My boyfriend and I went to a party last night that a friend of ours was hosting. My boyfriend’s friends showed up and so did mine. Everyone was drinking and having fun in different locations of this house, and during this particular conversation I was on the balcony with my friend and a few of my boyfriend’s friends.
Somehow we got on the conversation of one of my boyfriend’s friends shooting his shot at a particular girl that was at this party, and he says he doesn’t go after bigger girls, but my boyfriend does. He then mentions he only likes skinny/petite women. The same friend turned to me and said “I’m surprised (my boyfriend’s name) changed his type and is dating someone like you”
I was taken aback, drunk, and a bit confused by what he had said. During this conversation I found out I am the first girl my boyfriend has dated who is not “bigger” or “thick” and his friend explained my boyfriend would always brag about bigger girls being better in certain ways (ass and tits) and my friend and I decided to leave mid conversation because she could tell I was getting uncomfortable.
She told me not to think too much about it because I am an overthinker, and I kind of want to talk to my boyfriend about it just to ease my mind? Not sure how to handle that information that was told to me.
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His friend is an idiot.
If your boyfriend was dating someone in the past that his friend didn’t approve of, it would make sense your boyfriend would brag about the qualities he liked about her to “argue back” or whatever.
It’s also entirely possible that your boyfriend is attracted to more than one “type” and also entirely possible that your boyfriend values personality over superficial body types.
I might suggest you keep in that 1) a drunk person said these things, 2) that drink person was not talking about themselves but making assumptions about another person.
Yeah, talk to your boyfriend, just to get it out of your head, but I would def let that friend’s little story time there reflect more on the friend than the boyfriend.
My type has always been shorter men (5’8″, 5’9″, even shorter, I am 5’2″) dark hair and around my age. I ended up marrying a man who was 6 feet tall and 8 years older than I am and loved him until he died of s hesrt attack. Your type is not always your type. His friend is an idiot. Don’t listen to him.
It’s also a probability the friend is trying to start trouble
The “friend” sounds like a jerk and isn’t a friend. I look nothing like my husbands ex girlfriends as an example and nor he like anyone I have dated. He chose me and I him and here we are many years later and I still think he’s the sexiest man period. Don’t overthink it- he chose you 🙂
Guys who talk about their “types” and it’s all physical attributes are losers and their opinions mean nothing.
Your bf has dated girls of various physical attributes and it’s likely he has said positive things about his gf’s bodies to defend himself dating women with a little more weight on them to this shallow insta-model addict friend, who probably was calling your bf a chubby chaser or something. I think the friend took that as your bf saying that bf’s “types” was curvier girls.
Because when this friend talks about girls, he’s talking about rigidly requiring certain “types” of physical attributes and prohibiting others, whereas your bf was more likely just saying he’s happy with a woman he meshes with regardless of whether she fits into a rigid “type.”
I think this says a lot more about this sleazy sounding friend than it says about your bf.
So sure, talk to your bf about how weird his friend is about his rigid “types” requirements, and how he ascribes such rigid thinking to other men and can’t imaging a man being less shallow and looks obsessed as him.
Your “type” is just someone that catches your eye. Your person is the one who loves you for you and everything about you.
My “type” are petite brunettes with long hair. The love of my life of 40 years is a 5’8″ curvy blonde. Don’t overthink it.
You can tell your boyfriend his friend was being rude or made you uncomfortable that is perfectly fine, but don’t try to dissect his word and make some weird complex issue about his types and choice and what he likes etc his friend said that. Not your boyfriend so forget about that part. That isn’t real information it’s hearsay
I would talk to your bf but be careful not to sound accusatory at first. Who knows how his “friend” blew things out of proportion to make him sound bad. Also keep in mind, that guy was def shooting his own shot with you behind your bfs back. I’m 99% sure. In guy world that’s a fcked up thing to say to another guys gf. Greedy ssa mf
The friend is an idiot. But what exactly do you think will ease your mind? And what exactly are you needing to be eased about? They’re his preferences. They are allowed to morph, change or stay the same for anything in life, including women. Do not start something for nothing. You will regret the outcome. Nothing good will come from a convo about HIS preferences dictated by others, including you.
Pretty fucked up way of giving you a compliment. How much he’d had to drink depends on if you need to talk about this.
Talk to your boyfriend about it. His friend is either dumb, or was probably trying to make a pass at you or something. I’ve had weirdo guys say stuff to me like that in the past, but then try to shoot their shot at me after.
This is just drunken idiot talk. Most people do not have a “type” but the drunken idiot friend couldn’t handle that sort of reality so he’s making shit up because he’s jealous of his friend (your bf)
It’s a combination of negging, being immature and categorising women by body type, not being able to talk to women like fellow humans, and being competitive with male friends about the women they sleep with like it’s all a big game. He probably also thought it was fun to mess with you. You’re 23. Is this the first one of these losers you’ve ever met? Huh maybe things are getting better.
Sounds like the guy may have the hots for you or at the very least is jealous your bf pulled you either way the guy is idiot and I wouldn’t think to much into it. We don’t always end up with our ideal type. My husband wasn’t my ” type” and yet I fell in love and am still happy after over a decade of marriage. Don’t let a drunk moron make you feel any type of way. Stop letting him rent space in your head for free. My husband loved the goth look that isn’t me I look more like a school teacher pretty conservative honestly but at the end of the day it’s better you know the person you love , loved you for you and not something as shallow as looks because looks fade. You can discuss your ideal types of you want but, it won’t change anything except maybe make you doubt things and if you have no reason to doubt your relationship then don’t let other people put the doubts there.
Don’t ask. He’s with you.
Drunk words are sober thoughts” so there is some truth to what the person said. Perhaps your bust and bottom fit his preferences or perhaps you are an anomaly. Since you are still dating your bf he is not likely to say anything negative about you.
It sounds like he was trying to make you self conscious, and to doubt your relationship, for some reason.
It could be that he finds you attractive, and he wants to make you think that eventually your bf will leave you, for “his type” so he can swoop in .
It could also be that he doesn’t like you, and is just trying to get rid of you in general
Talk to your bf about what his friend said, and ask him if he thinks his friend was trying to cause problems.
Updateme
Why? Because they’re unkind and inconsiderate?! Don’t think past their nose? Who knows.
Some people can’t stand to see other people happy when they’re miserable. He either has a crush on you, or envies your boyfriend, so tried to inject a bad seed of doubt.
The right thing to do would be to have a conversation with your boyfriend, explaining what happened and how it made you feel. It is clearly bothering you enough to ask people on Reddit. Also it doesn’t really matter if he used to date big people or not, because he’s clearly dating you now.
How did you meet your bf?
Yea talk to your boyfriend. My advice would be to just give him the story. Tell him what was said but offer no opinion of your own and just wait. See what he has to say before jumping to any kind of conclusion. At the very least he deserves to know how much of a moron his friend is. And remember that alcohol never makes you say what you don’t mean, it just removes the filter.
Tires as we mature and learn that there is a person inside that type, and eventually you learn that the person inside is much more crucial to the quality of the relationship than the nature of the vessel they reside in. Hopefully your bf has learned that lesson and course you for who you are, his friend still has a major life lesson to learn.
Men can be physically attracted to women. In order to stay together and have a LTR, there has to be more than physical attraction.
Has your BF given you any reason to dought that he is attracted to you?
If not, don’t overreact to his friends comment.
Your BF could easily be physically attracted to you, while at the same time, being blown away by your personality.
Just enjoy your relationship, especially if your BF is treating you right.
Sounds like someone was trying to shoot his shot by sowing seeds of discord.
I would pay it no mind but I would talk to bf about it. Just in case.
Who needs enemies when you have friends like that?
Don’t listen to the friend. He probably wanted in your pants.
Your boyfriends past doesn’t matter. He is dating you and honestly, I wouldn’t even bother thinking into his past hookups/relationships more than you have at this point.
I tend to think that when someone chooses a person who’s outside of their normal kind of dating pool, that means they feel for who you really are and the looks are secondary.
Tell your boyfriend. Think about why would he talk to you about this? He is trying to start trouble and being shitty friend trying to create doubt in yourself. And what your boyfriend said in the past is nothing wrong nor something to worry about like the other commenters are saying.
You are focusing in the wrong thing, what he said, instead of why he said it.
I had a certain type of woman that I was attracted to when I was growing up/20’s…
My now wife rolled in like a hurricane, made me forget that type, and took over the #1 type position… and I’ve never looked back.
So don’t worry about what was said. You won him over.