Guys, I’m so tired. We have a family wedding. On the brides side, the bride is doing all the hard work.
On the groom side, it’s my mom but since she’s much older, she’s enlisted my help.
And then the fact that I’m not close to my brother makes this harder. Our relationship is strained. Hes made no effort to amend it.
I am helping my mom and dad with what they need to get done. But things that should fall on him, come to me first. I have to really put my foot down and tell them no, I am not doing it. That should be his responsibility.
I’m exhausted. And it’s still ways away.
And then the actual wedding. I’m dreading it. I don’t want socialize . I don’t want to be away from home. It’s one thing if I go as a guest but family have so many small things.
How do you do it?? I don’t have stress management skills for this.
Comments
Dudes are embarrassingly bad at it and are aware of how bad they are at it and how embarrassing it will be if they try. But these dudes also want to maintain whatever self-aggrandizing ‘alpha of the house/office’ mental fantasy they spend most of their day in.
So, to kill two birds with one stone, they make the women do it. Which lets them maintain their mental ‘alpha male status’ by assigning you a task and spares them the humiliation and public revelation that theyre, in fact, just messy, sloppy little boys inside who literally cannot conceptualize how to successfully put a tablecloth on a table. let alone plan food.
Girl. WALK AWAY. It’s not your wedding and you didn’t volunteer to help.
People treat you how you let yourself be treated – make boundaries now and people will remember.
The thing is you don’t have to do it. Women are conditioned to be pleasant and not complain growing up and you feeling the need to do any of this despite your poor relationship is a prime example of that. Break the cycle. You don’t have to do any of this. You don’t have to be nice. You don’t have to put up with anything. Do not attend. Do not help. Stay home, order delivery, & do something you enjoy.
If he is mature enough to get married, he’s mature enough to do the work to prepare for the wedding. You don’t have to help. Say no and keep saying no until they stop asking.