I’m a 36 year old man and I broke up with my ex of 5 years, 2 years ago. I can’t stop thinking about her no matter what I do. She was no good for me I was no good for her but for some reason everything reminds me of her every… single… day. I literally wish I could scratch the memories out of my brain but the worst part is that I know she’s not thinking about me.
Anyone else dealt with this? How do you ever get over the shit and how long did it take for you? This hasn’t ever happened to me before and I’d like to be back to normal now. Thank you.
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I’m a 36 year old man and I broke up with my ex of 5 years, 2 years ago. I can’t stop thinking about her no matter what I do. She was no good for me I was no good for her but for some reason everything reminds me of her every… single… day. I literally wish I could scratch the memories out of my brain but the worst part is that I know she’s not thinking about me.
Anyone else dealt with this? How do you ever get over the shit and how long did it take for you? This hasn’t ever happened to me before and I’d like to be back to normal now. Thank you.
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Going through this rn. Its exhausting.
Define move on…
There are some people you will never fully get out of your mind. They were a big part of your life. However, you will eventually move on and realize you are better off without them.
Get into therapy ASAP
Get therapy.
Emotional abuse is not something that only affects women. Women are capable of doing anything, including narcissistic behaviors, gaslighting, and emotional blackmail. A lot are REALLY good at it. Only until you are able to process through what your ex did this will you be capable of managing healthy relationships again and trusting anyone fully.
I wrote a bunch of notes and even text messages about what I was feeling. Never sent them but I wish I did it earlier cause it did help.
Wow!! 2 years ago is a little too long to be fixated on an ex. Maybe you feel this way because you lack self esteem and don’t believe you could find another woman. Maybe you need therapy to get down to the bottom of this. I bet it has more to do with you than your ex. I’ll even go as far to say you don’t really love her anymore. You want a new relationship but you don’t have the self esteem to pursue it, so you run back to the familiar.
If you find out let me know lol
Talk to chatgpt, tell it everything in detail, and do what it says.
If it fails miserably then get a human to do the same thing
Move the fuck on.
I estimate that it takes half as long as you dated to really start putting someone in the past. Humans are creatures of habit, and a habit can be thinking about an ex girlfriend.
I know this maybe downvoted…. But please go and try to find her, get her back, have a good go together and if you fail, at the end of your life you know you have tried your best. Don’t be regretting in your deathbed still thinking about her and thinking what if. You guys not good for each other was then and it was just circumstances. Your brain and body knows whom you truely love and is trying to tell you.
It’s ok. I am going through something similar and you just miss the good parts but just think about how she wasn’t good for you. Don’t talk about her anymore and distract yourself when she pops into your head.
Work on yourself and go out to meet or hang out with other women. Eventually you’ll find someone else even if she’s not an official girlfriend and realize there’s many better options than your ex. When you make one your new gf, you will most likely not miss your ex and instead be grateful to not be with her. Even after dates you’ll realize you’re actually blessed.
5 years is a long time. Almost 1/6th of your life. You’ll never forget her. Heck, I’m almost 15 years removed from my high school girlfriend, and stuff still reminds me of her a couple times a month, at least. That wasn’t even a “real” relationship.
A common rule of thumb I’ve heard is that you’ll need about the same amount of time you were with her to heal.
More times than most it is that you saw the person she could have been and were hoping she would be! As I’m sure you are aware….no matter the level of effort a person puts into another they rarely become the partner they wanted and needed.
Hang in there OP and check out therapy and see if that helps!
Yeaaaaa 2 years is a bit long to keep that going. Just find more distractions for yourself that are healthy hobbies/activities. I find myself playing more music, meeting new people in bands and just getting out of my apartment helps with my recent breakup from over a month ago. As far as therapy, can’t recommend it since I’ve never tried. Heard good things from others though
Bro, some connections are with the soul only. And if you are still stuck with her, then your mind is probably not that occupied, or maybe you are not letting her go from your mind. It happens, buddy. Erase all the memories associated with her and you will be slowly moving yourself. Once your brain finds that there is no clue of her in front of your eyes then it will start working on your body and soul to heal everything fast. Delete photos, memories, number, and block her everywhere.
Then start hanging out with your friends, or you can try something that excites you from your childhood, because we are all just full-grown children with responsibilities. So whatever gives you happiness at that time, be it video games, cycling, walking in the park, or long drives, just do it, man and let her go from your brain.
I haven’t been fixated on my ex until I had a dream about her and her daughter recently. It’s resurfaced every feeling I’ve ever had for this woman. I plan to schedule therapy this week.
Bro same issue. I have no clue and it’s killing me. I’ll break down and call and text her every couple months to try to salvage it and I just get my heart rebroken every single time.
She was truly a horrible partner to me too so I have no clue why I’m so bonded to her. Probably the addiction to the trauma and codependency she created between us. Absolutely insane how the human mind works.
What have you been doing since then? Are you making the effort to get back out there? Just even casual dating or meeting new people?
You’ve got to make the effort to get back out there and at least start socializing with others, pick up some new hobbies, read, gym, bars, social gatherings, whatever.
As soon as you start meeting other people… not just “the one”… you’ll feel a lot better and be able to move on with your life.
You can’t dwell on the past, you need to always look forward, the past will hold you back so just work on yourself and the future, work on the person you want to be.
Might be a demon brother
I had this too. Bad relationship to put it lightly, even had some emdr sessions. Still thought about her for a long time. What I learned was there is no shortcut, you just have to go through it sort of. At least for me that was the case. I tried to find distractions, like new hobbies, friends, working out, stuff like that. Oh and definately don’t talk to her. Good luck dude, you’ll be fine. Give it some more time.
Are you still in contact with her in any way (even just being friends on social media)?
You need to cut off ALL contact and then remove all of the “souvenirs”. Get rid of all her pictures, messages and anything she gave you as a gift.
Become better. Active self improvement. Lift weights, read/write books, more hobbies, etc.
You have to sacrifice who you are to become someone better. To change, to make room for growth. You burn yourself, eventually you burn off the part that feels the pain.
It’s not even about her but about the idea of her. It’s something close to limerence.
I always feel that the last ex you’ve had Is unfortunately the one that will stick to your brain the hardest since it was probably the last time you were in a relationship, believe I still think about my last one and it’s been 9 years now.
And idk I just try distract myself as best as I can.
Hey brother you just gotta grieve and heal yourself from that situation. You’ll never forget her, but the pain will subside and become very little as you continue to grow and heal. You should give therapy a try man. It’ll help you during the process so you can pick up the pieces.
Best way to get over someone is get under someone
Feeling the same way brother.
I can’t get myself to date others as I feel like I have a lot of self improvement to do, but can’t help but feel lonely missing her. I already workout so I am trying to pick up new hobbies. I started going on long walks, and am currently transitioning into become a runner, I want to try to run 5k, 10k, half-marathon’s then a full marathon. I also got a new job that needs me in person everyday so I’m hoping theses things will slowly distract me from the fact that I miss something that simply wasn’t good for me.
TL:DR – Focus your mind to be somewhere else. pick up engaging hobbies and do things that make you got outside and socialize.
Feel so low – porcupine tree. I m sure you will relate. I’d say travel and meet people get new perspective ? If a new situation happens – great if no well you ll have new perspective at the very least