I’m 25, female. I feel like it’s almost everyday where someone will come up and ask if I’m okay.. just happened today when a worker at the dollar store as soon as walked up, I was smiling and acting normal as far as I know she said “are you okay sweetheart??” I said yes, then she asked twice if I was sure.
Then the other night I was walking home from work, a guy came up asking if I was ok, I said yes, he also asked multiple times if I was sure and didn’t seem like he believed me.
I’m just wondering what would make you guys ask another adult if they’re okay? I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I’m giving the impression that there’s something wrong with me.. and it’s only happened since 22+, before that I can’t name a single time it happened but I wasn’t out alone as much I guess. I have been going through some stuff recently, but this has been happening for a while and I don’t understand
Typo in the title I meant If!!
Comments
Say, “Why do you ask?”
Maybe your vibe seems a bit off or worried without you realizing it, especially if you’re going through stuff. People probably just want to make sure you’re safe. It’s not about you being “wrong,” just their way of showing concern.
Sometimes happens when you have resting bitch face. Other people think something is the matter and it is just your neutral expression.
“I was smiling and acting normal as far as I know…”
If you don’t mind me asking: are you in fact okay?
Not trying to be nosy… but did something happen when you were 22 years old that might have made an impact on you, and about which you may be unaware?
You have resting bitch face…. I do too and I get this all the time. It’s annoying but they are just trying to be nice
Resting ennui face.
Better than resting bitch face I guess.
You could always ask for a hug and make their day as they walk away patting themselves on the back for helping a stranger all while you were the one spreading joy.
Keep asking. Tell the next person that people always say it and ask them please tell you why.
Do you have a sad expression on your face?
Maybe you look like you need help . Visit a doctor or take a break from work
Ask them why they are asking you that? Maybe they see something you cannot
I’m a friendly, outgoing person who was extremely surprised when (at a performance evaluation at work) I was told that some ppl found me “unapproachable.” I totally didn’t get it until I thought about it:
I suffer chronic pain most of the day. Before I went on disability, I endured that pain 24/7 but continued to do my job as expected. What I didn’t realize is that I was probably walking around with a grimace or a frown, reacting naturally to how my body feels. It took me a minute to discover that.
I learned to fake it which many of us must do every day, so as not to look grumpy or mean.
Try to be aware of your facial expressions while you’re out in public and see what happens.
I’ll ask a stranger that (maybe) if they look wobbly, pale and perspiring, cyanotic or jaundiced or disoriented. But the I worked in health care so I notice things like that. Are you really anemic or anything?
Never hurts to ask.
There are people who genuinely care and notice you are having a hard time. I can tell when someone is upset or lost in their thoughts. It’s body language and how their eyes look. There are times when I feel a need to say something. I’m also a very pale person, and sometimes people ask if I’m okay.
Perhaps you look like saddest girl in the world to ever hold a martini? Use it to your advantage!!
Honestly, it’s better than being ignored. It’s nice that people care. Maybe you think you’re smiling but there might be something in your expression that inspires concern?
You prob have a concerned upset look on your face, maybe very sad looking . My dad in law always used to tell me I would look prettier if I smiled . I hated him and couldn’t fake it . Boys language is strong and everything !
Hope things work out for you 🙂
I get this a lot too. I also have audhd and bipolar 1 so my body language sometimes doesn’t match what I am actually feeling.
What happened in the 21st or 22nd year of your life? If you don’t mind answering… edit to add: I read about your mom. This is very much it. I felt that way when my dad passed, trying to project ‘okay ness’ when I wasn’t ok and the universe would send people who could see right thru the half smile. Grief comes and goes, but allow it time to be expressed, don’t stuff it down. Hugs.
I’d only ask this if someone appeared to be in distress of some type (crying, shaking, afraid, ill, etc)
You ok?
When I space out or am thinking hard (and I space out a lot) that is when people ask me