Because a lot of them only learn after the fact that they had something good going, and they don’t want to face the idea that they’re at least partially responsible for it not working out.
A lot of men also have Main Character Syndrome, so their exes are part of their “epic story” about themselves.
Oh my god this reminds me of a guy I’d been on a couple of dates with about 15 years ago, he’d mentioned his ex on every date but nothing that felt too red flag-ish. Until date 3! We go back to his place and he starts ranting about how much of a bitch his ex is, how she left him because he wasn’t cool and tattooed enough, and getting himself so triggered that he goes to find some of her drawings (she was an artist) and starts ripping them up in front of me like a toddler while still manically verbally abusing her, and then set one on fire 😵💫
have been on both sides of this coin: dated a guy who lovebombed me because he was using our connection to attempt to get over his ex, but realized he couldn’t and would rather be unhappy and in her orbit for the rest of his life than pull himself out of that dynamic and forge something new and healthy with someone else. it was a hot mess and in hindsight, i do appreciate he ended things after several weeks and not months or years, but that was an incredibly messed up situation.
the other side is my ex immediately getting into a new relationship and rushing to get married, all under 1 year of our breakup. we were together for >5 years and engaged – he was never excited about getting married and didn’t really see the value, but suddenly after the breakup, he is a Completely Changed Man. another bullet dodged, and the most fascinating thing is that his wife knows everything about his previous relationship with me and yet still wanted to get married.
Comments
Because a lot of them only learn after the fact that they had something good going, and they don’t want to face the idea that they’re at least partially responsible for it not working out.
A lot of men also have Main Character Syndrome, so their exes are part of their “epic story” about themselves.
A lot of them don’t like to put in the work to self-reflect and heal before looking for someone else to fill the void.
Oh my god this reminds me of a guy I’d been on a couple of dates with about 15 years ago, he’d mentioned his ex on every date but nothing that felt too red flag-ish. Until date 3! We go back to his place and he starts ranting about how much of a bitch his ex is, how she left him because he wasn’t cool and tattooed enough, and getting himself so triggered that he goes to find some of her drawings (she was an artist) and starts ripping them up in front of me like a toddler while still manically verbally abusing her, and then set one on fire 😵💫
have been on both sides of this coin: dated a guy who lovebombed me because he was using our connection to attempt to get over his ex, but realized he couldn’t and would rather be unhappy and in her orbit for the rest of his life than pull himself out of that dynamic and forge something new and healthy with someone else. it was a hot mess and in hindsight, i do appreciate he ended things after several weeks and not months or years, but that was an incredibly messed up situation.
the other side is my ex immediately getting into a new relationship and rushing to get married, all under 1 year of our breakup. we were together for >5 years and engaged – he was never excited about getting married and didn’t really see the value, but suddenly after the breakup, he is a Completely Changed Man. another bullet dodged, and the most fascinating thing is that his wife knows everything about his previous relationship with me and yet still wanted to get married.
for both genders: put in the goddamn work.