Or “how’s the food?”
People generally do not like talking with their mouth full of food, it’s often considered impolite or rude.
What’s a better way to handle it as a customer?
Why do wait staff walk up to you right as you taken your first bite and your chewing your food, “is everyone ok?!”
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Cuz im. Like a dentist waiting for ur mouth to be full then ask how the family is doing
It’s your chance to tell them if something isn’t right/needs correcting, if you suddenly got thirsty & need another drink, or if you just realised you’d actually really like some ketchup with that.
If you ordered the medium-rare and got a cremation, you don’t want to sit there seething until you can manage to grab some passing server, only to get your corrected meal when everyone else has finished. You want it fixed right away.
They catch you with a mouth full of food, so all you can do is nod. They don’t actually want to talk to you. They want to hit you with the, “everything ok?” you nod Cuz mouthful of food.
They walk away
Restaurants I have worked in make us go up to you after your first bite as a courtesy like if there’s anything wrong with the food now’s your chance to say it because we won’t let you complain later. It’s so invasive, unnecessary and lowkey rude. I would rather go up after they’re at least half way through the meal or if they look visibly upset because how would someone know they are upset with the food after 1 bite!
I’ve never liked the logic behind it but that’s hospitality-.-
What’s even worse is when they just walk up and interrupt your conversation while you are right in the middle of saying something important.
I hate it. If there is an issue with the food I will let you know. Otherwise I’m here to socialise with the people at the table not the waiter
4 Points Sheraton in Navi Mumbai.
Breakfast time, 4 to 5 staff in sequence will do that to me as I am chewing.
Daily.
For 2 weeks.
A good waiter should leave the customer to themselves but appear instantly when they are required – that’s what you get at high end places, attentive service but until you need something, you are left alone. However, waiting staff at low and mid end places don’t have that sort of training or experience and it’s easier to just force them to do check ups automatically to fix anything that may have gone awry. I find it annoying too.
Can’t check if you’re enjoying your food until after you’ve started eating it, once you’ve started eating your can almost guarantee that at least one person on your table will have food in their mouth at any one time.
That being said: if I were bored on a shift my check-backs were always directed at the person with the fullest mouth. It was a tedious job.
You should smell and sample your food like you’re wine tasting… and give similar feedback.
In my brief waitering career, I did it on purpose because I didn’t want you to have an opportunity to ask me to do more work.
Mmmhmmm
That seems rude, put in order or run order or smoke.
Common sense told me to stroll through early and ask when they seem sedate from the good food. Most food was great, easy to tell. More like ask if they need anything or a refill. Cant remember if I asked always.
Waiting tables. Wild west treated like its ur own business. Managers left us alone. Usually haha towards end got wrote up twice and I put in notice I was hurting chronic pain from cracker barrel and no tray jacks so forearm cant turn hands over good or without big pain 25 years later ??? Haha nobody told me u can mess up everything on ur body .
Fucking servers need to go the route of the dinosaurs fucking waste of a job honestly. Just set the food out and let people come out and get it and serve themselves, it saves money, it’s significantly faster,personal accountability,less stress or anxiety, it’s a win/win all around except for really rich people I suppose lol.
So you think that a server is able to perfectly time when each person pops their very first bite in their food hole-with 8 tables and 30+ people-perfectly every time? Doing it on purpose, for what reason?
At what bite is it appropriate to ask? Would you rather they put the food in front and check when it’s too late? What’s that definition?
Could it be you’re overthinking and finding a reason to be upset? Or does the world revolve around you?
If you have thumbs, feel free to use them.
Their jobs are tough. It’s how they get their kicks 😉
It’s a rhetorical question. They aren’t trying to start a conversation about your experience, they are asking to emphasize that the restaurant cares about doing a good job. Asking while everyone’s mouth is full is just a smart tactical move.
It’s because We have been to many restaurants that the food runners Forget to bring a Soup spoon with the soup, or they forgot to bring one of the sides, etc.
So it is good to get that resolved at the start instead of later when the meal is almost over.
OP sounds like a great tipper, so checking on them is a top priority.
They should give you a little card when you are first seated where you can check off how often you want your server fucking with you. Refill drinks only…Check!
Because then they wont ask me to do anything but i still appear attentive 😂
they’re taught to and told to?
why? i don’t know ask someone who works in the industry lmao
Because they are micromanaged and told to do so immediately even though they know you haven’t had chance
Thumbs up or thumbs down so that you can convey your feelings without breaking chew.
Have you heard of “The nod”. ?
Essentially you want to ask that question so that if they complain later you can not give a refund based on the fact that they had already once confirmed that the food was ok.
If you ask too early then they can’t answer, if you ask too late they can eat the majority of the meal and then say it was in some way defective and they won’t pay.
So there’s a little sweet spot between them starting the dish and them finding fault with it. Usually it’s 2 minutes after the food has been served to the table.
Bon appetit.
They are trained to do that so that when your mouth is full, you can’t ask them for anything else, and since they came to check on you they can take their time before they come back a second time…
I genuinely hate when they do it…
You’re in a restaurant to eat, odds are you’re going to have food in your mouth. Why do you expect your wait staff to stare and wait until they’re sure you don’t have a mouthful? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Quality check should be performed within 2 bites or 2 minutes to make sure there isn’t a problem with the order
A long, long time ago, i can still remember…………………………. we were at a very fancy place, on Cape Cod., “off season”…. i am R handed and there was a wall to my right, my water glass was to the right of my plate along with the ash tray ( that long ago )
we had a cocktail while waiting for our food and i lit a butt, took a few drags, snubbed it out and intended to finish after i ate…. our young .waitress stopped at our table, asked if we wanted another drink ( had not finished our first ) we said no, she reached across and went to grab the ashtray….. i asked her to leave it
food came, i was drinking the water, as we ate.. waitress stopped at table, water pitcher in hand and reached across my plate to grab my water glass… i had just put a bite in my mouth… annoyed, i stopped her hand with the handle of my fork….. “please stop reaching over the table, when and if we need something, i will call you, now may i have another fork? “
she was just trying to be a good server but a little over board…….we left her a generous tip and maybe taught her a tidbit………..
that’s what i like about restaurants in germany. After you get your food they don’t bother you besides asking if you want more drinks when they see that most of the glasses are empty
Why do they disappear when you want to pay and leave ?
My husband asks me how I like the food before I can take a bite. He does not, nor has he ever worked in food service. I do nothing because I love him.
If my country ever gets to a point where wait staff interrupt my dining experience to make my meal about themselves, I will stop dining out. I’m there for the food, not you.
In my country, staff are present but unobtrusive. That is what makes my dining experience feel like I’m having a good time.
What a ridiculous complaint. They need to know quickly so they correct it quickly so your food isn’t cold by the time you get all of your sauces or whatever you need to enjoy your food.
Just say you’re fine and smile. It’s awkward for them as well, usually it’s the restaurants’ politics. I used to work in a bar owned by a grumpy old man and he’d make me ask the customers if they’d like another pint, even if they had them half full. It was so embarassing. Never did it while he wasn’t there. One time I saw him coming and rushed to a table to ask if they’d like another one. Well, he didn’t look at me. And I had to do it again one minute later because he didn’t believe me I already asked. Thanks god he was there only about 5 minutes per day.
Slowly let the bit fall out of your mouth while staring at them, then answer how you like it
I mean, the likelihood of you having a bite in your mouth increases exponentially after you get your food. You’ve almost always got food in your mouth, are swallowing, or taking a drink. So, just on odds alone…
Also, we’re not paying attention to your chewing. Especially if there are multiple people at the table who can answer the question.
I have watched a server wait until I had food in my mouth and dart over to ask how everything is. I think it’s a game for some of them.
You’re less likely to complain with a moutful of food I guess!
Because they have to check on you, but also have 50 other things to do. They’ll ask whenever they happen to be there because they may not be able to see you again for a while.
Staff are trained to do this.
Often eye contact is sufficient.
If there’s doubt about the diner (or the line is inconsistent), waitrons will ask soonest moment possible.
I guess this happens mostly in USA? Cannot remember as quick questioning in Europe 😁
It’s because you are giving the customer the chance to have their order corrected. If they say everything’s fine then they can’t complain about it at the end cause they want a discount
The first bite is when I want the server checking on me. Don’t let me get 1/2 way through the meal with a missing side or needing a condiment.
They don’t do that in Australia because they’re not dependent on tips here.
My dude. Just nod or shake your head.
If you have words to say, take the additional 10 seconds to chew, swallow, and then communicate.
It’s not that big of a deal.
If your mouth is full and everything’s OK, give the waitperson a thumbs-up. They’ll understand.
Or, if you have a complaint, hold up your index finger, meaning you want them to wait until you eat your mouth empty so you can talk.
I give the thumbs-up.
And if they didn’t would you complain too
I just Thumbs up when they do.
Servers have a lot of time management and spacial awareness to keep track of, they’re just doing their job and making sure your visit as a guest is satisfactory. Nobody likes to wait to send their food back if it is necessary. Plus, when they’re in the thick of service, and their brain is turning to figurative mush; table touches are the only thing separating you from recieving legitimately shitty service.
I’m in work mode. Checking on all the tables at one time. My brain is full of things like dropping ranch at table 41 and bringing the check to 42. Where you are in your series of bites isn’t on my mind until I’m already at your table and talking to you. Good ol hand motions always worked for me. Just a tap of the water glass or a thumbs up would work. And then next time I approach I make sure you aren’t mid bite so I can make sure there isn’t something else
I feel like it is a way to get it out of the way, before they get carried away with other customers. It is almost like making sure that they keep the assembly line on the track, which restaurants are mostly an assembly line.
>Get the order,
>give it to the kitchen,
>find the previous customer who’s had their meal delivered,
>make sure their meal delivery is not excessively clogging up the table/ too hot/ not what they ordered/ not missing condiments or utensils, etc.
> make up for any discrepancy that occurred
> Check the kitchen whether the newer customer(s) food is ready
> deliver the food
> Wipe off/ clean up tables with crumbs/ stuff still left in them
> ring up outstanding checks
> collect the cash tips
> rinse repeat
servers often triage based on urgency — hot food gets priority over drink refills, checks wait if someone’s having a problem with their order, and so on. It’s a balance of managing multiple time-sensitive demands while still being polite and efficient.
To make sure nobody is missing anything or needs anything before eating
If something on the table is incorrect, for some they can’t even begin eating. Servers ask up front so no one is sitting unable to begin their meal with everyone else.
Thumb up and a nod if it’s ok, the ‘wait a sec’ finger if I need to ask for something or say something
It’s literally part of points of service at all my previous jobs. We had to check back within two minutes of receiving your food or we could get in trouble, especially if the table were secret shoppers
It’s not intentional. We always check back and since you’re eating, the odds of having food in your mouth is going to be greater than not.
The first bite phenomenon is part of that. “Two minute check back” is the term they used in all the restaurants I worked in. Check back in two minutes from the moment the food hits the table. This gives guests a moment to analyze if they have the correct food items, need an additional drink before they begin, require any additional condiments, etc. The fact that guests usually determine their needs within those two minutes and additionally take their first bite is, I believe, not coincidental. Our timing is coincidental but also not coincidental.
idk how long it takes yall to put food in your mouth. sometimes i come back 3 minutes later, and half the plate is gone, and sometimes, not a bite has been taken. when i come up to my tables, “is everything okay?” is just a reflex atp
That is the point where if something is wrong, the customer most likely will notice. You don’t want the customer looking around for help because of something you didn’t even check on. It’s not meant to be invasive or bad timing, it’s meant for a pleasant dining experience.
I managed a few restaurants long ago for many yrs.
I just smile and nod. You don’t have to speak
It’s not a plot. It’s just bad timing. They have a lot of things going on at once and know they might not be back in a minute but don’t want to skip that step of service.
People really need to realize that they are not the center of the world and every little thing does not revolve around them.
Because it would be stupid to ask you before you’ve tried it and meaningless to ask you after you’ve eaten too much.
The thing I always hear is that it’s a tactic to make it harder for you to ask for anything
I think that’s bullshit. They’re just coming back around and you’re eating now. It’s been enough time for you to notice maybe something was forgotten. And you’re going to be eating until you’re finished. So the chances are high that you will have food in your mouth
Because there’s nothing worse than someone saying “I hated every bite but I kept eating because nobody came over to fix it!” So once they see you’ve started and have tasted most of it they come to make sure you’re actually enjoying it. What if you take a bite and it’s cold or something then they wait 20 minutes to check on you and now it’s like “was it really cold or are you trying to get a free meal?” Or just the issue of you’re hungry and your foods been in front of you but wrong so you have to wait for someone to acknowledge you so you can have it fixed
To make sure you’ve got the right food and utinsels so you can eat.
When I waited tables the rules were 5 minutes or 5 bites to check with the party on how their meal was going. I think this should be SOP for all servers.
Nod your head?
Or put up a finger signaling to wait a second, which will make them realize you have your mouth full.
This isn’t rocket science.
Remember, most staff have a stupid middle manager telling them what to do.
It’s in case you want extra napkins or a side of ranch and to see if your order was correct. A lot of places won’t give you a refund or remake your order if you’ve eaten most of it.
They’re just checking you’ve got the right dish and it’s been properly made. They’re not asking for your life story. Just say is good cheers.
I just nod and give a thumbs up.
We actually time it so that we can catch you with a mouth full of food. It’s really fun to see you struggle to get a word out when you’re wolfing down that club sandwich. Behind the scenes, we have a ranking system and place bets on which customer will look the most awkward tying to respond to us.
Either that, or we’re really busy and we simply can’t wait until everyone at the table doesn’t have food in their mouth before we check on them to see if everything is okay.
But it’s super fun to make you look ridiculous talking with your mouth full.
It’s one of the steps of service at every restaurant I’ve ever worked in
Becauze when you need something, youll want the waitstaff to be at your table earlier than later. Its only annoying if you have all the stuff you want already. But they can read your mind
They’re in cahoots with dentists that try to have entire conversations with you.
Look them in the eyes, smile with your mouth closed, and nod your head twice.
Turn away from them and go back to enjoying your meal.
Or if you want to be petty,
Hold one finger up, like you’re implying hold on one sec, take your time finishing your mouthful. Sorry what did you say I was busy enjoying my meal? What’s up?
They ask again.
“Yeah it’s good thanks.” Smile, then go back to your food.
I find this mostly occurs in the U.S. where the idea is to get you in and out as quickly as possible, so another party can be seated at your table. And like you I find it very annoying. In my personal experience this does not happen in Europe, places like Italy for example (restaurants outside of the tourist traps) where you are often the only party that will be sitting at your table for the entire evening. You are left alone to enjoy your meal for as long as you want. I find myself eating out less now for two reasons, partly because of the increasing percentage in tips you are expected to be paying (again primarily in the U.S.) and for all of they annoyances you have to endure while you are dining. Wait staff pushing you to hurry up while pretending to care about you. Here in the U.S, even in “upscale” restaurants it is get your food and get out. Fast food is the name of the game. I think party this is because there are very few family owned restaurants any more, the opposite of how it used to be. Now pretty much all are part of a some big chain. They really only care about the bottom line, preparing good cuisine and customers having a nice dining experience is just not on their list of priorities. This was aggravated by Covid, where independent restaurants, without deep pockets went under. My favorite restaurant, one with great food, good prices, ambiance and dining experience closed, replace by another chain selling touristy crap.
The waiter doesn’t want to engage you in conversation. They want to make sure you are happy that everything is correct, and you have all that you need. They need to do this quickly, otherwise it becomes a reasonable complaint.
You can just smile and nod, or give a thumbs up. They’re busy people – they’ll be grateful if you say nothing that doesn’t need to be said.
Staff just need to walk by and make themself seen and if there is any issues the customer will grab their attention
Its their job
I’m assuming it’s because if something is wrong, it’s easier to catch it or confirm that everything is fine early on.
I imagine it’s also a way to try and limit the ‘Customer ate half (or more than half) the meal, and then complained about the quality last minute, and tried to get a freebie’ situations.
Because you shake your head yes and they don’t need to bring anything is my assumption. If they catch you later you may realize you need something and if you have t just taken a bite you can speak to them. Lol idk just what I always think when they do that to me.
no idea. It’s like I’m eating, please leave me the fuck alone.
“How’s everything tasting?”
Did you enjoy your charred flesh?
I bet everyone would say yes everything is okay even if they had just bit into a slab of raw chicken 🤣 I know I would
To make sure your order came out as intended.
It takes me a very long time to eat, i will be on my second bite by the time everyone else is half done. Waiters always think there is a problem and constantly check in. I definitely understand this annoyance! Though i do understand why they do it for me.
Because that’s what they’re trained to do. The standard is 2 bites or 2 minutes.
Because you’re thinking about your situation when the wait staff has half a dozen tables to deal with.
Time is not infinite. They’re going to check on you when they have a moment… not sit in the corner spying on your masticatory progress for the most opportune moment to pounce.
You chew too slow
“Sie haben mir ins Essen gequatscht!” (Sorry to all non Germans who don’t know this)
Because all it usually takes is that first bite to know something is wrong.
I just do the thumbs up and mumble “great!” through the food in my mouth
I just give a thumbs up to that question
A good way to handle the situation if there isn’t anything you need from the server is a classic thumbs-up.
So that when you get to the end of your meal with a clean plaite you can’t complain about it and ask for a refund.
I’d rather this than them never come back after they forgot my sauce/dressing or i need a utensil or another drink or there’s something wrong with the food.
👍
So you can’t say anything and they still look like they did their job and deserve a tip