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Well, it’s the same with a certain group of men too. I believe it’s less of a gender specified thing to talk about, more like a society. Basically I believe that the very root of this problem is lonliness and the lack of self-observation
Either because they’re not used to someone being nice to them, or because they’re used to it being because men are hitting on them. Though it doesn’t help that there are a number of guys online that perpetuate the idea that the only way a guy is nice to a woman is just to get with her and that’s about it.
Some women interpret kindness as flirting due to a mix of social conditioning and lived experience.
Unwanted advances response shaped by patriarchy, objectification, and the reality of navigating male attention in a world where women are often sexualized by default.
I notice that there is definitely a subset of men and women both thinking that even a “hello” in the hallway at work is flirting. I don’t think there is one reason why. Sometimes it’s an overinflated ego, sometimes it’s conditioning. I have a coworker (male) who mentions his wife every time someone casually says hello or asks him a completely work related question. It’s very odd.
It’s a difficult situation. Creeps have no self control so women get annoyed. If you just like babbling like me and don’t care about what ppl think , I’m not hitting on them but I think it’s important for ppl to talk to each other. And guys that want to chat respectfully don’t want to be seen as creeps so it’s a problem. I think ppl should just talk without expectation. Just get along and if you do have a spark with someone then you can broach the subject of hanging out or just saying nice to chat but just not in the market now.
This seems a little backword. If anything, women seem to have better social skills and get the “ick” when non-desireable men talk to them. Too often men have more limited social interaction and don’t have the practice to “read” when a woman is being friendly vs flirting. So, in my opinion it’s more common for a man to think every woman who is being friendly with them is flirting with them.
But in all fairness, I wouldn’t say anything to the guy that I think they’re flirting. I just like to leave interactions believing as if they were flirting with me.
As a married man of 55, I’ve been a victim of this and also a guilty fool the other way. When I was younger and better looking, I would sometimes see flirting that wasn’t real. It’s probably a mix of wishful thinking and maybe being pre-conditioned by the teen years. That’s an extreme rarity nowadays, and at this point I think I’m trained to avoid casual conversations with any woman unless she initiates it because I don’t want to be assumed a letch.
I’d really like to understand that too. I guess it must be for the same reason that some woman think they can have every guy they lay their eyes on. Just go up, chat them up and good to go! Completely shocked when the guy says “No, thank you, not interested!” Apparently men are expected to get horny no matter who you are and how you look. So yeah … maybe it’s a similar mind-set?
I think it has to be to do with early experiences of attention from the other sex/ gender.
If you didn’t really get attention from them but then got some attention from people flirting, and this repeats enough, then when getting attention in the future it’s sensible to associate that with flirting.
If you got lots of attention from the other sex without it being flirtatious, especially during puberty when self awareness blossoms, then you’re not going to think that attention equals flirtation
As a woman, I find it to be the opposite in my experience. Men mistaking the friendliness of women for their interest in them. But I’m more interested in hearing more about your experience though.
Women are used to men only being friendly to them as a way to get sex instead of a genuine desire to make friends/be polite. As a result, we can be kind of skeptical.
I’ll never forget one time at a bar I tapped a girl on the shoulder and said “Excuse me” and she turns and immediately goes “Umm I have a boyfriend”. I was like “That’s nice. Now can you move so I can get to the bar and get a drink?”
I have a friend like this. Any man that speaks or looks at her is flirting / trying it on and putting her in danger of incurring the wrath of the wife / girlfriend as they all see her as a threat. It’s exhausting to listen to. Yes, no doubt some men are flirting and some women wary – but all and every? It’s baffling
Why do some men think that every woman that speaks to them is flirting even when they’re just being kind?
Is it people being bad at reading body language or other queues?
Is it because they are so used to the opposite gender flirting with them they just assume?
Do they secretly hope that person is flirting because they are deprived of that kind of attention?
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They don’t.
Well, it’s the same with a certain group of men too. I believe it’s less of a gender specified thing to talk about, more like a society. Basically I believe that the very root of this problem is lonliness and the lack of self-observation
Either because they’re not used to someone being nice to them, or because they’re used to it being because men are hitting on them. Though it doesn’t help that there are a number of guys online that perpetuate the idea that the only way a guy is nice to a woman is just to get with her and that’s about it.
Some women interpret kindness as flirting due to a mix of social conditioning and lived experience.
Unwanted advances response shaped by patriarchy, objectification, and the reality of navigating male attention in a world where women are often sexualized by default.
Flirt? Hell no. Borderline being harassed? Yes. Because that is what (some) men do if you are just being nice.
For the same reasons some men think that every woman who ever speaks to them is flirting…
I notice that there is definitely a subset of men and women both thinking that even a “hello” in the hallway at work is flirting. I don’t think there is one reason why. Sometimes it’s an overinflated ego, sometimes it’s conditioning. I have a coworker (male) who mentions his wife every time someone casually says hello or asks him a completely work related question. It’s very odd.
It’s a difficult situation. Creeps have no self control so women get annoyed. If you just like babbling like me and don’t care about what ppl think , I’m not hitting on them but I think it’s important for ppl to talk to each other. And guys that want to chat respectfully don’t want to be seen as creeps so it’s a problem. I think ppl should just talk without expectation. Just get along and if you do have a spark with someone then you can broach the subject of hanging out or just saying nice to chat but just not in the market now.
Same reason men do.
Blame the shitload of men who pretend to be kind to get laid.
Same guys who believe that strippers think he’s different and really like him
The exact same mentality as most women thinking they’re a 10, too much gaslighting from your own sex.
Something happen over the weekend that didn’t exactly go the way you expected?
This seems a little backword. If anything, women seem to have better social skills and get the “ick” when non-desireable men talk to them. Too often men have more limited social interaction and don’t have the practice to “read” when a woman is being friendly vs flirting. So, in my opinion it’s more common for a man to think every woman who is being friendly with them is flirting with them.
My ego is sky high, and I’m fantastic.
But in all fairness, I wouldn’t say anything to the guy that I think they’re flirting. I just like to leave interactions believing as if they were flirting with me.
As a married man of 55, I’ve been a victim of this and also a guilty fool the other way. When I was younger and better looking, I would sometimes see flirting that wasn’t real. It’s probably a mix of wishful thinking and maybe being pre-conditioned by the teen years. That’s an extreme rarity nowadays, and at this point I think I’m trained to avoid casual conversations with any woman unless she initiates it because I don’t want to be assumed a letch.
B_TCHES BE CRAAAAY-ZEEEE!!!
they think they are hot shit and are only nice to people they want to fuck, so they assume you are doing the same
I’d really like to understand that too. I guess it must be for the same reason that some woman think they can have every guy they lay their eyes on. Just go up, chat them up and good to go! Completely shocked when the guy says “No, thank you, not interested!” Apparently men are expected to get horny no matter who you are and how you look. So yeah … maybe it’s a similar mind-set?
I’m not sure if I’ve ever flirted with anyone. I never knew how. So anyone thinking that’s what I was at, they’re definitely wrong.
i think you’ve got it mixed up lol
I think it has to be to do with early experiences of attention from the other sex/ gender.
If you didn’t really get attention from them but then got some attention from people flirting, and this repeats enough, then when getting attention in the future it’s sensible to associate that with flirting.
If you got lots of attention from the other sex without it being flirtatious, especially during puberty when self awareness blossoms, then you’re not going to think that attention equals flirtation
Because they usually are.
As a woman, I find it to be the opposite in my experience. Men mistaking the friendliness of women for their interest in them. But I’m more interested in hearing more about your experience though.
Because those same men wouldn’t be “kind” to someone they deem as ugly.
Women are used to men only being friendly to them as a way to get sex instead of a genuine desire to make friends/be polite. As a result, we can be kind of skeptical.
I’ll never forget one time at a bar I tapped a girl on the shoulder and said “Excuse me” and she turns and immediately goes “Umm I have a boyfriend”. I was like “That’s nice. Now can you move so I can get to the bar and get a drink?”
Because we’re all so starved for attention.
I have a friend like this. Any man that speaks or looks at her is flirting / trying it on and putting her in danger of incurring the wrath of the wife / girlfriend as they all see her as a threat. It’s exhausting to listen to. Yes, no doubt some men are flirting and some women wary – but all and every? It’s baffling
Why do some men think that every woman that speaks to them is flirting even when they’re just being kind?
Is it people being bad at reading body language or other queues?
Is it because they are so used to the opposite gender flirting with them they just assume?
Do they secretly hope that person is flirting because they are deprived of that kind of attention?
Nobody can say for sure.