Fortunately I had a great childhood. I grew up with my dad, for my parents separated when I was born. Nonetheless, I had a great childhood. I never suffered abuse, bullying or any problems. My dad was like a hero to me, and enjoyed just being able to play video games and live with him. For some reason, just living with him gave me peace. Now that I am older when I go visit him I somehow feel happy just by being with him. Besides that, ever since I started growing up I haven’t felt the same. My childhood was maybe too good that it now overshadows my life. I spent my childhood having fun. Playing video games, talking with my dad, going out with friends, playing soccer, etc. Happiness was everywhere, and I do not remember having a bad day. If you ask me today what I would wish for, it would be to be a kid for one day again.
Most people can grow into adulthood fairly. However, I cannot seem to do that. Being an adult should still be able to be fun. I miss my dad, friends, and how simple things were. I did not have to worry about a lot of things, and happiness was everywhere. Hell, I believe I would have had fun with a stick and a rock. Maybe I romanticize those days too much, but to me growing up was like getting out of a bubble. Now I just work, go home, and then mindlessly watch shows to pass time. I do not feel like I am actively living or having fun. Hobbies like video games got old, not even that fills that dull feeling. Why do I feel this way? Why can’t I seem to transition into adulthood like most people do.
Why can’t I transition into adulthood?
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Fortunately I had a great childhood. I grew up with my dad, for my parents separated when I was born. Nonetheless, I had a great childhood. I never suffered abuse, bullying or any problems. My dad was like a hero to me, and enjoyed just being able to play video games and live with him. For some reason, just living with him gave me peace. Now that I am older when I go visit him I somehow feel happy just by being with him. Besides that, ever since I started growing up I haven’t felt the same. My childhood was maybe too good that it now overshadows my life. I spent my childhood having fun. Playing video games, talking with my dad, going out with friends, playing soccer, etc. Happiness was everywhere, and I do not remember having a bad day. If you ask me today what I would wish for, it would be to be a kid for one day again.
Most people can grow into adulthood fairly. However, I cannot seem to do that. Being an adult should still be able to be fun. I miss my dad, friends, and how simple things were. I did not have to worry about a lot of things, and happiness was everywhere. Hell, I believe I would have had fun with a stick and a rock. Maybe I romanticize those days too much, but to me growing up was like getting out of a bubble. Now I just work, go home, and then mindlessly watch shows to pass time. I do not feel like I am actively living or having fun. Hobbies like video games got old, not even that fills that dull feeling. Why do I feel this way? Why can’t I seem to transition into adulthood like most people do.
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I mean what are your goals? Do you want to travel do you want to study do you want a girlfriend? Ngl childhood is so much better than adult life so it’s normal you feel like that. I say start with small goals maybe pick up a hobby(soccer). I also want to ask your age as it’s important in this context
Truth is, what you see of other people and what they truly experience and how they feel probably don’t align. You might be surprised to know that many more people are suffering with these feelings than you expect and a lot of it is quite normal. You have hit the nail on the head in that now you have things to worry about but I think your biggest worry seems to be about meaningful experience.
While it’s all fairly normal to feel, when it becomes problematic, I think you might need to consider that you are depressed or at least go talk to someone about your feelings. In a way, I think you are grieving your childhood.
Another thing to consider is that an idyllic childhood does not necessarily emotionally prepare you for life or give you a resilient emotional framework. This can create guilt when you engage in ‘meaningless’ activities and you may actually find you experience elements of ’emotional neglect’ through your childhood. A book called ‘running on empty’ might help process this.
Finally, try and ditch the time sinks for more meaningful activities. Try and understand why you feel no meaning from activities you engage in and work towards finding activities that do create meaning. These might be sleeping more, working out, meditating, socializing, making things, sports teams, board game nights, meetups. Find something that appeals and lean into it.
There’s no transition or should I say easy transition. It’s all about how your parent(s) interact with you. I was on my own by 16. My childhood wasn’t terrible, but I like being alone so when I got a job I left.
Short answer: capitalism
Long answer: capitalism and it’s different for everyone.
“Now I just work, go home, and then mindlessly watch shows to pass time.”
This is how capitalism wants people to behave. Finding happiness will help break this cycle, but the cycle moves forward with time and we can’t go back to simpler times.
Sounds like it’s a bit of romanticism of the past, which is normal for everyone., but honestly it sounds like you’re just stuck in a bit of a rut. I get like that too from time to time, and I’m into my 40’s. times like that are when I realize I need a change, instead of playing games, I’ll get stuck into a book, or start going for walks in the evening. Get a library card, they’re gems, and about the last place in the world today where there is no obligation to spend money.
As much as it sucks to say, you don’t just magically turn into an adult. I still feel like an 18 year old kid most days, I still play games, I hang out with my kids. And those are important, but so is making time for yourself.
I love your honesty and self-reflection. As someone who’s been through a similar transition, I’d say that having fun and being content isn’t really what life is all about. True satisfaction comes with growing as a person and in order to grow, we must put ourselves outside our comfort zone. It might seem impossible to live an authentic life outside of work hours, but it is possible for anyone who really wants it. It’s something that requires growing into. Now, I work on my fantasy books before work every day and do a variety of things after, even though it seemed impossible when I was 25. Find something you care enough about to be disciplined for and you’ll feel your life improve significantly.
It’s easy to enjoy things as a kid because your mind and your life was simple. If you were a kid again, you’d be “happy” but you wouldn’t be able to appreciate it because you wouldn’t have a fully developed brain and life experience to fully enjoy the happiness. You are turning into an adult, you no longer find simple things fun or entertaining, but you also haven’t yet learned how to enjoy being an adult.
As a Dad I can tell you that your Dad misses those days too. At one point, he was where you are before you existed. You’ll have a chance to live the other side of it and give your kid(s) a great childhood and it can be even better than being the kid. For now focus on building whatever career and relationships help you lay the foundation for that.