I speak Cantonese to my wife quite often when we are out. People can get really funny anout it and tut or stare. Ive heard people say its rude, but why.
im not talking to then and they have no right to listen in on my conversation.
i also heard that they are worried i might be talking about them. Seems pretty self obsessed tbh but do you want me talking about you in a language you understand?
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People think you’re talking shit about them, that’s why. You’re not, but that’s what they think.
I have no problem with strangers. But i do have a problem at work if colleagues converse in their language, when we live in an English speaking country. On breaks in the tea room? Happy for them to speak their own language. But in the general work space during work? They should speak English.
Everyone in a workspace should be inclusive of others
They don’t understand what you are saying.
Racism.
“Seems pretty self obsessed “
It is. When people live their lives judgmental and critical of others, they assume that the rest of the world is just like them.
Insecurity
Because they are stupid.
Classic “I grew up in one town and never went anywhere” behavior.
If you’re out and about and people get upset about you having a conversation in a foreign language it’s because of their racism.
If you’re in a group of people hanging out together or working together and you speak a foreign language that not everyone understands (unless of course you’re on the phone having a private conversation or stepping aside to speak to someone outside the group) it’s because you’re being rude and exclusionary.
English is the only thing they have. If you take it out of the equation, they get angry.
It depends. If you are in the street minding your own business and don’t expect people to listen to you then speak your language to hearts content. Although, you might want to be careful about laughing because some people might think you are laughing at them. Although that’s more them being self-conscious.
If you are in a place where other people can be expected to listen for example at a party then it is rude. You have to make a private conversation private.
Because they are racist or narcissistic and think you must be talking about them
Depends on the situation. If you’re doing it around strangers it’s none of their business what you speak. However, they might assume it’s about them.
If you’re doing it in a social setting while meeting with people who don’t speak your language well then it’s rude to exclude friends from a conversation in this way.
must be an american thing here in europe you hear people talk in at least 5 different languages a day
I lived in Germany for a bit and learned enough that I was functional. If I really paid attention I could usually follow a conversation. But I had to really pay attention. One distraction and I was lost.
Now I’m back in the US and when I tell you I miss being mostly unable to understand general convos in passing 🤣 it was so peaceful. 🤷🏻♀️😅
I assume that people around me are always talking about me but are just too shy to directly tell me all the nice things they think about me. I guess the people who know they’re terrible and that everyone secretly hates them have to assume that other people are saying mean things.
Do it in reverse, if people talk near you in a language that you don;’t understand, see how you’d feel..like at work, if you have 2 Portuguese speaking co-workers who speak close to you. often tines, how do you feel?
My opinion is in public, who gives a shit, but if I go to my Chinese wife’s friend’s house to hangout and they’re just speaking Chinese even though they both know English, that pisses me off. Like why even invite me then
>I speak Cantonese to my wife quite often when we are out.
>Ive heard people say its rude, but why. im not talking to then and they have no right to listen in on my conversation.
It depends on the context. If you’re at the mall having a conversation with your wife, people should mind their own business. But if you’re at a social event or something like that, it’s pretty rude to have an extensive conversation in another language.
I’ve had people at work who spoke a language I don’t speak and have conversations. I find that rude. It feels like they might be choosing to have their conversation in another language to either talk shit or, at the very least, purposely exclude me from the conversation
Cantonese people are pretty loud. They dont really have an indoor voice. Just be more quiet. They might be more mad bc the language can be obnoxiously loud by cantonese speakers.
Depends on the context. Out in public and minding your own business? Speak whatever language you want and people who stick their nose in can eat shit.
In the work place or a group setting or speaking to a non speaker of that language? That’s when it starts getting rude as you might/probably are singling out someone who doesn’t speak that language. Rudeness is context but that’s all to be said if people are being blatantly xenophobic/racist they should take a long walk off a short pier.
There was a story of an English woman on a bus over hearing a conversation in some foreign language she didn’t understand. She got up and yelled at this woman that they’re in the UK and they speak English.
She was in Wales and they were speaking welsh.
I was in Boston and a woman told me to go back to my country when speaking Spanish to my mom on the phone.
Old drunk white ladies often ask me IN MIAMI where I’m from where I’m from. Where you’re REALLY from. “Do you want the hospital room?” Like…
It’s an entitlement OVER other people.
“How dare you be multilingual when I can only speak English!?”
I think context is very important here. It depends where you are in the world and how you are using it. Having a blaring conversation that is likely not to be understood by a marity of people is rude, mostly for the fact that you are being loud and taking advantage of your language not being understood.
Makes sense to me. Maybe you’re plotting an assassination or to overthrow the country. How would we know if you don’t speak the local language? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING!?!
(Is the /s really necessary here?)
Why do we have norms and rules for behavior? Why is it rude to not bow in some countries and not to give a hand in another?
Cultural norms rarely have objective reasons; however, violations of them are considered rude. I don’t think you have to look any further than that.
Addendum.
If I were to venture a guess it would be that tribalism appears to be hardwired into the human psyche. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-reboot/202307/the-neuroscience-of-tribalism) Speaking a different language sets you outside the cultural circle you are surrounded by.
Some people speak much more loudly in their native language than they realize. Living in a Western European country, I can attest to people staring at North Americans for example, not because we mind them speaking English, but because they speak rather loudly in general, while they’re unaware. There are other languages which this applies to as well.
It is rude. When i do it.. its 100% to be rude there is no other purpose, youre not fooling me or anyone else stop pretending
All you people saying this is racism don’t have two brain cells to rub together between you. Simple fact is, people finding this annoying or rude does not necessarily mean they’re racist or being racist.
If you want to test that, swap out Cantonese for French, Italian or Czech. Same race, same reaction.
OP, I’m sorry you get this reaction, but all these comments saying the person tutting is being racist is just going to make you feel like you’re a victim of racism when it may be very far from the truth.
Depends on where you are I guess, and who is speaking “foreign”.
Tourists? Makes sense thst they speak what they speak to themselves. Their tourists! Fun if they speak even a single word of the local Language.
People who are obviously in-country for the long haul? Go learn the language, not doing that is just bad, for many and varied reasons but they boil down to looking disrespectfull/lazy/useless to the local population. So that’s probably the thing you describe as rude.
As to people shout racist!!!1!one!!!
They are over simplifying things as usual on reddit.
It’s only rude if you’re leaving people in your group out. Or if you’re talking shit undercover.
I speak Greek with my sister all the time when I visit her in the US. I think it really depends on the context, if we are at an event or just going out with other people, then we don’t speak Greek if they can’t understand it, because it is rude.
If it’s just the two of us at a restaurant or something, then of course we speak in our native language. No one has ever looked at us weird or said anything, although most of them might assume we speak Spanish and Americans are more used to that than Chinese.
I think it’s a mix of FOMO and jealousy maybe.
We speak multiple languages at work and I only know 2 of them – It doesn’t bother me when people speak Gaelic, we’re in Scotland that’s their first language.
Cos they feel insecure and left out and don’t like that feeling
Instead of recognising it’s them being a bit daft and it’s not worth getting upset over, they act on that feeling
They want to be able to listen in to make sure you are not saying something inappropriate, e.g. talking shit about them or saying something they find wrong.
Why do
peopleconsider speaking a foreign language rude?Why do American people of certain political affiliations consider speaking a foreign language rude?
There, fixed it for you.
Do you mean that strangers say it’s rude?
If you do, then that’s just on them & their own insecurities.
I live in Australia, very multicultural country, and it would be stupid to think that people speaking their own language to each other was rude.
Are you perhaps talking about speaking a foreign language in the US? In my country which gets plenty of tourists, it’s perfectly normal
If you went to your mother’s house, and spoke exclusively in a language she didn’t understand while she was around, would it be rude?
You’re deliberately excluding people whose trust and acceptance you need to sustain the society you are enjoying. Do you wipe your feet before walking into a house?
Deliberately placing yourself in the “I must not be understood by those around me” bucket is othering yourself.
“They have no right to listen to my conversation”
Nor does your mother. But if you know her language and refuse to speak it in front of her, she is going to start resenting you.
It’s rude for the same reason it is rude to whisper around others. Yes, except the library etc.
You are obsessed with what they are doing and saying as well.
Because they are actually stupid.
Sounds like the people in that country only speaks one language?
Would most people consider it to be ok in any situation? Generally not a problem for me, but I’m wondering specifically about the workplace. For instance, I work part-time in retail and last week I had a family of six come in. They wanted a lot of food and I was overwhelmed anyway, and then they started talking over one another in a foreign language, and it kind of got more confusing. If I can’t understand, it only becomes harder for me to get you what you’d like. And I hate making mistakes with guests.
Mostly though, yeah it’s no one’s business what you’re saying.
No one considers speaking foreign language rude. This is just another shower argument. As long as you are not being loud, it’s all good. Being loud in any language 👎🏼
I don’t really think it’s about listening in
I’m surrounded by people speaking Dutch non stop in public and it doesn’t even register
However if 1 person is speaking a foreign language on the phone somehow it immediately gets picked up unconsciously and you notice it
I don’t really think it’s rude. I’m just pointing out the fact people stare might not be due to being judgmental
I think humans are very entitled. They think others are talking about them or they are upset they can’t eavesdrop. Speak your language! Its beautiful! It’s so amazing to see people learn and speak differently. If someone has a problem with it thats honestly on them for taking it the wrong way. You’re simply just living life. People find anything to be upset about :/
Probably because they can’t understand you, so they get mad they can’t eavesdrop.
I swap languages whenever I feel someone is eavesdropping. The person who gets upset was listening in.
Most conversations are mundane regardless of language(s).
It’s not some conspiracy.
Racism and xenophobia combined with being used to always getting to listen in to strangers conversations
Some very monolingual communities are almost paranoid thinking “what are you saying that you don’t want me to know”
My girlfriend is Vietnamese and told me “When you hear older people speaking Vietnamese around you they are definitely talking about you” 😂 so the paranoia can be real in some cases
Inferiotiy complex. Ignore them or ask them why are they so invested in listening to your conversation.
I can give you an answer, but I can’t say I agree with it. My best guess would be they assume you’re using the opportunity of them not being aware of what you’re saying to bad-mouth them. However, to me, that’s a little absurd
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I’ve had a similar situation; when I was sorta young (maybe 12ish?), I was out with my brother, mom, mom’s partner, and his son. We were just outside, sitting in chairs (imagine around a campfire. We weren’t actually around one, but similar seating arrangement), and I was sitting next to my mom, with her partner across from us. I spoke to my mom to tell her that my stomach hurts, and if she had any medicine or if I could lay down or something
It was a while ago so I don’t remember the conversation exactly, but her partner got rather up in arms about it, about how it was very rude to talk to someone specifically in a group setting, and how it was just basic human respect (might not’ve been his words verbatim, but it’s the gist). Now, I’ve always been very willing to hear what other people have to say, especially adults, and especially especially when I was much younger. But even in that moment, it just sorta struck me as odd?
Listen, the guy’s all around very stand-up, don’t go judging him off this one anecdotal story told where he happens to be the antagonist; we all have moments like that, and I just happen to be telling you one of his. He also has had some self-esteem issues, and I very strongly believe he’s neuro-divergent
Having said all that, what we were talking about was frankly none of his business. I understand that it could’ve been, but to go off like that and make such a strong assertion- not just about that case but about every situation in which you may want to talk to someone one-on-one- just seemed a little unreasonable to me. And it still does
stupid people consider it rude. I’m quietly impressed
Some people are far too sensitive, but it depends on the context.
Is it just the three of us, and you turn to your wife and speak in Cantonese? Rude.
Do you speak to her in Cantonese in public? Totally normal.
I don’t know either, aside from the default explanation that they’re stupid. I speak (rather) fluently 3 languages, and I know the basics of 2 more (more than just tourist level), and I’m not shy about that.
I had a friend who did this when she would call her mom on the phone. The annoying part is that, since you don’t understand the language, it simply becomes noise and ion like listening to noise.
Because a lot of the time it’s used to trash talk people who (it’s assumed) can’t understand.
I’ve known a few people who have caught onto this, but most of all was a guy I used to know who spoke 6 languages. He was an African guy with tattoos, and as a very social person he got along with a lot of the bar staff and security in the area.
Pretty much every time, he’d call people out for trash talking others. Looking like he did, he was the one they were talking shit about most of the time, but it was honestly amazing how often it would happen in general.
They assume you are talking trash about them behind their back.
What’s the context of this?
Lots of people commenting on how these others are being self-absorbed. But if you’re just walking on the street, at a store, at a mall, etc.. conversing with your group, are you sure these looks you think are disgust are’t actually just curiosity?
If I hear a foreign language in a place I’m not expecting, my ears perk up, not out of offense, but because it isn’t typical.
It’s not inherently rude, it’s then projecting that you must be talking about them. Because if they could speak in another language that’s what they would do lmaoooo
Cause they’re dumb and cannot physically process that the entire world isn’t created to please them.
It depends where and when you’re doing it.
When you’re alone with your wife it’s fine, that’s a private conversation anyway, who cares. If you’re at work it’s less fine since your coworkers may think you’re excluding them from the conversation on purpose, or even gossiping about them right in front of their face.
I don’t know, my mom loves to do this on purpose when she is in certain places like airports or when she goes travelling (only speaking Cantonese when she’s in a white country but speaking mostly English at home). I personally find it pretty rude and fake).
The only time it irritates me is if the people speaking the other language are speaking at a ridiculously high volume. Must be a cultural thing for some people but that happens sometimes. Maybe consider double checking your volume because it gives the same vibe as people who use speakerphone in public.
Otherwise people should mind their business.
I only think it’s rude if you’re in a small group because you’re purposely excluding the other person/people. Unless they are strangers, then I don’t think its rude.
Just imagine what you and your people who do if we were in your country lmao
It’s often assumed you switched languages to exclude those around you, the line of reasoning going that you switched to trash talk someone around you. Which tbh isn’t that uncommon. Also something unfamiliar is more noticeable which is a second reason someone might’ve suddenly noticed your conversation.
I am mixed race Asian and white. My white mother would routinely get pissed off at my dad’s family for talking about her right in front of her, like she was too dumb to realize they were talking about her. I’ve also heard my Chinese family say she was just being sensitive and imagining things, despite me also hearing them talk shit about her. I would say if you are talking in front of strangers, do what you want. But if it’s family and friends, it is in fact rude.
If it’s just you and two other people and they’re speaking the same language, thats an asshole thing to do. But other than that I don’t care about it.
It’s different so, it gets their attention and they look. If you live in an area where many different languages are spoken, fewer people will pay attention to you.
I totally get what you’re saying. It’s weird how some people feel entitled to understand every conversation happening around them, even when it doesn’t involve them at all. Speaking your native language with your partner isn’t rude—it’s normal. Honestly, assuming someone is talking about you just because you don’t understand them says more about their insecurity than anything else.
I wonder the same thing.
I think people might have an urge towards cultural cohesiveness and feel threatened when people “defy” joining and conforming to the dominant culture. I think paired with that is the fear that the development of a culturally separate group (different language, religion, culture, etc) which could become a political/religious/economic rival, if that makes sense. History and the present day, after all, is repeated episodes of “groups” of people (whether race, gender, religions, nations, etc) fighting for power/resources and often escalating to discrimination and violence. Some people I’m sure also feel threatened by the use of a separate language which prevents them from eavesdropping/ understanding what is being said.
When reading about the invasion of Nanking by the Japanese, the book I read said that China was apparently much more vulnerable to attack because many of them spoke separate languages and consequently had a much harder time organizing and uniting themselves against the attack from the Japanese. So that did make me wonder if some people have an instinct against the use of multiple languages rather than one common language. But that is speculation.
the short answer: racism
the long answer: racism
It’s not rude unless you’re using it to stealthily make rude comments. These people are just xenophobic and self conscious. Speak however you like.
I get that it isn’t like this in most places in Texas but where I’m at even white families like mine talk in Spanish pretty often. If you hear somebody talking another language your brain kind of assumes it’s Spanish here until you listen carefully and figure out it’s not.
I might stare because it’s a different sound and I like to hear the sounds of other languages.
At my workplace, a Vietnamese family is the boss and the managers. The son is the boss and the parents are the managers.
I can usually tell when they switch to Vietnamese because they don’t want us to know what they’re discussing versus they just started talking in Vietnamese to each other.
It’s also kind of interesting to watch the dynamics considering the familial hierarchy and respecting your elders in Asian cultures but in this case the son is the boss.
My grandma was SURE they were talking about her. Shockingly, they were not.
I’ve sat in front of people talking together in their language, while they were dissing me (yes I happened to speak that language). So it happens
i dont care unless (and this situation has happened to me) you are in my house talking to someone in a language i dont understand, knowing i dont understand. i do find that incredibly rude
Because they’re racist. That’s it. And maybe a little too slow to pick up a second language and feel jealous 🤷. Speak whatever language you want/can best. It’s non of their business what you’re talking about, they don’t need to hear it. It’s not rude at all to speak in a language other than English in the states.
Lot of these comments kinda hit the nail on the head. Most people do it because they want to talk shit to people and feel smug without having to deal with the consequences of their actions. Not always the case, but the vast majority of the time in a mixed group of people, it’s usually someone wanting to be rude and knowing that it’ll start a fight. That and the insult wont hit the same way when you say “How do you say” a million times before getting to the insult.
Some folks are stupid and assume everything is about them, but a lot of folks really arent as clever or slick as they think. Yall dont realize most people have started taking Second, Third, etc. Languages and you’re far more likely to get caught doing that dumb shit.
Private Conversation? Great. You know you’re just trying to be an asshole and hope no one around understands you so you can avoid consequences of your actions? I hope someone rats you out and it skips straight to Blows, cause you deserve it and you know it. 😬
sometimes people switch to a foreign language to make fun of others i’ve had it happen to me in spanish which is hilarious because i speak spanish so the look on their face when they realize i understand is priceless
Americans are so used to everyone around them speaking English that they’re just appalled that anyone could have the gall not to speak English in their presence. I’m a white person and I get dirty looks from other white people for speaking Spanish with Latino customers, it’s so dumb 😐
they’re nosy
I think this really depends on your country. In my country nobody cares. Out language is only spoken in our little country so we just expect everybody else to speak a dofferent language. No one cares.
Also, when I lived in London I spoke my own language with my boyfriend when we were out alone. Nobody cared…
So I would say that you’re really unlucky to be in a country where people find it rude…
While I would say the act of talking about people in their faces is rude in any language, speaking in another language, in and of itself, is not. It’s an A&B conversation, so the only people who matter in it are person A and person B.
They’re just racist or insecure lol
It’s not rude, they’re just racist.
You live around some weird people. But not knowing how to speak a dominant language in another country and expect people to know your language is rude.
People getting mad at you for speaking your own language to your wife in public is wild to me …If they feel excluded, maybe they should reflect on why they think they’re entitled to understand every private convo happening around them.
Keep speaking Cantonese! The world isn’t a group chat with live translation !!
I’ve seen examples of people talking smack about someone in a foreign language because it’s assumed that you won’t understand them. So yes it’s pretty rude. A lot of Latin-Americans do it, dumb gringos don’t speak Spanish right?
Just practicing my secret spy language, no gossip, I promise
If you are speaking your own language to your own family then that’s nobody elses business. It is a bit disturbing though that you mention talking about people in a language that they understand in front of them. That’s not very nice.
Bad insecure people. In the us probably where many think English is the only language. In Europe this is so common no one would care.