Let’s be specific, have you ever been in a relationship where you haven’t been attracted to your partner’s body from the beginning? What was your reasoning as to why you continued the relationship and how long did it last?
Why did you date a woman whose body you weren’t necessarily attracted to?
r/AskMen
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No.
She can stray further away from my tastes but if I love her, her look doesn’t matter that much either as long as it’s still reasonable tbh
Because the had a nice face
She liked me back.
I wouldn’t even ask her on the date if I didn’t find her physically attractive from the start. Why would I torture myself by being with a woman that I’m not attracted to? No reason for me to be that desperate. Besides all I’d be doing is hurting said woman. She’s going to pick up on that the desire isn’t there. Down the line issues will pop up. You can’t fake the funk forever…..your eyes, soul, and actions will snitch on you.
I was young and dumb (in middle school) and I wanted a girlfriend. She was the only one that liked me.
I’ve chosen to date women I’d consider less attractive than those I’d previously dated but never anyone I find unattractive
Filter by looks, sort by personality
Because we became really good friends and then I fell in love with her personality, and then in very quick order my initial attraction didn’t matter because she revved my engine up anyways because of the emotional connection. And then none of it mattered because it was a bad fit emotionally and we broke up before we moved from being friends that happened to refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend to anything really romantic. Ah well.
Generally speaking I would not, in my opinion strong mutual sexual attraction is one of the most important aspects of a relationship.
She was a pleasure to be around and had a relaxing and grounding kind of personality. So eventually I found her body more attractive the more we hung out together.
I wouldn’t date / haven’t dated a woman who I was not attracted to both body and personality.
I may be friends with a woman I’m not attracted to, unless our personalities collide to a point that friendship is not a possibility.
Also, I wouldn’t enter into a relationship (which is dating?) with a woman whose body I was attracted to, but our personalities collide.
I was stupid and thought that I had such bad luck with women my type and tried dating someone who had a fantastic personality that matched with mine like no other but I was not attracted to her body at all.
It was the worst relationship I had.
I couldn’t even kiss her without feeling sick, it was the same to me as if I was told to kiss a man.
Luckily I learned that lesson fast and we separated with no hard feelings.
The 80% was there. Body can be improved over time.
I didn’t.
Because nobody is 100% of the things you like. Same reason some people accept a bad personality if the looks are on point.
I’ve done this twice. The first time, it wasn’t necessarily a turn off, but she wasn’t what I typically would have considered attractive. It was only a short term fling that lasted a few months and I liked her personality enough to want to continue dating her anyway. Best decision of my dating life by far was choosing to date her despite not being fully attracted to her physically.
The second one… Well, I guess it didn’t bug me enough to say no lol. we were fuck buddies for like a month or two (shorter than the previous one) and then it kinda just fizzled.
Interesting views from men
It was more so her face, however, I didn’t like her manky feet either. I stupidly settled on an older woman I thought was sweet and loving, but she was in fact a frustrating, ditzy, selfish, little manipulator. I was in a bad place at the time we dated, and overlooked her looks. Luckily, my amazingly beautiful wife helped me dump her and escape!
Because I loved everything else about her. All of our bodies are going to fall apart, eventually. Does she love you and make you happy? Is the sex good? Does she check all boxes aside from just her body? A mature man needs to realize that you or your girl could get cancer or be burned in a fire. If your connection isn’t beyond superficial, then you’re probably not really mature enough for an adult relationship anyway. Just be single and have sex with strangers when you need it.
Something that doesn’t quite age is her smile and her smell. If you like those, you’re golden.
Sometimes we dont want to break someones heart
Poly situation. She was a very good friend. She asked me out and was super into me. Then it turned out she was amazingly orgasmic and LOVED sex. We dated 6 years.
Reason? I am not the shallow asshole, you appear to be.
I wanted to have experience with a variety under my belt.
I was sold this idea that putting too much emphasis on their body (looks) was superficial, shallow and made me a jerk.
No
She was amazing and we fit very well together, bodies change but a pure heart doesn’t.
I think that I was in love – not with her, but with being in love. It lasted about 2 years.
Rebuilding
Went toe to toe with my party/drinking phase
She was a sweetheart who checked everything for me mentally. Sadly that was the relationship that made me realize physical attraction is really impossible to compromise on.
Well people don’t always have the option to date those they are attracted to. I am lucky enough to have any left like me. I certainly don’t have my pick.
Sometimes even if you want X, you’re only going to get Y. The choice is not wait out for X. It’s nothing or Y. So many people pick.Y.
I dated these women because I wanted to date and wanted to like them. All the women I’ve dated I wanted to like and wanted to desire. I just didn’t. In fact I’ve never even Come close to interacting with a lady I’m sexually attracted to. Now that I’m older urge is gone for the most part.
Never have never will
Because we got along and she liked a lot of the same things I did.
Attraction is more than just physical looks.
Because I’m not a cringey superficial asshat.
Personality is far more important
I was stupid. Not being attracted to someone but going out with them is just going to end in disaster. Nothing justifies this and it’ll just end up in heartbreak for one or both parties. Just dont do it.
In short, at the time it was an easy f*ck.
I’m dating one now. She’s attractive but I’m not crazy about her, it’s just little things.
That said she’s in my area for a short time and I was clear about what it was from the start, not permanent or long term. We’re not a great fit but the company is wonderful to have.
I’m very grateful that we have fun together, and I like to think we’re what each other needs at this point in our lives.
10yrs.
Great personality, pro active, intelligent, caring.
She couldn’t help the body, the rest she excelled.
Because she used to be hot before Covid so I’m trying to get her back in shape.
She has beautiful face and lovely personality
Needing to avoid facing my pain and shame
We have a great friendship
No.
I was desperate and had no luck with girls. So if one liked me… it was a miracle.
Luckily that was in the past.
There’s a rule of thumb saying goes something like “it’s easier to lose weight then it is to gain a personality”. Partners physical appearances change all the time, but their personalities are usually same.
Hell no. I have more self respect than to hang around someone I don’t like.
Because we vibed. 11 years and counting.
I wouldn’t say I wasn’t attracted but she wasn’t nearly ideal.
I thought I could learn to like it. She was very nice and had a great personality but as we dated I noticed some things I didn’t like and it kinda stopped any idea of looking past physical stuff.
Because she was a amazing person, physical love is temporary I have changed many times throughout the years, but I’m still me, if someone only loves me because I look a certain way that’s not love, and I have grown old enough to not deal with that BS anymore.
Love me at my worst and you have me at my best, you start coming for me at my best and ignored me at my worst, you ain’t ever gonna get me.
The hot/crazy matrix is real.
Although, in my experience, most of the women I’ve dated who were conventionally attractive weren’t crazy, they just had bland, shallow, self-centered, cookie-cutter personalities and so there was little chemistry to allow the relationship to progress.
After many years of dating hot women, I finally met someone with whom I had excellent chemistry, but I wasn’t physically attracted to. She pursued me with tenacity and we ended up dating for 3 years. Things were great, but eventually, the lack of attraction was her downfall.
As with most things in life, you gotta find a balance.
I did once when I was younger it didn’t last. I tried and thought nope, I can do better.