Why do incels accuse us of using our looks to have power over men, or to get what we want? Occasionally when I’m in an argument online with one they’ll just accuse me of this, sometimes not even seeing a photo of me or knowing what I look like but I see them saying it to women in general. It’s utterly delusional.
Other than blatant misogyny, are they just projecting that they are weak, or just insecurity????
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Because we’re objects to them and they can’t see past our physical looks. They don’t see the human being beyond the looks.
As with most things online, because they can with no consequences. You seem to think they want to have a rational discussion with you. If so, that is your first mistake.
Just remind them that they can choose not to be affected by looks.
K! This came from a book (the mad ship by Robin Hobb) and it just CLICKED for me.
Men think two things about women 1) men need sex 2) that sex is a limitless resource, therefore, women are just being greedy hoarders of a thing that men NEED and women have in abundance and can never run out of
And that I think in a nutshell is exactly why incels hate women.
My $0.02 as a guy. It’s a combination of toxic internet victimhood BS where the incel doesn’t have to own his situation, and the incels (as less attractive guys) having really bad experiences with immature junior-high/high school/undergrad “mean girls” that do proudly engage in that kind of behavior.
From there they just stereotype it onto “women” more generally because that’s human nature.
It’s so crazy. Like, how can they just… ugh! It’s like they can’t see beyond their own issues.
Because it’s what they’ve been told from “Alphas” and what not, Women are always bad, Men are always innocent no matter what.
Like even if you take a second to think of it, you realize there’s just no logic to their thoughts.
Here they accuse women of “using looks” to have power over men/get what we want, yet at the same time they have no problem with men bragging about doing the exact same thing.
Incels externalize everything.
There is no self-reflection, self-improvement, acknowledgement for their part in their situation, or taking responsibility for their own words and actions.
They are trapped in a prison of belief of their own making.
Yes, I leveraged my great power over men to make less money and have to fight harder for respect in my male-dominated field and still have my best work often just assumed to have been done by a man. Jig is up. Ya got me, boys!
They’re projecting because that’s what they would do.
Because those men are two-faced fucktwits pulling schrodinger woman on everyone – claiming women use looks to control & get everything from men while at same time saying women are too ugly/old/pathetic to have actual things & life without needing nor wanting anything from men.
They only see women being pursued and never women pursuing men. They assume that all women get similar amounts of attention and can thus pick and choose from a wide field of potential partners.
What I hear from women “I get creeps I’m not attracted to asking me out and being weird.”
What I hear from Incels “No-one has ever approached me or even thought I was attractive.”
Then Incels insist they’d love any woman who approached them. Keep talking to them and she has to have her own career, be a virgin, be absolutely subservient, etc etc.
They see women drowning in unwanted attention while they’re dying of thirst and blame women for the holes they put in their own cups.
Incels are obviously not happy. And it will always be easier to blame someone else for your unhappiness in part because it is easier to map out how others actions contribute to your unhappiness than it is to see how your own actions and subconscious feelings contribute. It is also easier to blame others because then you can feel like a victim. You didn’t do anything to deserve your unhappiness so you can feel righteous in your unhappiness. Nothing they can do to solve their problems so they are free from the burden of fixing them.
As an attractive woman who walked this earth for many years, I see these posts coming from desperately lonely men.
They see men buying drinks for women just for standing there and looking pretty, in the hopes for a smile back and conversation. They see men throwing money at women in order to date them in normal society or to get their favor in OnlyFans, topless bars and bars that feature scantily clad women.
They might even BE those men.
They see women with the capability as having sex with literally any man on earth while they sit there, on the computer, lonely with no woman to hold, and no prospects, either.
They can’t stand it that we have standards.
They think because we are women and have this “power” (that we usually don’t ask for unless it’s our profession) that our lives are on Easy Mode. And it eats at them, so they have only one outlet: more men to complain to and women to lash out to.
I actually feel sorry for them.
Why are you arguing with them instead of blocking and ignoring them? Once you recognize them for what they are, why not end the discussion and free up whatever real estate in your brain they were squatting in rent-free?
Their attitudes are zero-sum and their tactics reflect that. They win & you lose, every time. Their entire goal is to get and keep your attention even if it is negative attention. They want you to be thinking about what they said long after the chat is over. If they knew you were dragging rhe discussion from their forum all the way over to 2Xchromosomes to discuss them further, they’d be fucking thrilled. You’re just helping them achieve their goal when you could be spending your energy on the topics you’d rather focus your energy on. Furthermore, you’re leaving yourself open to getting in a “discussion” with one who wants “reasons” to escalate and go out and actually hurt people.
Stop feeding the sharks; they will stop swimming near you.
Budding narcissists…nothing is ever their fault and nothing should ever require them to do anything. And projection definitely like you said; they would abuse their looks or whatever to get what they want, so they assume everyone else would too (and since they are narcissists, everyone else clearly “cheated”).
It’s projection. They see an attractive woman and fawn over them and feel mesmerized by them and would give them anything just to look at their feet.
They think all men feel this way towards women, and so they assume women have absolute power and dominance over men.