Why did my husband (30M) say this to me (29F) when drunk?

r/

Tonight my husband was drinking a considerable amount. He was quite drunk and started talking about how much he loves me and that he will always love me. He gets emotional when he’s drunk, but he usually doesn’t talk about his feelings much other than a basic “I love you.” He told me that we will never separate because we’ve been through so much, and that I’m not just a woman but a life to him. Then he said I mean so much to him and I’m his best friend and all that stuff. It’s what he said next that made me question things. He said, “I would never cheat on you. Even though we both could. It’s tempting. We both have phones and internet. But I would never cheat. I value our marriage together.” I just thought his tangent about phones and internet was very strange. It almost seemed like he had explored that before. We have had a lot of ups and downs in our marriage. We’ve been married for 10 years, and we have 3 kids. It’s been very hard at times. Does it sound like he had considered cheating before?

Comments

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  2. No_Pear_6069 Avatar

    Sounds like someone maybe made him an offer and he turned it down. I always say the truth comes out with alcohol so although it sounds weird, I would sweat it personally

  3. BytesSWE Avatar

    Probably his way of telling you he wouldn’t do it and hopes you wouldn’t either even though you both “could” in his eyes. Sounds like he just loves you and doesn’t want to lose you tbh.

  4. Reasonable-Ant5913 Avatar

    Not to me. It sounds like he sees the internet and maybe he’s seeing attractive women on there (instagram pushes that type of content even if you don’t like it) or people being in a “happy relationship”for the camera, he’s saying even with all this “temptation around” he wouldn’t break what he has built with you. If anything I would trust his more especially since he was drunk. Drunk mind sober thoughts.

  5. Silly-Goose-9934 Avatar

    I think it just means he was tempted before but he didn’t do anything actually. “Phone” and “Internet” are the two most essential things in our daily lives and the primary tools for a slippery slope of cheating. So I don’t think that means he did anything. Maybe he deviled with the idea that this device in his hand can lead him to that but he’s never actually done it.

  6. Somegirl105 Avatar

    Honestly sounds like he’s just making the statement because he’s thought about it and how easy it could be but hearing it is uncomfortable. Not to add any red flags cuz this is reddits favorite thing but just be careful with him seeing how much he can explore without crossing that line. Dragging on about how he could cheat but wouldn’t def means he might see how far he can go without doing it if any hard times or boredom. (Speaking from experience) it’s a slippery slope. As of now tho don’t freak out and just ask him when he’s sober what he meant to too elaborate

  7. GenoFlower Avatar

    I mean, he could have had a convo with a buddy who’s cheating, or they know someone who knows’s someone who’s cheating, and it somehow ended up with your husband emotionally and drunkenly reassuring you that it won’t happen.

    Maybe he had an offer. Maybe he read an article or saw something on TV.

    I wouldn’t read too much into it, other than he really loves you and isn’t going to cheat on you.

  8. eastsunsetblvd Avatar

    I don’t know if he considered actually cheating before but I guess he did look/search or had online contacts before.

    He literally said ‘it’s temping’. So at least for him that’s tempting (and he assumes that’s also the case for you).

  9. mrr2121 Avatar

    it lowkey sounds like he did cheat maybe online or was very tempted to and he’s drunk and feels guilty that he might get caught and is trying to make it seem like he would NEVERRR do that.. at least that’s how my exs would act

  10. ConfectionLogical575 Avatar

    Yes he told you himself he saw it as tempting, at least at one point. And it could still be tempting for him in the present tense. Whether or not he would consider this temptation as something on his radar for doing is unknown to me. I assume he would not consider doing it but as this decision was made with difficulty but it has been made, he is hoping that you will share his perspective that even if you are tempted you are committed solely to him and won’t cheat.