Taking advantage of a society that has sexualised women – so they’ve found a gap where they can use that and make a living.
VS
Supporting the system that exploits women. And how it’s so hard to know if someone is a willing sex worker, or if they’ve been pimped/trafficked, etc. So the to pay for sex is to take that risk = valuing their sexual pleasure over the exploitation of women.
…..
Making a living, just surviving VS supporting a toxic and dangerous industry for self pleasure.
It is not the fact that they use an escort service, it is how many of these men treat the women escorting them with utter disrespect. The women agree and consent to being hired as an escort, that does not mean that they agree to being mistreated
Actually, I think it’s not just about how men treat escorts but also this weird double standard we have around sex work in general… As a woman, I’ve noticed we judge each other harshly for exploring our own sexuality or making bank from it while giving dudes a total pass to do the same shit without judgment…
The key thing here is how we see supply vs demand in this scenario. The men are creating the demand for sex work. Personally, I truly don’t believe any women would choose this if they had another option. No one wants a stranger in their intimate space in a way that they can do great harm to you. It’s not real work in my opinion in the way that stocking shelves is. It’s different.
I understand how women end up in sex work, we all have to pay rent, but I don’t see the man’s side as equally legitimate.
let’s start by establishing some things. sex work is real work and escort services don’t usually involve sex acts, although that can be part of the service depending on various factors.
regardless! while i don’t view sex work (ALL sex work) as being inherently exploitative like some other commenters have said, it is a profession that exists within the patriarchal system. women may choose to go into sex work for a variety of reasons, not ALL of those reasons may be survival (although there is a hierarchy at play here in which the more dangerous the work, the more likely it is that the woman has been trafficked or is peddling to survive). but “safer” professions like escorts and porn stars get into the work usually bc it’s good money and they enjoy it.
however, none of this exists in a vacuum. many women view sex work as a profession sustained by patriarchy and other limitations that have made it harder for women to find “legitimate” employment, such as the wage gap, for example. this may be less of a factor in 2025 america, but we’re not THAT far removed from women being unable to open a bank account unless they were married. and prostitution in particular has a thousand years of misogynist history that hasn’t completely been erased just bc many women have been able to use the profession to empower themselves and lift themselves up out of poverty (again, a relatively new phenomenon).
Men, historically, have exploited women through sex work. in many countries around the world they still do. A legal sex worker in Amsterdam or an OF model in the states is not working under the same conditions as a hooker who works the street in south america, or a sex trafficking victim in Belarus. but these associations live in our collective subconscious for a reason.
tldr; the notion of ethical sex work is relatively new and is still in the infancy stage. it can be hard to know whether or not you are engaging with sex workers ethically, and the vast majority of men don’t consider this or seem to care very much about it or the history and context of the professions.
I’m fairly certain this isn’t a 1:1 scenario. There are plenty of women that aren’t supportive of sex workers, and those tend to be the kind of sexually repressed people that would look down on someone for engaging with an escort.
I don’t think it is that common for people to be supportive of escorts or johns outside of certain parts of the internet and some irl communities. If it were that common you’d see more places decriminalizing or legalizing prostitution.
I think you’re more likely to find people who go to strip clubs and think strippers are worthless than people who think strippers are great and the people going are terrible.
I mean there are women who dont think its okay and men who do. You’re kinda just assigning opinions to entire genders when i dont believe this is even the common consensus. Different people feel differently about it.
A lot of escorts are only doing it because they need money or are being trafficked by a pimp. Whereas men who hire escorts are doing it purely for their sexual pleasure. A lot of them do not view these women as human beings, that’s where the issue is.
Because the women who choose to be escorts or sex workers often have little actual choice in it. The men who hire them are taking advantage of women who are forced wither by a pimp/trafficker or by general poverty and lack of options to sell their bodies.
Because people are hypocrites hands down.
People are expecting a utopia out of people who are still fighting over basic resources after millions of years of evolution. They are delusional, and that is all there is to say.
The woman is being resourceful and earning a living in an unconventional way, and will likely be at physical, legal, and social risk to do this work. It’s frowned upon for a number of reasons and very often an act of desperation and/or survival. There are admirable qualities to be found here.
The man is using money to buy a woman’s body for sexual gratification. It’s very rarely a biological need, and is almost always just the satisfaction of a vice or misguided sense of entitlement. There really isn’t anything admirable about his position or actions.
I’ve paid for sex a few times. Two times it felt dirty and wrong, I regret those choices and I’m not proud of them, a 3rd and final time was surprisingly wonderful. It was a happy, enthusiastic exchange of services for money and I’m positive we both enjoyed ourselves.
All that being said, I don’t find anyone doing or purchasing sex work to be disgustingly, but neither do I find it to be ok.
I see this sentiment out there and it usually breaks down to, these women are usually in desperate positions, don’t want to do this work and it’s often rife with trafficking, abuse, drugs ETC.
So they recognize why people go into this line of work out of desperation in their minds and think that people who support an industry that is full of these massive issues is in the wrong.
You can boycott a corporation like Starbucks or target for things you consider unethical practices, but can understand the min wage employees have bills to pay
Double standards exist in multiple instances. This is one. Though I will also agree with other people that women who are okay with escorts aren’t always the same women that think men who use escorts are disgusting. They aren’t mutually exclusive or inclusive.
There’s cultures out there that have legal prostitution where wives are 100% okay with their husbands seeking the services of sex workers. Most likely, these cultures see sex and love as separate entities.
I would say that it’s likely that the men that use them tend to being more disgusting by the measure of the people judging.
I don’t think that sex work makes the patron or the proprietor a disgusting person, frankly I view it like any other service industry. The customers who are decent and respectful probably aren’t the ones they’re thinking of. Just look at how people treat waitstaff and add self righteousness to it due to eons of patriarchy, I’m sure there’s a pretty high asshole factor there.
I think there is a stigma against men who use these services. They’re not all bad, but some definitely like the opportunity to take advantage of people in vulnerable positions.
ETA: there is also 100% a stigma against sex workers as well.
Why not? I don’t find selling sex ”good”, but if a grown up mentally stable person wants to do that, ok, it’s his/her choice. But I don’t like people (men or women), who want to use other people, who enjoy the chance to use a living person as a sex toy. Don’t want to associate with this kind of people and find their view of world and relationship quite repulsive.
Don’t find any contradiction in these two opinions.
So I don’t truly approve of either (as far as myself anyway, wouldnt do it unless it’s an absolute last resort financially and even then not sure I could bring myself, and also wouldnt date a guy if I knew they paid for sex)
That said it’s more of the mindset of why each party approaches the situation. Like imo women turn to sex work, typically, as they find themselves in a spot where they realize due to their circumstances they need to do whatever they need to do to get money. Quick.
Men, I feel to pay for temporary access to a woman’s body, means they look at women like objects that can be bought. That they would use materialistic leverage to get a woman’s affection, I just find that incredibly unattractive. And tbf same goes for sugar daddies. Would never date a guy if I knew they used their resources to lure in (esp much younger) women for sex. I just find it icky.
I would never judge a woman for doing whatever she had to do to feed herself. But I would judge a man for taking advantage of her situation to get sexual gratification.
It’s unclear to me how much free will a sex worker has when “choosing” her profession. Many were sex trafficked as children, and some still are. Others have a substance abuse problem and making decisions they may not otherwise make. As a woman, I don’t imagine woman think this is a great career if they gave other opportunities. For these reasons, I don’t judge her.
This is a generalization and just my idea of what people think.
Sex worker: having bodily autonomy, making money, being free to be sexual, being free and deserve no judgment for their proclivities
Client: cannot attract a mate without money, view women as purchasable objects, likely equated to the horror stories people hear about male clients
I don’t think this is true all the time but that’s the vibe I get from media and people in general. You think about any time strippers or prostitutes are shown in the media, the men are shown as creeps and desperate losers and the women are just hard workers who live a hard life and get abused by men.
Maybe this is controversial, I don’t know. I don’t care if a woman wants to do that, it’s her business, but I don’t have much respect for the profession. While obviously some of these women are forced into it, the ones who CHOOSE to do this on their own is what I struggle understanding. I get its good money, but there are so many other respectable career paths they could’ve chosen. I also understand that a lot of these women may have lived underprivileged lives and have had a lot of extra struggles to work through, potentially unable to take the direct routes, like schooling. Or maybe they weren’t properly taught their options. I’m sure they all have their reasons. So, for the escorts, I don’t care, but I’m not going to respect you or your work. If I found out a man used an escort service I wouldn’t respect him either. I find the whole situation to be gross. People may feel otherwise, and that’s fine. So yeah, I support their choice to do it, just like I support people eating black licorice, but I won’t respect you cause you eat it. Or I support someone having the choice to be homosexual, but it won’t be the reason I respect you. I might respect them for other reasons, but not that.
As a woman who goes to strip clubs from time to time, my opinion on the people who pay for sex work comes down to respect. Paying for a service does not mean you own the person providing the service or that manners stop mattering just because you’re waving money around. Beyond that, I don’t think paying for sex work is disgusting at all.
For the same reason you not anti child if your anti child labour. The word escort is doing a lot of heavy lifting and obfuscation. There might be escorts out there who truly love their work and their clients but that is not representative as a whole.
I’m a woman and I think both parties are doing something really unhealthy and unnecessary, but I don’t think either should get in any kind of trouble for it.
I think it depends on the type of escort they are using. If they are using one somewhere where it is legal ,regulated and they have rights that is one thing and it’s fine with me since those escorts are their of their own free will. But the ones using the escorts where they may be trafficed and have no choice in the matter is another thing.
People should be allowed to do what they want(obviously within reason, any harm to others should be prevented by law when applicable), i don’t have to think it’s the right choice to respect their ability to choose.
I think its because the men saying that think it lowers the woman’s sexual value in their eyes, and because they think that’s the only important thing about a woman. I think that same attitude is the reason for the strong objections to people being trans from these people. Would be interested to know if there are any pro trans people who shame escorts, betting there aren’t..
I think both are fine. A similar question is, why are all shapes and sizes of dildo seen as absolutely fine, but a man is shunned for having a sex doll with orifices?
Some men see the woman they’re dating as a status symbol, and the hotter and more unattainable they are, the more status one receives for dating her. Women that are considered “easily won” (porn stars, sex workers, women that enjoy lots of casual encounters) are generally looked down on because other men would be less envious of their trophy because of that.
There’s rotten escorts and great escorts, just like there’s rotten clients and great clients. Each one is an individual person with their own reasons for engaging in this particular activity. Outdated stereotypes and a one-size-fits-all philosophy regarding sex work simply doesn’t stand up in the real world.
If people can use poverty, drugs etc as a reason to sell sex, then what are the reason for men to buy sex? Is it because they are inherently ”bad” people who do it for their own pleasure or is it because they’ve been raised to treat women in a certain way or have underlying issues making them pursue sex in this way? Always just trying to empathize with one side of an issue will never solve it, it will just polarize peoples opinions even more.
I’ve met a former sex worker. She told me most of her clients were married men, and quite a few liked it when she acted like their daughter. Some raped her (inb4 “but she agreed!” : no. Going outside of the scope of the contract is rape)
Because they’re not actually okay with it, but they’re just giving a safe public opinion. You can tell when a woman says something like “She can do it, but I never would” that shes just hiding her real opinion to avoid scrutiny
Comments
Because one is exploited the other the exploiter
Taking advantage of a society that has sexualised women – so they’ve found a gap where they can use that and make a living.
VS
Supporting the system that exploits women. And how it’s so hard to know if someone is a willing sex worker, or if they’ve been pimped/trafficked, etc. So the to pay for sex is to take that risk = valuing their sexual pleasure over the exploitation of women.
…..
Making a living, just surviving VS supporting a toxic and dangerous industry for self pleasure.
It is not the fact that they use an escort service, it is how many of these men treat the women escorting them with utter disrespect. The women agree and consent to being hired as an escort, that does not mean that they agree to being mistreated
As long as everything is consensual and safe IDGAF either way.
Because it’s not “their man”.
Double standard
Listen it’s not allll men but it always men
Actually, I think it’s not just about how men treat escorts but also this weird double standard we have around sex work in general… As a woman, I’ve noticed we judge each other harshly for exploring our own sexuality or making bank from it while giving dudes a total pass to do the same shit without judgment…
Those probably aren’t the same people.
Because they’re stupid!
The key thing here is how we see supply vs demand in this scenario. The men are creating the demand for sex work. Personally, I truly don’t believe any women would choose this if they had another option. No one wants a stranger in their intimate space in a way that they can do great harm to you. It’s not real work in my opinion in the way that stocking shelves is. It’s different.
I understand how women end up in sex work, we all have to pay rent, but I don’t see the man’s side as equally legitimate.
let’s start by establishing some things. sex work is real work and escort services don’t usually involve sex acts, although that can be part of the service depending on various factors.
regardless! while i don’t view sex work (ALL sex work) as being inherently exploitative like some other commenters have said, it is a profession that exists within the patriarchal system. women may choose to go into sex work for a variety of reasons, not ALL of those reasons may be survival (although there is a hierarchy at play here in which the more dangerous the work, the more likely it is that the woman has been trafficked or is peddling to survive). but “safer” professions like escorts and porn stars get into the work usually bc it’s good money and they enjoy it.
however, none of this exists in a vacuum. many women view sex work as a profession sustained by patriarchy and other limitations that have made it harder for women to find “legitimate” employment, such as the wage gap, for example. this may be less of a factor in 2025 america, but we’re not THAT far removed from women being unable to open a bank account unless they were married. and prostitution in particular has a thousand years of misogynist history that hasn’t completely been erased just bc many women have been able to use the profession to empower themselves and lift themselves up out of poverty (again, a relatively new phenomenon).
Men, historically, have exploited women through sex work. in many countries around the world they still do. A legal sex worker in Amsterdam or an OF model in the states is not working under the same conditions as a hooker who works the street in south america, or a sex trafficking victim in Belarus. but these associations live in our collective subconscious for a reason.
tldr; the notion of ethical sex work is relatively new and is still in the infancy stage. it can be hard to know whether or not you are engaging with sex workers ethically, and the vast majority of men don’t consider this or seem to care very much about it or the history and context of the professions.
I’m fairly certain this isn’t a 1:1 scenario. There are plenty of women that aren’t supportive of sex workers, and those tend to be the kind of sexually repressed people that would look down on someone for engaging with an escort.
I don’t think it is that common for people to be supportive of escorts or johns outside of certain parts of the internet and some irl communities. If it were that common you’d see more places decriminalizing or legalizing prostitution.
I think you’re more likely to find people who go to strip clubs and think strippers are worthless than people who think strippers are great and the people going are terrible.
One is just a job, the other is finding enjoyment in sex without any deeper bond. There is really no reason why you would view them the same.
I mean there are women who dont think its okay and men who do. You’re kinda just assigning opinions to entire genders when i dont believe this is even the common consensus. Different people feel differently about it.
Men choose to from a place of power and privilege. Women from a place of vulnerability and lack of options.
Men traditionally like to control women’s bodies and her making a choice, any choice, is unacceptable to them.
A lot of escorts are only doing it because they need money or are being trafficked by a pimp. Whereas men who hire escorts are doing it purely for their sexual pleasure. A lot of them do not view these women as human beings, that’s where the issue is.
Because the women who choose to be escorts or sex workers often have little actual choice in it. The men who hire them are taking advantage of women who are forced wither by a pimp/trafficker or by general poverty and lack of options to sell their bodies.
Hypocrisy…its rife
Because people are hypocrites hands down.
People are expecting a utopia out of people who are still fighting over basic resources after millions of years of evolution. They are delusional, and that is all there is to say.
I’ve never heard that, but ok. I think in general most people aren’t keen on anyone becoming sex workers.
The woman is being resourceful and earning a living in an unconventional way, and will likely be at physical, legal, and social risk to do this work. It’s frowned upon for a number of reasons and very often an act of desperation and/or survival. There are admirable qualities to be found here.
The man is using money to buy a woman’s body for sexual gratification. It’s very rarely a biological need, and is almost always just the satisfaction of a vice or misguided sense of entitlement. There really isn’t anything admirable about his position or actions.
I’ve paid for sex a few times. Two times it felt dirty and wrong, I regret those choices and I’m not proud of them, a 3rd and final time was surprisingly wonderful. It was a happy, enthusiastic exchange of services for money and I’m positive we both enjoyed ourselves.
All that being said, I don’t find anyone doing or purchasing sex work to be disgustingly, but neither do I find it to be ok.
Those types of women are just hypocritical.
I see this sentiment out there and it usually breaks down to, these women are usually in desperate positions, don’t want to do this work and it’s often rife with trafficking, abuse, drugs ETC.
So they recognize why people go into this line of work out of desperation in their minds and think that people who support an industry that is full of these massive issues is in the wrong.
You can boycott a corporation like Starbucks or target for things you consider unethical practices, but can understand the min wage employees have bills to pay
i’m boycotting mcdonald’s, doesn’t mean i don’t think those who work there deserve to be treated with respect and paid fairly
Double standards exist in multiple instances. This is one. Though I will also agree with other people that women who are okay with escorts aren’t always the same women that think men who use escorts are disgusting. They aren’t mutually exclusive or inclusive.
There’s cultures out there that have legal prostitution where wives are 100% okay with their husbands seeking the services of sex workers. Most likely, these cultures see sex and love as separate entities.
Fact is, people have different belief systems.
I mean, why do people approve of people who administer addiction treatment therapy, but not approve of addicts?
There’s no particular reason you should expect people to approve of both sides of a transaction.
I would say that it’s likely that the men that use them tend to being more disgusting by the measure of the people judging.
I don’t think that sex work makes the patron or the proprietor a disgusting person, frankly I view it like any other service industry. The customers who are decent and respectful probably aren’t the ones they’re thinking of. Just look at how people treat waitstaff and add self righteousness to it due to eons of patriarchy, I’m sure there’s a pretty high asshole factor there.
I think there is a stigma against men who use these services. They’re not all bad, but some definitely like the opportunity to take advantage of people in vulnerable positions.
ETA: there is also 100% a stigma against sex workers as well.
Shocked Pikachu Face… some people are hypocrites..
Why not? I don’t find selling sex ”good”, but if a grown up mentally stable person wants to do that, ok, it’s his/her choice. But I don’t like people (men or women), who want to use other people, who enjoy the chance to use a living person as a sex toy. Don’t want to associate with this kind of people and find their view of world and relationship quite repulsive.
Don’t find any contradiction in these two opinions.
“Why do people like child lithium slaves but hate lithium extraction corporations?”
So I don’t truly approve of either (as far as myself anyway, wouldnt do it unless it’s an absolute last resort financially and even then not sure I could bring myself, and also wouldnt date a guy if I knew they paid for sex)
That said it’s more of the mindset of why each party approaches the situation. Like imo women turn to sex work, typically, as they find themselves in a spot where they realize due to their circumstances they need to do whatever they need to do to get money. Quick.
Men, I feel to pay for temporary access to a woman’s body, means they look at women like objects that can be bought. That they would use materialistic leverage to get a woman’s affection, I just find that incredibly unattractive. And tbf same goes for sugar daddies. Would never date a guy if I knew they used their resources to lure in (esp much younger) women for sex. I just find it icky.
I would never judge a woman for doing whatever she had to do to feed herself. But I would judge a man for taking advantage of her situation to get sexual gratification.
It’s unclear to me how much free will a sex worker has when “choosing” her profession. Many were sex trafficked as children, and some still are. Others have a substance abuse problem and making decisions they may not otherwise make. As a woman, I don’t imagine woman think this is a great career if they gave other opportunities. For these reasons, I don’t judge her.
This is a generalization and just my idea of what people think.
Sex worker: having bodily autonomy, making money, being free to be sexual, being free and deserve no judgment for their proclivities
Client: cannot attract a mate without money, view women as purchasable objects, likely equated to the horror stories people hear about male clients
I don’t think this is true all the time but that’s the vibe I get from media and people in general. You think about any time strippers or prostitutes are shown in the media, the men are shown as creeps and desperate losers and the women are just hard workers who live a hard life and get abused by men.
Maybe this is controversial, I don’t know. I don’t care if a woman wants to do that, it’s her business, but I don’t have much respect for the profession. While obviously some of these women are forced into it, the ones who CHOOSE to do this on their own is what I struggle understanding. I get its good money, but there are so many other respectable career paths they could’ve chosen. I also understand that a lot of these women may have lived underprivileged lives and have had a lot of extra struggles to work through, potentially unable to take the direct routes, like schooling. Or maybe they weren’t properly taught their options. I’m sure they all have their reasons. So, for the escorts, I don’t care, but I’m not going to respect you or your work. If I found out a man used an escort service I wouldn’t respect him either. I find the whole situation to be gross. People may feel otherwise, and that’s fine. So yeah, I support their choice to do it, just like I support people eating black licorice, but I won’t respect you cause you eat it. Or I support someone having the choice to be homosexual, but it won’t be the reason I respect you. I might respect them for other reasons, but not that.
As a woman who goes to strip clubs from time to time, my opinion on the people who pay for sex work comes down to respect. Paying for a service does not mean you own the person providing the service or that manners stop mattering just because you’re waving money around. Beyond that, I don’t think paying for sex work is disgusting at all.
For the same reason you not anti child if your anti child labour. The word escort is doing a lot of heavy lifting and obfuscation. There might be escorts out there who truly love their work and their clients but that is not representative as a whole.
I’m a woman and I think both parties are doing something really unhealthy and unnecessary, but I don’t think either should get in any kind of trouble for it.
If it makes you feel any better, I don’t believe in the double standard and am equally disgusted by both
hypocrisy
just find both disgusting and go about your day
I think it depends on the type of escort they are using. If they are using one somewhere where it is legal ,regulated and they have rights that is one thing and it’s fine with me since those escorts are their of their own free will. But the ones using the escorts where they may be trafficed and have no choice in the matter is another thing.
People should be allowed to do what they want(obviously within reason, any harm to others should be prevented by law when applicable), i don’t have to think it’s the right choice to respect their ability to choose.
As a man – I don’t know.
I think its because the men saying that think it lowers the woman’s sexual value in their eyes, and because they think that’s the only important thing about a woman. I think that same attitude is the reason for the strong objections to people being trans from these people. Would be interested to know if there are any pro trans people who shame escorts, betting there aren’t..
i think it’s vile all around. there’s way better ways to earn a living, and women shouldn’t give any part of themselves to a man ever for money.
I think both are fine. A similar question is, why are all shapes and sizes of dildo seen as absolutely fine, but a man is shunned for having a sex doll with orifices?
Interesting conundrum isn’t it?
Women maximizing what they have is ok, even if sexual. Men sexualizing women overtly is, ironically, not ok.
Some men see the woman they’re dating as a status symbol, and the hotter and more unattainable they are, the more status one receives for dating her. Women that are considered “easily won” (porn stars, sex workers, women that enjoy lots of casual encounters) are generally looked down on because other men would be less envious of their trophy because of that.
Because I don’t hate the players, I hate the game
I feel like if you asked an escort how cool other women treat them you would be very surprised
My ex threw me our of the house.
Self-righteous double standards- nothing more.
There’s rotten escorts and great escorts, just like there’s rotten clients and great clients. Each one is an individual person with their own reasons for engaging in this particular activity. Outdated stereotypes and a one-size-fits-all philosophy regarding sex work simply doesn’t stand up in the real world.
Because women support women, not men.
also what are the DEI policies on escorting
If people can use poverty, drugs etc as a reason to sell sex, then what are the reason for men to buy sex? Is it because they are inherently ”bad” people who do it for their own pleasure or is it because they’ve been raised to treat women in a certain way or have underlying issues making them pursue sex in this way? Always just trying to empathize with one side of an issue will never solve it, it will just polarize peoples opinions even more.
Because hypocrisy
I’ve met a former sex worker. She told me most of her clients were married men, and quite a few liked it when she acted like their daughter. Some raped her (inb4 “but she agreed!” : no. Going outside of the scope of the contract is rape)
I understand her dislike of her clients.
“Man bad, woman good”
That’s literally it. If the gender split of escorts & their clientele was 50/50 men and woman, I can assure you this wouldn’t be a thing.
I’m not sure why anyone is surprised by this?!?
I do not want to sleep with the sex worker either 😂
I am “okay” with both parties choosing to make that arrangement…
but they are not compatible with me.
Misandry.
The ones that are most staunchly homophobic are usually those deepest in the closet;
Ones that are cast the most moral judgement on escorts are probably prime clientele for said escorts.
Because they’re not actually okay with it, but they’re just giving a safe public opinion. You can tell when a woman says something like “She can do it, but I never would” that shes just hiding her real opinion to avoid scrutiny
Your question is based on a biased and mistaken premise. Not good faith question.