I’m not even talking about romance or anything sexual. Just… that calm they can bring.
Like, you walk into the room all tense from your day, and she just puts a hand on your chest and says, “It’s okay, you’re home now.”
And boom – the weight on your shoulders drops a bit.
None of my buddies ever did that. Closest thing I got from a dude was “you good?” followed by a fist bump.
It’s wild how much we crave softness and how rare it feels as a man over 40.
Anyone else feel this?
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Because that’s how we evolved.
Yes, when you have a partner who chooses to use her “feminine energy” for calming purposes. I can assure you they’re also entirely capable of using it to nag and pout; then it’s not so calming anymore.
A good woman is a miraculous thing but don’t undervalue good male friends.
Mine brings just the opposite, stress and anxiety – – – – thus my divorce. 😅
It’s because it’s the only time you’re that vulnerable. With your buddies your guard is going to be up, plus physical touch increases serotonin which is the feeling you’re describing
Lucky you. I’ll let you know what that happens. Women tend to seek out drama, which then becomes YOUR drama because they aren’t generally emotionally mature enough to handle it.
It’s intoxicating like a drug, then the mask falls off.
Ground yourselves gentlemen. If she can acted grounded so can you.
Yup it’s a thing and it’s why I don’t date men with female best friends! They are definitely getting this feminine energy from them and it can make their day! No thanks! I wanna be THE woman that gives my man this energy and I want to be THE ONE he seeks for a happy grounding place NOT his female bestie! Bring on the downvotes LOL idc I know Reddit hates comments like this. Idc tho cuz I’m not a hypocrite as I have no male friends
Because my mom is feminine and she used to ground me.
Because men are conditioned to only let themselves be emotionally vulnerable to their significant other
You can have friendships like that but they’re challenging to form within the paradigm of a heteronormativity patriarchy.
This kind of energy may be a powerful thing you can bring to your friends to help be that kind of relaxing presence for them
Maybe it’s a evolutionary payoff? I mean for all the stress we put ourselves through to keep a woman happy
I have no idea but you’re onto something. There is a calm when feel in a somewhat free autonomous environment
Anyone can do this to others. I think women typically focus more on providing this.
Do you know of men who do?
I do. I am a private chef and one of the focuses is to make their home feel like it is their home again.
I know several men who can do this. They provide the right energy that puts people at ease.
Is that feminine energy? I think it is just being welcoming.
I’m not a scientist or anything, but I’m pretty sure when a woman puts a hand on you, it causes your brain to release some kind of natural sedative that makes you feel warm and relaxed.
Also, whenever women are in charge of specific rooms or domiciles, those places tend to smell nicer and feel fresher.
Those women are rare, though.
I’ve never felt this at all tbh.
i have never known a woman to bring calm. only the opposite
For me 42m, it’s just peaceful (with the right woman) with my gf for example, I am completely at peace as soon as I am in her presence in a way I’ve never experienced. I don’t have the need to feel masculine, I know I can express my feelings, I can be me without fear of judgment. But my time with guy friends is invaluable in a different way, I can let loose and blow off steam. It’s almost like were programmed for 2 different things in a way. And I can tell you this, I can do the same with my guy friends if my gf is there as she is super cool and almost “one of the guys” but I can’t do the same with my guy friends as I do in my gf presence. I think it’s just instinctual in a way.
When you talk about “energy,” you lose about half your audience. Just wanted to mention that for your consideration
Part of the reason my buddies remain my buddies is because they never do that.
Feminine energy for me does the exact opposite to me.
Yin and yang. It’s quite literally nature.
It’s deep in our nature.
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18, KJV
I’m a venal, flawed man like anyone else.
But I do believe.
That’s not a feminine energy that’s an energy we all need. It’s a nurture energy that is associated with women a lot. However I envy you sir.
I don’t have that and I have to deal with people who just want me fade away and live in pain alone.
You got something wonderful. I would give almost anything for that. Not my dog, though, she’s my baby girl.
Its almost like the two were made for each other to fill in the gaps the other has.
I don’t know what it is but its extremely grounding. The few times its happened to me, I have never forgotten.
Men are socialized to repress our emotions which means the average man is less emotionally open than the average woman. When two men meet it usually takes significantly longer for there to be meaningful emotional vulnerability than when two women meet.
Gonna be honest with you pal, that’s rare.
It’s grounding because it’s the very thing that we were taught to never be. This is why there’s no right of passage so to speak for womanhood. womanhood is just something that happens to girls. They just wake up one day and are considered a woman. that’s just not the case for men becoming a man is a choice. you have to actively overcome a lot of human programming to be deemed worthy of being considered a man by society. Hell, I know a lot of guys in their 50s that most people still don’t consider men because they just never develop the sense of personal responsibility self discipline, providing for others etc. in that sense I would say that feminine energy is really just the human energy that we’ve been discouraged from accessing or acknowledging in ourselves.
I assume that if I was gay, I’d feel the same about a man doing. this seems like romantic attraction kinda play a part
I’ve heard the inverse too. Women sometimes say, “I feel safe around you” which I think is probably the same.
Why would my friends be inside my house before I arrive home to begin with?
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Excuse me?
Good male friends bring a different sort of grounding. If you have a male friend that listens, it’s rare, but amazingly helpful. Sometimes they’re good for helping blow off steam too. But I understand what you mean. Romance has been rare in my life, but even a gentle touch from a female friend or family member is completely different than a bro hug.
Worlds tough and I feel like men are expected to stay strong and carry a lot of burdens. It’s nice to have soft moments of healing.
Never had that experience.