I’m 40f married but never really in the mood for sex. But recently I have found myself incredibly turned on ALL night to the point I will finger myself while he sleeps. Then when he leaves in the morning, I get my toy out and play. I feel guilty though. What is causing this and should I feel guilty?
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U saw me passing by
It could be your age. As for feeling guilty, why? Also, you could see if your partner is in the mood.
How often do you guys have sex?
Sounds like you need to have a real conversation with your husband (and/or a sex therapist) about your needs and desires. Clearly there is a disconnect.
Why do you wait for him to leave, are you turned on but don’t want to have sex with your husband?
Why not wake him up and… yannow… do the things?
Hey, ever thought of turning to your husband?
Its perfectly okay. Even if you wanna just pleasure yourself that’s fine. Visit your gynae have a conversation okay.
Because you get horny at night. That is all.
Have you considered that it’s getting relaxed that enables you to get turned on?
Sorry for being in your dreams
There seems to be a disconnect between your mind and body. Seems obvious your body wants it, but the fact that you do not desire your husband – and are actually waiting for him to leave to take care of yourself – needs to be examined.
There’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, don’t get me wrong. The red flag here is not that, it’s that you seem to be going out of your way to avoid him.
Temptation is in the nite. Go to sleep earlier lol.
Hormones most likely. But, as a side note, have you thought about what your relationship with your husband is like? Is being intimate with him good/appealing still?
For God’s sake, wake him up!
Don’t feel guilty. Nobody should feel guilty about their sexual appetite. I go through waves of crazy horniness and sometimes nothing at all. The only time I would worry is if it negatively affects your relationship. I hate how many places make women feel guilty about their sex drive.
Women peak at different times and 40 is not out of the ordinary. Finger yourself if you prefer to get it done but let your man in on some of that too. Does he do it for you or it just hits you at night with no encouragement?
Usually night is when people relax and let go of the craziness of the day, that would allow your focus to drift other places. I would bring this up to your husband though, the amount of connection you two could get from letting him tend to those needs is likely something you’re missing out on, and perhaps the basis of your guilt.
Proof that marriage is an absolute waste of time.
My 40’s were my hottest years. Enjoy
Poor husband probably suffering away with no initiation and no sex while you rub yourself to joy. Why not just wake him up or talk to him and do the real thing?
Talk to your husband, your robbing him and yourself
Hormones can do odd things. You might be nearing menopause or in perimenopause. Or neither. My PCP (woman in her 50s) and I discussed how when you hit your 40s, a lot of women get hornier. We laughed about her and her friends discussing how their husbands were fans. 🤣
Why this happens, I have no clue. But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have sex or masturbate. Sometimes I crave masturbation instead of sex. 🤷♀️ If that’s what I want, I mention this to my partner if they happen to be by me and whether I’m feeling like I want them involved or not. Sometimes it also leads to them masturbating. Sometimes we’re just too tired to go through all the activity for sex but just enjoy some intimacy.
If you’re not feeling comfortable asking your partner for sex, I would examine why. Have they made you feel ashamed for wanting sex? Are they abusive? Are they holding a grudge because you didn’t have sex? Etc etc. Do you not like sex with another person? That’s a possibility too.