are glutenous.
For me it feels better when I eat the “bad but tasty” stuff rarely.
And you also have to remember that 50-60 year old you will probably look back at the decisions not in approving manner. I know an older guy (in his 70s I think) – he has blood sugar problems, overweight and he recently got half his foot amputated because it wasn’t healing from an infection. Most of this comes down to his lifestyle and stubbornness.
I don’t diet like a gym bro eating plain chicken and rice. I do eat well and cook 20/21 meals at home. A cooking class can usually do more for a fitness goal than more time at the gym.
By minding sweets and liquid calories, I have more space for actual nutrition that I want. Avoiding anything with zero calorie sweeteners has helped me with late night food cravings. Something about diet cola that causes an endless hunger for me, like the munchies times a million.
Dad (38) of 3 here. 300lbs a few years ago and 220lbs today.
Absolutely went through the yo yo weight loss mess. Wanted to be skinny, wanted to eat all the things, etc.
Now I have that build that says you can tell I train but I also don’t say no to a cheeseburger.
For me, I learned to focus on health rather than the scale and found that balance where I am now.
Find the diet and exercise routine that you enjoy and live your best life. The most important part is that your kids see you making healthy decisions and enjoying life.
I’m 43, always been active (competitive swimmer) and gym on a regular basis. I was one of those guys who consistently had decent visible abs (not insanely ripped, but around 10% bodyfat) most of my adult life.
Since turning 40, things have started to slip and I now find myself probably 3-4kg heavier than I’d like to be. The abs are there…just – slightly visible in the morning but after a day of regular eating I feel like I have a noticeable belly which is disconcerting.
By most standards, my diet is reasonably good: protein granola in the morning, a light lunch, usually one protein shake a day and I don’t snack often. But, my evening meals can vary and due to a decent income, I enjoy going out for meals or eating takeaway more than I used to. It’s one of life’s pleasures but does come at a calorie cost that I find it hard to balance. This is in spite of 2 – 3 swim training sessions, 3 – 4 gym workouts and usually 1 or 2 runs a week.
There’s truth to the saying that you can’t out train a bad diet – I’m starting to become living proof of that – but my advice would be to decide which one is harder: restricting your food intake, or being more active so you burn extra calories. Focus on the one you can control the most and do what you can with the other.
For me, I enjoy being active so I’ve been able to limit weight gain by burning as many calories as I can, and being reasonable with my diet while still eating what I want. If you hate exercise then you have no option but to watch what you eat, or getting fat is an inevitable end result.
One of the best things my parents did for us was to eat healthy and cook real meals (mostly from scratch) when we were growing up. If you don’t want your kids to be be fat kids/fat adults show them proper nutrition and how to cook.
You just need self control and ask yourself if you want your physique/goals bad enough.
At the end of the day, if you’re not getting the body you want, or have the body you don’t want; it’s all on you.
I’m fine with counting calories and eating more protein when it’s more convenient, but yeah, the whole micromanaging everything I eat, tallying macros and working out for a couple hours every day is not for me.
I’m fine with just sticking to a max, working out for an hour a couple times a week. I don’t have the discipline for it nor the interest, it’s a means to an end for me and that end is to get down to a weight and be more functionally fit to do the things I like.
The key isn’t to “diet”. The key is to practice portion control. Most people eat until they are stuffed and there is just not going to be any way to avoid getting fat like this. Get a calorie tracking app, eat what you want but within the limits of your daily caloric burn and you’re fine. You’ll start finding foods you can eat more of to achieve the same calories and it’ll work itself out from there.
If eating what you want is fried chicken and burgers every night then you’re probably just cooked and not much is going to be done about that unless you’re ok having a belly
I had the opposite problem. I’m 5’11”, weighed 135 pounds at age 18. I had been doing some weights since I was 15, not much progress. Went to college, started lifting more intensively, and was consuming a pound of weight gainer with whole milk every day. I got up to 139 pounds, and no further.
After graduation I continued going to the gym and supplemented my diet, at age 24 weighed 143 pounds, didn’t make it to 150 pounds until I was 30.
88% of the time I eat really healthy. My only sugar consumption comes from fruit, dark chocolate and alcohol. So, I don’t consider myself needing to be on a “diet” other than continuing to eat healthy. However, I’m a smaller guy and wanted to put on some muscle mass. Using a macro app to track my protein intake drove me insane. It wasn’t even a lot compared to what a lot of guys do, just 145g. It felt impossible to hit consistently and it made eating something I had to think about constantly.
I honestly believe the mantra I heard 18 years ago that “nothing tastes as good as having abs feels” and for me, that always rang true. I started training at 20, I’m 39 and in great shape. Beach ready year round.
I’m also vain as fuck though and I know this
My secret is when I eat garbage food I just order a small. Craving that deep fried goodness? Get a small. Want a full meat greasy pizza just order a small. I’m not in great shape but I’ve maintained a healthy weight for the last 8 years this way
I eat what I want for the most part and go to the gym 5 days a week, I lost a decent bit of weight dropped a few pants sizes and then stopped. I’m sure if I ate better I’d be skinny but I’m just husky and still see muscle gains. I like it works for me.
I just do my best to not eat like I did 20 years ago. I never shy away from things I like to eat; only try to keep servings down, especially since my new position is a lot more sedentary.
What do you mean “wasn’t for them”?
It means they lack discipline and conviction, which are traits a real man should have developed by the age of 30.
You can control what you put into your body. You have free will. A man who is a slave to urges is just an animal.
I did what I wanted and got kinda fat. Now at 46 I’m dieting again. Its surprisingly easy though. Like it’s not a crazy diet. I just eat two 500kcal meals a day. Maybe a little snack or two in between if I need it. Only eat a dessert like once a month maybe.
I got no idea if it will stick though.