Hi, 32 male here.
I started my life early. When my parents got divorced i had both experience living with my mum and my dad but i never got to live by myself in my own house/apartment.
I got married at 22 and after couple of months living with my dad and my wife we soon moved when we were about to have our first child we moved out.
Those who had/have experience living alone in their own apartment/house, how does it feel? Tell me about it. What do you do? Do you like it? What do you have in your house?
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I’m about to find out when I go to bed later. Literally just started my lease today.
My whole life it was either me and my mom (dad was deployed), me and my dad (mom died from cancer), or me and my nephew (for the past two months). Now it’s literally just me, myself, and I.
It’s gonna be…something. lol.
I love living alone. There’s nothing better than when you get home with a guarantee that you don’t have to deal with anyone else’s bullshit
Pluses and minuses like many things in life.
You get to make all the relevant decisions about your life which is good and bad, You do not get that reassurance you are making the right decision.
You can change your mind on a whim and not worry about any fall out.
Because you have to handle EVERYTHING in your life you have to prioritize and some things will suffer a bit.
When everything is going well it feels great when things are not going well it would be nice to have some form of help.
I love being able to do what I want without anyone else bothering me about it.
Wanna stick on the TV? My choice. Wanna game? No one to moan about it. Can’t be bothered to do the washing up? That’s cool, I’ll just do it tomorrow.
The only time I was truly alone was when I had a summer internship and had to do a 3 month stretch in another city. 100% alone, and it was awful. Utterly awful. The silence of being alone is deafening. The place is exactly how you left it, and stone silent when you walk in the door.
After that, the only solo stretch was when i graduated college and my fiancé had one more semester before she graduated. Thankfully I had our dog by that point, which makes a huge difference. You can’t understate how much better it is coming back to your apartment and you have a dog excited to see you, versus just an empty place.
I’ve always loved it! I have my own art and I have music instruments and books everywhere…easel for painting. I do whatever the fuck I want and it’s amazing ahah
I moved out at 17 and spent then till my late 20s with roommates. I loved, loved, loved living alone when I finally could afford it. I only got moved in again with someone else when I moved in with my now wife in my 30s.
I’m in the same boat. Lived with my parents until college, then with roommates for the next 10 years until I moved in with my now-wife. I don’t mind it. I like being around people and I would get bored and antsy if I lived alone.
It’s got some sides to it, like everything in life. On the one hand it’s nice to have all the peace and quiet in the world, the ability to make all the decisions yourself and only make them for yourself, and…
Well, that’s about it for me.
The rest of it is that I suffer a great deal from loneliness even though I have a good job with nice colleagues, active hobbies with fun people and enough friends to fill my calendar. Still, there’s nobody to go to sleep and wake up with, or to spend hours of “alone together” time with on a regular basis. The primitive primate in me would really love to share the home cave with someone special and to be part of a family.
I also have a bit of decision fatigue from making all the decisions all the time, and not having anyone with a horse in the race to come to a good compromise with.
I live alone. People tire me out. I need a lot of alone time after dealing with people.
It feels so good to come home to peace and quiet.
I grew up in a noisy family where I had no privacy, and now I get to enjoy my privacy.
It’s great 95% of the time. The other 5% can be lonely. It’s great to make all my own choices about furniture, decorating, food, pets, what temperature I prefer, etc.
I wouldn’t even count college, totally different experience. I didnt move out until 32, im 3 years on my own now.
It feels amazing, started living alone at 19.
Had the pleasure to learn so many things in a hard way, I can do whatever I want and have a lot of things on my control.
I lived alone for 9 of my 17 adult years. I loved it and sometimes miss it now. The freedom to do whatever whenever I felt like it was great. Long weekends were great opportunities to just escape and go do things I wanted to. Nowadays, long weekends are time to get projects done that someone else is asking for, install new shelves, repaint this room, put new tile in the shower, etc.
But with that, there is a lot of comfort living with a spouse. Mine does a lot of things I hate doing without minding much herself because the trade off is I do things she hates doing. Combining income for household expenses leaves more money in our accounts to do things we enjoy. We have slightly different work schedules, we both get Sundays off so we have a full day together, but we also have a different day off so we have a day to ourselves as well which is also nice.
I lived alone for 2 years in my mid-late 20s. It was honestly the best two years of my life.
I think the best part was being on my own schedule. I could go for a run any time I wanted. I didn’t have to ask if anyone needed anything or wanted to tag along to the grocery store. I didn’t have to plan my diet around other people (as someone who maintains a strict diet, wasting a cheat meal on someone else’s choice of food is the worst).
Having the space to myself was great. I could decorate how I wanted. I didn’t have to clean up after roommates. I could have a friend over at any time without it being a big deal.
Another big thing was privacy. I’m a creative person, but I don’t really like sharing my creations with people, and I definitely don’t want people sticking their nose in stuff I’m working on. I made more art and music in those two years than I have throughout the rest of my life. I really miss getting to explore that side of myself.
Now for the downsides. I was lonely a lot, and I was very poor. I am somewhat introverted, so being alone generally doesn’t bother me, but there were times when it was hard. Sometimes something cool or interesting would happen, and I’d have no one to discuss it with. I remember when Avengers Endgame came out, I couldn’t help but wonder if my ex, who I had watched the rest of the series with, had seen it and what they thought about it. I ended up just going home afterwards and having no one to talk about it with. Things like that made me miss having some kind of “life partner.”
Also, as I mentioned before, I hardly had any extra money after paying rent, feeding myself, and keeping gas in my car. One accident or financial emergency would have ruined me. I make more nowadays and probably wouldn’t have to struggle so much to live alone, but having a roommate to pay half the rent makes a big difference.
Overall, living alone was a great experience. I don’t think it’s for everyone, but I do think most people should try it if they get the chance.
Considering your situation, I don’t think you should dwell on it much.
I absolutely hated living alone, did it for 1 year and would never do it again.
I like people, being in an apartment alone just feels weird and boring. I dont enjoy doing much alone, or its okay but just not as good, especially things like eating meals or even watching TV alone makes it such a boring experience.
I ended up going out like 7 nights a week because I’d eat dinner, and be like “okay what to do now for like 5 hours?” I can only spend so much time playing guitar, reading, playing games, working out etc. before im just like “wow all of this sucks compared to just hanging out with someone doing literally anything”
My wife. She lived with her mom, then with a mutual friend of ours for a year and with me ever since.
I lived alone for years, untill I my landlord passed and his son took over and pretty much doubled my rent. I had a 2bd 2 bath and I could afford it by doing side work for my landlord, new AC, furnaces, boilers, minisplits, water heaters all that sorta stuff.
I loved it. Could bump my records whenever, cook at midnight when a gf comes over, smoke, drink, have people over. I’m also sorta a neat freak so not having a savage as a roomie who can’t wash dishes, clean up after themselves is always a plus.
It’s was ideal for me
I have never lived alone. That’s probably a good thing as I can get very dark in my emotions sometimes
Living alone is amazing. Been doing it for the last 10 years. Did it in my mid 20s for a few years, also.
My garage is full of motorcycles, my condo is homey with some fun artistic-vibes.
When I’m not working, I’m at the gym, going jogging at the park across the street, hitting the mountain trails down the road, floating in the pool with a drink, or doing midnight burrito trips on a bike.
Living alone really allowed me to become me again after my divorce at 40.
It’s about to come to an end as my long distance relationship is about to move in with me, which will also be fun.
32 here, I’ve never lived alone for more than a day or two.
Never alone alone.
Parents, uni shared house, parents, house with now wife.
I lived with some annoying roommates and was excited when I could rent a place on my own. I then lived alone for 5 years or so, and it was rather peaceful. It’s important to maintain social contacts though to not feel too isolated. I think if you’re an introvert and have lots of things to keep yourself occupied, it’s a good experience.
I’ve been married and living with my wife for the last 6 years, she’s going to be out of the country for 3 weeks soon and I’m kind of terrified to be all alone during that time now though lol. At least I have a couple of cats to keep me company while she’s away.
I lived alone for a couple of years, my last year of college and for a year after. I liked it at the time. Never had to tell anyone where I was going or what I was doing. Ate whatever I wanted, nobody else dictated or affected my schedule or sleep. I’m married now and am infinitely happier with my wife around, but solo life wasn’t bad at the time.
Currently living alone after living with my SO for about 8 years. My house is barren foreal. I dont even have a couch lol
i did…
gf (now wife) and i moved out of our parents and in to our home.
i dont want to say its a regret, but i do wish i tried it.
I’m nearly 38 and have never lived alone, lived with parents, house shared with a couple I was friends with, met my now wife, she moved in, the couple moved out a year later and I’ve lived with the Mrs ever since. I don’t think I’d do well living alone.
39 here, i don’t like living alone, always actively search for partner
at 24 yo, moved out from my parent’s house and moved to other city
actively dating for like 6-8 months with different person and eventually settle with i thought the one
living together for like 8 years until break up, living alone again and actively dating again, after few months got “the one” and become my current partner, we decided to live together almost immediately
I have never lived completely alone. The closest I’ve been was for about six months in college when I shared a condo with another guy and he worked about 12 hours a day so I didn’t see him much. Then I met my girlfriend (now wife) and she moved in with me and we’ve been inseparable since.
To be honest, I’d love the quiet and peacefulness for about 3 days, then I’d get lonely. Even though I’m a homebody and not super social, I still want some people around.
I have severe bipolar and was worried if I ever lived alone I’d go down a spiral and not leave the house or eat. So, I’ve never lived alone. Now at 45 I’d LOVE to live alone, but it’s too late. I have a family. I hope it’s a great move for you.
Lived at home through high school, went to college with roommates, graduated and got an apartment with my fiancee. Haven’t had a day in my life where I’ve lived alone, and I don’t hate it.
It’s amazing.
I think the only down side about living alone is when you meet someone and you start to think about moving in together.
It’s an incredibly hard thing to give up. The peace, the space, the freedom.
If one wants to, I think it’s good for a while, but if one would does not want to live by themselves (me), it’s like torture, always thinking about those you love, every day, wishing you were back with them.
My grandfather never lived alone. When he lost his wife and brother the same year he had a breakdown. He had never learnt to take care of himself, so he got to a nursing home in the early 60’s and lied in bed most of the time.
I’ve always lived with family or friends and at 70 I doubt I’d like living alone
Been living alone about 8 years now after my divorce it was rough at first but I really don’t know if I’ll ever want to live with someone again. I love it, I love my peace. I WFH but I make sure to get out a lot. I love coming home to myself.
I’ve lived alone on and off for years, maybe ten in total? It’s interesting.
My first few places away from home were dorm rooms with roommates, then immediately into a place with a girlfriend for a few years.
Then, broke up, moved back into houses with roommates for the majority of my 20s.
Around 27 I got my first solo spot.
It is intoxicating.
You are the king of your territory. You can do whatever you want wherever you want whenever you want to do it.
Shit with the bathroom door open so you can see the TV.
Move your bed into the living room for the weekend? Why not?
Do the dishes, OR DON’T, it’s up to you.
Take a shower and do other relatively noisy things in the middle of the night.
It’s really something, especially if you’re already a little introverted. Having the space to yourself with a lock on the door is heaven. Just absolute peace and solitude. It’s incredible.
This was me a few years ago (I’m 43 now).
Other than living in halls my first year at Uni (had my own room but shared common areas with 5 other guys), I had never lived alone when I met my (now ex) wife shortly after graduating. Lived with her from age 23 until we separated in 2016 when I was 33 going on 34.
When we split, I was fortunate enough to be earning good money and that allowed me to rent a small flat in the city centre while our marital home was sold, and we got divorced. Honestly, it was the best time of my life. Partly, I’m sure, because I was suddenly free from a pretty dull marriage that had felt like I was slowly dying on the inside one day at a time.
The freedom to come and go as you please, do whatever you want without having to consider anyone else’s plans or feelings, is hard to beat. Obviously, it helps if you have a bit of disposable income (I wasn’t rich or anything, but comfortable financially). I loved getting up on the weekend, walking to a café for breakfast and strolling around. I lived in a nice city. I had a few friends and enough hobbies to keep life interesting.
I also fell in love with solo holidays. I first went abroad on my own in the summer of 2016, just a few months after separating, and again it was amazing – not to mention half as expensive as paying for two people, so everything felt super cheap!
Fast-forward, I’m back in a relationship now and living with my current partner. It’s a much better experience than before, I learned some lessons from my marriage and make sure to keep plenty of independence, but it’s nice having someone to live with.
Bottom line: I think everyone should live on their own at least once. You learn a lot about yourself, how to be independent, how to take care of a house/flat etc. I think it makes you a much better partner as and when that comes back around.
I loved it. I was very lucky to have a few years living alone. Bought a house in 2000 with a long term girlfriend, things didn’t work out in the end so she moved out.
I had all my musical and recording equipment set up constantly, I had glass framed mounts of my favourite albums on the walls. Skateboards everywhere, I grew my favourite plants if you know what I mean. I lived a care free life for a few years and it was amazing.
However, it did become a bit sad and lonely in the end. I had lots of friends and family close by so always had someone to spend time with, but there is something very sad about waking up on Christmas morning in an empty house. I turned 31 and started to think about things differently. I was very lucky to meet my wife that year so everything changed then and I was ready for it, big time.
I rent a small flat for a lot of money where I am barely present. It sucks.
If you are a natural lone wolf or can be isolated and have no issue.. People can thrive.
Others need people around or they end up lonely, depressed, or various other issues.
Then you mix in how you were raised, your environment, your intelligence level, etc.
It is pretty dependent on each individual.
I miss being alone sometimes, but then when my wife and kids are away for 2-3 days.. I am very bored and start getting lonely. 7 years ago, I would say leave me be on my own… Now it is the opposite lol.
35m here, it’s fucking magical. I’ve hung the art I enjoy, no compromises. I have the furniture I desire. Someone pointed out the joys of not having to deal with the bullshit. You know what is the most magical? I grew up in a large house. I was one of four kids born in thirty-nine months. Duct tape exists in a separate dimensional space than we humans do. That all changes when living alone. You know not only where the duct tape is, but also where everything else is. You get to decide the location of things, and you are the only one not putting them back in place, making it far less likely to lose track of those trivial consumer goods.
I lived alone with my dog in a lakehouse for 10 years. it was fucking amazing. That said, I am a lot more fulfilled and happy living with my wife and kids, and a lot more healthy too.
I’m a very schedule driven person. I don’t like to over work myself. I get to do all the chores on my time table instead of getting smashed on the weekend. Mon-wed-Friday. 1 load of laundry each night. Do the dishes while I cook. Wash pans while food cool. Oh wow not a sink full of pans for the last 3 days.
Instead of going oh I have all this cleaning on the weekend. I go I vacuum, clean the bathroom and dust. 45mins of chores on the weekend. How did that happen. Oh it so simple clean as you go.
I’m in the middle of getting divorced. So far this is my most freeing experience. I used to have my weekends smashed with bs chores. Before you say why didn’t do this while married. Because she would throw a fit over it. The level of control was mind numbing.
Thank you for letting me vent.
I’m 52F and have only lived alone for 2 weeks my entire life. I moved out of my mom’s house into my own duplex when I was 17, two weeks later my sister moved in, and a year later I got married.
I once heard someone explain that being single vs. in a relationship, having children vs. being childless, living alone vs. with someone, is like a medieval siege. Those on the outside what in. Those on the inside want out.
Just something to keep in mind when wondering it he grass is greener somewhere else…
I lived alone for about 6 months. It was fine. It was a bachelor suite it was when I just moved out, so I owned nothing.
I’m 58 years old. I only lived alone for four months. It was a small studio apartment in Manhattan. No bathroom (there were two bathrooms shared with the floor.). It was a victory. I felt like an adult.
The rest of my life I either lived with my parents, whom I helped financially and cared for for almost 15 years, or with friends.
These four months that I lived alone didn’t leave a lasting impression on me, but it was an unusual experience. Different from anything I’ve ever experienced. In my opinion, it’s not part of my normal routine. I’ve always lived with other people. Although I do consider living alone, it’s something that’s within my reach in the coming years.
I can’t wait.