My friend is 36. She works full time, has a kid, deals with health stuff, and still shows up for everyone. She started this little creative project in the evenings, just something for herself. For once, she seemed genuinely excited about something.
Then her husband made a comment “You should focus on something useful for once.” And often giggles and mocks her for doing it even though she works fulltime, cooks, cleans, runs the household. How can your husband be such an asshole and not support you when that little project was one thing that really brought her joy.
He couldn’t even let her have that.
She didn’t stop completely, but something changed. She doesn’t talk about it much anymore. The excitement is gone. Like a part of her shut down, quietly.
I’m 34 and honestly, I’ve seen this so many times. A woman finds something that makes her feel good, and some man ruins it.
Have you been through this too? And if you found your way back to joy after something like that, how?
Edit: Her Hobby are candles, she has a website
Orravel.com
Comments
Why? it’s often Control and Power
Maybe the insecure looser do… men of high value realize organically that the entire point of doing so would be grotesque – why would we want to smear the women of our choosing where even if successful that will reduce us, to the demographic of a looser. It’s like shooting oneself in the foot. The women of our choosing are high value individuals that others can’t get precisely because of their high standards, high expectations, independence and demand for equal partnership. Anything less and we simply don’t get them, we could get the “other kind” of women but we don’t want that!
To answer your two questions: yes and by leaving him. My ex was abusive and took all his frustrations over his own failures out on me. He could not handle a job or stress and I was a driven and successful professional. I finally decided I loved myself and I wouldn’t let him make me feel like nothing just because that’s how he felt.
She sounds like a wonderful person. Please reach out to her and encourage her hobbies before she drops it. It sounds like hubby doesn’t want her doing anything that only benefits her, and her only.
These candles look pretty dope though…
The teddy bear? The rose? Damn. Do they ship to me?
I despise men like this. Feel so bad for her.