one reason is because we see how horrible this world can be. also we’re noticing how stressful parenting is for family and friends, so we decided to opt out.
We don’t hate kids we just understand that you can live a fulfilling life without them. We don’t want the responsibility or financial burden. We choose to live our lives for us not someone else.
Wow I was wondering where our daily question of this was.
They dislike the parenting not the kid IMO. There are no more “inside voices” or places without kids. Adults drag kids everywhere and then stick a screen in front of their faces to entertain them and always “forget”the headphones. It’s people becoming ruder and treating every public place like their living rooms. It’s just more noticeable with kids as there are a lot more growing up with this being normal.
Simple answer I’m selfish and I cannot see myself at 3am holding a crying child for the 5th sleepless night in a row.
The deeper answer I at 28 am doing well for myself on an individual level. Throw a child into that and I will feel poor and on top of that I will wouldn’t know the route to make sure that kid gets everything they deserve. If I can be confident that I can give that child the world before they are born idk if I should bring them into this world.
There are twice as many people on this planet today as there were 50 years ago. That’s an extra 4 billion people added in just a little bit longer than I’ve been alive. We don’t need any more. The world is already overpopulated.
I absolutely love kids but am choosing not to have them. I do not feel comfortable bringing a new life into the world as it is now, plus the costs are absurd.
Also, although I love kids, I do not love parents.
Capitalism has sucked the fun out of childhood and teenagehood and adulthood. People cant enjoy themselves anymore so they want more time to do it without having to be responsible. At least for millennials. Also the breakdown of church attendance and nuclear family dogmas.
We learned there were childless people living fulfilling lives. Many of us also come from divorced parents and have no reason to believe we won’t be divorced ourselves one day. I don’t think we are interested in being single parents. Even when I see people my age with children now, I don’t feel any sense of envy. I see adults who look like they’re just kind of over it and desperate to socialize with people about things not related to their kids.
I’ve disliked kids since I was a kid. Little cousins, friends younger siblings. I’ve always found them challenging and annoying and it’s never gone away.
People say “it’s different when it’s your own” but when I already consciously don’t want kids it would be crazy to risk it in hopes that I somehow ‘see the light’.
Now that I’m older, I’m fairly sure it was the ADHD and sensory sensitivity all along.
From a biological perspective many animals cant or wont reproduce when under extreme stress.
The world economy is under rubber band stress and the rich keep pulling it and pulling it.
We can all feel the stress. Most people wanting children these days are doing it because their religion or culture demands it. Or, because they’ve wanted to for so long they are sick of waiting.
Both approaches have a very “damn the consequences” approach.
For centuries there have been people who do not want to have children but part of the rules of society did not give them the option of not having them, imagine that in the time of your grandparents someone would have said “I do want to get married but not have children” it would not have made sense.
As today you can already externalize that notion and live without social problems that is why people are encouraged to make it public not so much that more people change their minds.
Although I don’t deny that certain current movements promote not having children as a criticism of social models.
Enjoying your lifestyle (traveling, going out with friends, doing literally anything else)
HAVING THE CHOICE. We are a new generation of women who can support themselves without being tied down to someone. Just 30 years women couldn’t own a bank account without a man signing for it.
Specifically for women, the pregnancy, labor, and consequences are terrifying as hell (specifically the US has the highest rates of maternity deaths of any first world country, that should scare any woman)
Also, for women, they’re more likely to be the ones to end up at home taking care of the kid while also balancing a full-time job. Or, they have to quit their job because it doesn’t cover the cost of daycare, or comes out to be about even, which makes it silly to stay
Not wanting to be accountable for another human being 24/7 for forever
Not wanting to pass down health issues
Sleep deprivation is a nightmare
Stresses the relationship and can even destroy it
Not wanting to add more people into a world with too many
Environmental impacts and mass consumption concerns
Honestly, I’d be a teacher again before I have a kid. I like kids. They’re cute and fun. I also like that they’re not mine, and I can keep doing my thing and enjoying my life how it is. If you want kids? Great. But more people SHOULD be asking, “Why do I want a kid?” So many unwanted or neglected kids are born every day. That would decrease if people really put in the thought to what having a child entails.
I think a big reason is actually just us accepting that you don’t HAVE to have kids.
It was always the done thing. You grow up, you get married, you have kids, that is how life goes.
I’m in my thirties and I’ve never wanted kids. But I don’t think I really actually knew that was an option until the last ten years or so. Before then, I hated the idea but it was just what I would need to do one day. And when I say an option- I knew logically I could choose not to have kids. But it seemed so rare people felt the same that if I wanted to find a life partner, being child free wasn’t really on the table.
Think about people who grew up with abusive parents. I bet a non-insignificant amount of them never wanted to be parents and decided to blame the children they had instead of society for making them think it was never an option.
They don’t wanna have someone who’ll experience the complication and hardships of life. Additionally, with our economy, it’s even hard to survive single let alone with a child, it’s just so expensive
The generational trauma ends with me – I’m simply not fit to be a mother and I’m honest about it (something my parents should’ve probably considered themselves…).
Also, the world is awful, I don’t have the financial means, I’m also very single and I just don’t think I could cope with sleepless nights and tantrums 🤷🏻♀️
Many adults have always disliked children (or at least not wanted to be parents), but social pressure and practicality gave them fewer choices about having them.
People can’t afford them! Americans are still paying off a student debt, the world economy is pretty bad. In America it, costs about $20k more or less, to give birth in a hospital. Having children keeps poor people poor and/or reliant on government assistance and keeps them from moving up in the world by running them ragged in the daily multi-job grind to feed another mouth or more. In America and elsewhere housing is not great with too little housing, too expensive housing, or too many restrictions to build a house. Denmark seems pretty good but their four person bikes look stupid /s. Wars are on the doorstep of many nations and human rights are being trampled. I don’t think it is fair to say that adults hate children, they just hate the idea of raising a child in such a volatile time.
For me it’s a mix of, I have health concerns that I don’t wanna pass down, the biggest is financial. I can’t afford daycare, diapers, food, and Healthcare for a child in America. Its totally untenable
If you’re from America, go to the grocery store and buy enough good clean healthy groceries for yourself for a week. Now add a spouse, and a kid. First few years add diapers, then add school, clothes…I don’t know how anybody has a kid.
Because of a super bad childhood, I am not mentally fit to be a father, nor do I want to bring a child into this world who is just going into the working class meat grinder. It’s cruel.
I LOVE children. That being said I have a high regard for how they should be raised and don’t think I can give all I would want to. I believe parents should give their all to their children… And I’m not in a place where I am willing or able to do so.
Being childfree doesn’t mean you have some sort of irrational hatred of children. I’m childfree because I’ve never wanted to be pregnant and raise humans. I love sleeping in and my house is quiet.
I don’t dislike children, but I’ve no desire to be a parent.
There’s nothing wrong with deciding one way or the other, nor does the reason, if any, matter.
In terms of any societal expectation, I’d rather not have children, than have them because I’m expected to do so, and end up resenting them or otherwise being a bad parent because I didn’t want them in the first place.
Well, first and foremost I’m gay, so it’s not gonna happen by accident. Also because I can’t afford to purchase a child and all accessories. And also because I don’t think the world is going in the right direction when it comes to quality of human life and I don’t want to bring a new person into being, nor be responsible for one and having to explain to them why things are so shitty.
I think the dislike of children is due to lack of parenting. 99% of the time a kid is acting out in public, the parents are doing nothing to curb the behavior. I’m noticing this more post-COVID.
Personally I’ve never liked kids, even when I was a kid myself. They were rude and loud and abrasive, and I was more comfortable by myself.
Finally, even if I did want kids at some point, it’s just not feasible anymore. I make enough to live comfortably but even that is getting harder to do.
I can’t afford a nice life for my wife, myself and a kid. We can afford to have a decent life without children though. I’d love to but I’m not raising a kid in poverty.
I personally like children but I find the weird way parents treat them like Gods who will be CEO of something after their music and soccer career are over and cant associate with anyone that doesn’t have kids their kids age is bizarre and off putting.
Let your kids have comedienne and enjoy your life
I don’t dislike kids – I used to work with them and actually love kids. But I wouldn’t bring a child into this world at this time. I’ve seen some of the background conversations between banks and insurance companies, and climate change is very, very real. I’ve seen the changes occurring in real time in my industry and I think humanity is going to be in for a Very Bad Time within what would be my potential children’s lifetime. I also think my country is hovering too closely to fascism and will not give them the satisfaction of breeding for them.
Women are free to choose to have children (mostly)
Men don’t want them too. Some prefer their quiet lives.
We lack true community. The news has made us not trust others, so we fear leaving our babies with others or even leaning on them for guidance. We just see social media TradWives who lie about their whole lives
To that end, retirement is much later so grandparents stepping in to watch the kids – only if you’re lucky
Housing with a yard – good luck affording it!
Childcare – good luck affording it!
Saving for college or even your own retirement – good luck affording it!
The world is already overpopulated, and what kind of world are any kids born today going to inherit?
The planet would be better off with fewer humans or even if we let ourselves slowly die out through lowered birth rate (or more likely self-destruction)
Comments
Economy
I don’t hate kids, but I’m not equipped to be a parent and even if I was this isn’t the kind of world I would want to bring a child into
one reason is because we see how horrible this world can be. also we’re noticing how stressful parenting is for family and friends, so we decided to opt out.
Too expensive. Won’t be able to have as many toys.
It’s not “these days”. Countless people had kids because of societal pressure. They thought they had to get married, have kids, etc.
Now we know better.
We don’t hate kids we just understand that you can live a fulfilling life without them. We don’t want the responsibility or financial burden. We choose to live our lives for us not someone else.
Not responsible enough for a kid.
Wow I was wondering where our daily question of this was.
They dislike the parenting not the kid IMO. There are no more “inside voices” or places without kids. Adults drag kids everywhere and then stick a screen in front of their faces to entertain them and always “forget”the headphones. It’s people becoming ruder and treating every public place like their living rooms. It’s just more noticeable with kids as there are a lot more growing up with this being normal.
Simple answer I’m selfish and I cannot see myself at 3am holding a crying child for the 5th sleepless night in a row.
The deeper answer I at 28 am doing well for myself on an individual level. Throw a child into that and I will feel poor and on top of that I will wouldn’t know the route to make sure that kid gets everything they deserve. If I can be confident that I can give that child the world before they are born idk if I should bring them into this world.
Also my sister gave me 3 nephews
It’s not that we dislike children, it’s more than the cost of children is more and more untenable.
There are twice as many people on this planet today as there were 50 years ago. That’s an extra 4 billion people added in just a little bit longer than I’ve been alive. We don’t need any more. The world is already overpopulated.
I absolutely love kids but am choosing not to have them. I do not feel comfortable bringing a new life into the world as it is now, plus the costs are absurd.
Also, although I love kids, I do not love parents.
Capitalism has sucked the fun out of childhood and teenagehood and adulthood. People cant enjoy themselves anymore so they want more time to do it without having to be responsible. At least for millennials. Also the breakdown of church attendance and nuclear family dogmas.
They need an inordinate amount of patience and attention. I’d rather spend that on myself.
We learned there were childless people living fulfilling lives. Many of us also come from divorced parents and have no reason to believe we won’t be divorced ourselves one day. I don’t think we are interested in being single parents. Even when I see people my age with children now, I don’t feel any sense of envy. I see adults who look like they’re just kind of over it and desperate to socialize with people about things not related to their kids.
Because it’s a significantly more financially burdensome process than it was 40 years ago.
I had the time to reflect on expectations, norms, culture, tradition, etc and decided I have better things to do with my time.
No one can afford to raise kids.
They expensive.
I’ve disliked kids since I was a kid. Little cousins, friends younger siblings. I’ve always found them challenging and annoying and it’s never gone away.
People say “it’s different when it’s your own” but when I already consciously don’t want kids it would be crazy to risk it in hopes that I somehow ‘see the light’.
Now that I’m older, I’m fairly sure it was the ADHD and sensory sensitivity all along.
From a biological perspective many animals cant or wont reproduce when under extreme stress.
The world economy is under rubber band stress and the rich keep pulling it and pulling it.
We can all feel the stress. Most people wanting children these days are doing it because their religion or culture demands it. Or, because they’ve wanted to for so long they are sick of waiting.
Both approaches have a very “damn the consequences” approach.
For centuries there have been people who do not want to have children but part of the rules of society did not give them the option of not having them, imagine that in the time of your grandparents someone would have said “I do want to get married but not have children” it would not have made sense.
As today you can already externalize that notion and live without social problems that is why people are encouraged to make it public not so much that more people change their minds.
Although I don’t deny that certain current movements promote not having children as a criticism of social models.
Kids are so overrated. If you must, have one and do a really fucking good job.
As a woman—because we (mostly) finally have a choice?
Let me count the ways…
Honestly, I’d be a teacher again before I have a kid. I like kids. They’re cute and fun. I also like that they’re not mine, and I can keep doing my thing and enjoying my life how it is. If you want kids? Great. But more people SHOULD be asking, “Why do I want a kid?” So many unwanted or neglected kids are born every day. That would decrease if people really put in the thought to what having a child entails.
Nah dude. I don’t dislike kids. I’m just not emotionally available or selfless enough to lookout for them.
I think a big reason is actually just us accepting that you don’t HAVE to have kids.
It was always the done thing. You grow up, you get married, you have kids, that is how life goes.
I’m in my thirties and I’ve never wanted kids. But I don’t think I really actually knew that was an option until the last ten years or so. Before then, I hated the idea but it was just what I would need to do one day. And when I say an option- I knew logically I could choose not to have kids. But it seemed so rare people felt the same that if I wanted to find a life partner, being child free wasn’t really on the table.
Think about people who grew up with abusive parents. I bet a non-insignificant amount of them never wanted to be parents and decided to blame the children they had instead of society for making them think it was never an option.
Not having kids doesn’t mean you dislike or are somehow anti-kid.
With the lack of affordable childcare and both people working to pay the basics how can they have children?
Lack of hope in the future aaaaaand… kids are expensive as FUCK these days.
They don’t wanna have someone who’ll experience the complication and hardships of life. Additionally, with our economy, it’s even hard to survive single let alone with a child, it’s just so expensive
The lack of money
I just dont want a kid, thats it.
The generational trauma ends with me – I’m simply not fit to be a mother and I’m honest about it (something my parents should’ve probably considered themselves…).
Also, the world is awful, I don’t have the financial means, I’m also very single and I just don’t think I could cope with sleepless nights and tantrums 🤷🏻♀️
Our parents were awful and the economy is in shambles
Life is too expensive.
Many adults have always disliked children (or at least not wanted to be parents), but social pressure and practicality gave them fewer choices about having them.
Dad had kids to pass on his legacy.
His legacy is mental illness, narcissism and trauma.
No.
They can’t even afford rent.
People can’t afford them! Americans are still paying off a student debt, the world economy is pretty bad. In America it, costs about $20k more or less, to give birth in a hospital. Having children keeps poor people poor and/or reliant on government assistance and keeps them from moving up in the world by running them ragged in the daily multi-job grind to feed another mouth or more. In America and elsewhere housing is not great with too little housing, too expensive housing, or too many restrictions to build a house. Denmark seems pretty good but their four person bikes look stupid /s. Wars are on the doorstep of many nations and human rights are being trampled. I don’t think it is fair to say that adults hate children, they just hate the idea of raising a child in such a volatile time.
For me it’s a mix of, I have health concerns that I don’t wanna pass down, the biggest is financial. I can’t afford daycare, diapers, food, and Healthcare for a child in America. Its totally untenable
There is literally no help.
If you’re from America, go to the grocery store and buy enough good clean healthy groceries for yourself for a week. Now add a spouse, and a kid. First few years add diapers, then add school, clothes…I don’t know how anybody has a kid.
Because of a super bad childhood, I am not mentally fit to be a father, nor do I want to bring a child into this world who is just going into the working class meat grinder. It’s cruel.
Because they are learning that they *can* choose…
I LOVE children. That being said I have a high regard for how they should be raised and don’t think I can give all I would want to. I believe parents should give their all to their children… And I’m not in a place where I am willing or able to do so.
Being childfree doesn’t mean you have some sort of irrational hatred of children. I’m childfree because I’ve never wanted to be pregnant and raise humans. I love sleeping in and my house is quiet.
I don’t dislike children, but I’ve no desire to be a parent.
There’s nothing wrong with deciding one way or the other, nor does the reason, if any, matter.
In terms of any societal expectation, I’d rather not have children, than have them because I’m expected to do so, and end up resenting them or otherwise being a bad parent because I didn’t want them in the first place.
*gestures broadly at everything”
Well, first and foremost I’m gay, so it’s not gonna happen by accident. Also because I can’t afford to purchase a child and all accessories. And also because I don’t think the world is going in the right direction when it comes to quality of human life and I don’t want to bring a new person into being, nor be responsible for one and having to explain to them why things are so shitty.
Math.
I don’t have anything I can’t afford.
Too much work
I didn’t like other children when I was a child. Why would I want to make more when I’m an adult?
they are TOO expensive and you don’t always get a good ROI
I think the dislike of children is due to lack of parenting. 99% of the time a kid is acting out in public, the parents are doing nothing to curb the behavior. I’m noticing this more post-COVID.
Personally I’ve never liked kids, even when I was a kid myself. They were rude and loud and abrasive, and I was more comfortable by myself.
Finally, even if I did want kids at some point, it’s just not feasible anymore. I make enough to live comfortably but even that is getting harder to do.
I don’t think people’s feelings have changed much, more that it’s more and more ok to be childfree and say so whereas women didn’t have the choice
I can’t afford a nice life for my wife, myself and a kid. We can afford to have a decent life without children though. I’d love to but I’m not raising a kid in poverty.
I personally like children but I find the weird way parents treat them like Gods who will be CEO of something after their music and soccer career are over and cant associate with anyone that doesn’t have kids their kids age is bizarre and off putting.
Let your kids have comedienne and enjoy your life
I don’t dislike kids – I used to work with them and actually love kids. But I wouldn’t bring a child into this world at this time. I’ve seen some of the background conversations between banks and insurance companies, and climate change is very, very real. I’ve seen the changes occurring in real time in my industry and I think humanity is going to be in for a Very Bad Time within what would be my potential children’s lifetime. I also think my country is hovering too closely to fascism and will not give them the satisfaction of breeding for them.
Probably a mix of a few things:
I have better things to do with my time, I can’t think of a worse ROI and a worse deal for women
I think the more interesting question is why do people choose to have them?
I think people didn’t like kids back then, either.
Children should be seen, not heard, was a common sentiment.
We just have the option to not have kids now.
It’s too expensive.
They (children) have no reasonable future as anything but corporate slaves, or witnesses to increasing environmental catastrophe.
Humanity sucks, so it has not earned my progeny.
The world is already overpopulated, and what kind of world are any kids born today going to inherit?
The planet would be better off with fewer humans or even if we let ourselves slowly die out through lowered birth rate (or more likely self-destruction)