Hi All,
Sorry if this is the wrong sub, but I’m feeling very vulnerable as a woman living alone and very upset at the moment, so I need a little rant.
For context, I’m 33F and I live alone with my two cats and two dogs in a small row of houses (about 7) within an industrial estate- basically a small island of residents. I’ve bought and lived in this house for about 7 months now, and bought the house of an old couple who were rather disliked by the other residents (for being nosey more than anything). But I’ve tried to build good relationships with my neighbours, and I’m pretty friendly with one side. And I had been with the house on the other side until today. My garden is largely enclosed as I don’t let one of my cats roam around, but my other cat does leave the garden as he’s always been a roamer and enjoys being out (I’m not here to discuss the cons and pros of letting your cat out).
He’s a single, older man who lives alone with his daughter’s two cats, he also smokes an ungodly amount of weed- so bad I can smell it through the walls sometimes, and I’ve never complained as whatever. We had always been friendly, and would chat if we both happened to go into the garden at the same time, he would even play with my youngest dog sometimes, and I gave him some free wood recently as I was planning to get rid of it anyway.
Anyway, today I came home from being out during the day and I leave the enclosed bit of my garden to bring my cat in so I can feed him, and my neighbour comes out asking “to have a word”. I say yes, as I’ve said, we’ve always been friendly in the past.
He then goes on a rant about how my cat has supposedly been entering his house and fighting his cats (who aren’t his and he doesn’t even know their names), and he’s only had “one hour of sleep all week”, I say I’m sorry and my cat was there at the time so I went to scald him. My neighbour then says “This isn’t funny, if you don’t do something, I will.”
I apologised again, and he went back into his house. The whole thing happened within a minute, I wasn’t snarky, or gave the impression I found it funny or fobbed him off. He didn’t want to talk about it, he wanted to intimidate me.
I’ve been crying ever since. I just don’t understand why he couldn’t calmly discuss this with me if it was such an issue, he just went straight to threatening me. I can’t help but feel if I wasn’t a woman living on my own he would have approached it differently, or probably just locked his own cat flap or something (his cats are completely free roaming). I feel so vulneranble, and I’m terrified to even let my cat in the garden for fear he’d hurt him. The couple that even owned my house before me threatened my neighbour over his cats pooping in my-now garden, so his attitude makes even less sense to me.
My Dad suggested calling the police, but I’m also worried about causing tension on my insanely small street.
I don’t even know if I’m looking for advice, or just a safe place to rant about this. I’ve had a horrible week, and this just ruined what was, for once, a good day.
Comments
He meant that he’s going to kill your cat or steal your cat and go drop it in the wilderness far away. I’ve had my tires slashed by guys like this, your body is not the target but harming you by indirect force is the goal. Which is still abusive and intimidating 100%. Your dad is right on this one, police like a paper trail and they’re going to want records of the guy abusing you cuz he’s going to keep doing it
Men start with threats because they have learned it’s how they usually get their way, and it gives them a pleasant hormone rush to feel powerful and in control.
What a sad little man he must be to feel he needs to threaten a cat.
Why? Because they think they can get away with it(and often do!).
I’ve developed a habit of calling 911 while they are threatening me. Works like a charm.
If men threaten, I match their energy. I make sure they know they picked the absolute worst person to fuck with.
I had someone block a road once in front of me. I got out of my vehicle and went up to his asking what was up and he started calling me a “stupid bitch” and told me to get back in my vehicle and turn around.
I got back in my vehicle, but then I sat there and taunted him through my window. He brought his vehicle inches within mine, revving his engine, trying to scare me.
I spread my arms wide and told that MF to come at me.
He had to stop when a semi pulled up behind me and I asked if he was going to demand the semi somehow do a U turn as well.
They’re cowards. Men like that push women around because they’re mean spirited but too cowardly to push men around.
I don’t recommend doing what I did. I have a couple of screws loose and go total kamikaze when something sets me off.