Hi all, I’m (23F) looking for some perspective because I’m struggling with how much my boyfriend’s involvement in crypto is affecting me emotionally as well as our finances.
He’s (28M) very deep into meme coin communities. He posts constantly on Twitter, leaves comments on coins on Pump fun, and is always trying to get likes, attention, and engagement. He’s constantly being added to meme coin group chats and getting messages non stop. He says he’s “engaging with the community so the chart goes higher,” but to me it feels like he’s performing for internet strangers and chasing validation 24/7. I mean he’s changed his entire online identity and has become anonymous, using cringey buzzwords like “scaling the team” and “improving the tek.” He changed his twitter bio to “sports betting and meme coins 🦅” and now only follows crypto accounts. Sometimes I’ll see him writing out a tweet only for him to delete it and reword it a bunch of times trying to sound like a meme coin prophet and ease people of their “FOMO” or something. And sometimes he’ll turn to me and repeat word for word the tweet he deleted trying to start a conversation with me about it. It’s so weird and It’s extremely cringe and it’s making me lose respect for him because he’s turned into an online degenerate who tries to sound smart but just sounds ridiculous.
Recently, we watched a movie together (a rare moment where he put his phone down), and he ended up missing a coin launch. He got really upset slamming things, punching the couch, and saying things like “Look what happens when I try to spend time with my girlfriend.” Instead of being proud that he was finally present with me for once (because we’ve been having the same argument over and over about how he doesn’t spend quality time with me anymore), he regretted it because he missed out on money.
I’ve tried to tell myself it’s “just a hobby” or “not inherently inappropriate,” but it keeps bothering me. Sometimes it honestly feels like he’s emotionally cheating with this entire online persona and community. I feel like I’m not interesting to him anymore, like he saves the best of himself for Twitter and leaves nothing for me. Not to mention the increase in sexualized images of women being shown to him as a result of all of this meme coin bs. The crypto bro accounts he follows post the most vulgar “memes” around women that are extremely offensive and the fact that they’re using them as a currency to pump up their bags makes it worse, but he says because he doesn’t engage with those specific posts it has nothing to do with him. But it does, because the environment he’s putting himself in online is a breeding ground for it and I’ve seen the changes first hand what is shown to him now compared to when he was just into football twitter.
I don’t want to be controlling. I don’t want to “monitor” him. But this obsession with crypto makes me feel lonely, dismissed, and disconnected and I’m losing respect for him because he doesn’t see it as a problem. He also blew all of his savings on this stuff so to me it seems like this is just another outlet for his gambling addiction.
So I guess my questions are why does this bother me so deeply and what can I do to either stop caring so much or communicate this better? He’s already told me it makes him happy and he’s not stopping for me even though it’s causing a lot of strain in the relationship.
Any input is appreciated. Thanks.
TL;DR: My boyfriend is obsessed with crypto meme coins and constantly seeks attention online through Twitter and coin comment sections. The way he talks is like someone I don’t recognize and it makes me cringe and lose respect for him because he’s turning into a crypto degenerate. He got angry after missing a coin because he was watching a movie with me, saying “look what happens when I try to spend time with my girlfriend.” It made me feel like a burden and emotionally replaced by his online world. I don’t want to be controlling, but it hurts. Why does this bother me so much, and what can I do about it?
Comments
Because it points to the larger issue that he’s intellectually and emotionally immature.
He is exploring a new identity that is very different than the one you fell in love with, and it’s natural that you don’t like it. You didn’t fall in love with a guy who goes on social media to get all his validation and prioritizes crypto and memes over real life. These communities are also steeped in misogyny and just collect some of the worst losers out there. This is so off-putting to you, because your relatively normal bf turned into a crypto-bro loser. I would drop him and find somebody who has their own identity already and does not want that to be part of their life.
these AI posts have like 3 different voices and they’re so boring