Backstory: This friend, we’ll call him Adam (37), is someone I (28F) have known almost my whole life. His family has been friends with my family for decades as they all grew up in a small town together. I never talked to him, he only hung out with my dad’s friends at parties, festivals, or the lake if we were all together.
Present: When I was 24, I was single and bought my first home. A couple weeks after I did, Adam came up to me at a festival and asked me about it since he knew of the small town where I moved but not many people have heard of it. I remember going up to my mom when we were done talking and telling her I couldn’t believe he talked to me.
Several months later, we were at the lake for a holiday weekend and Adam’s friends were there as well. He must have gone to bed early because I stayed up and hung out with some friends with his friends. Eventually, one of those friends became my boyfriend. A couple weeks later, I had a party at my house and Adam was invited. He was the first person to respond as “going” mind you and in the last year was the first to like my profile picture when it was changed… This man has had a girlfriend for the last 11 years and it is known through some of our friends that he isn’t afraid to cheat on her when he wants. Well, I guess Adam hadn’t spoken to my boyfriend since that holiday weekend, so he didn’t know we were seeing each other til he got to the party. His face dropped when he got out of his truck and asked my boyfriend why he was there and seemed uncomfortable. That whole night, he was a huge asshole to everyone and pointed out and made fun of my boyfriend and I for holding hands at one point. I told my mom and best friend all this, who were also there, and they said he must’ve had a plan to try and hook up with me and was disappointed to see one of his friends got to me first.
That was three years ago and I’m still with my boyfriend and we see Adam often when we go out or go to the lake with friends. He’s always nice towards me and calls me “honey” but doesn’t seem to call anyone else that. But, at the same time, he’s always trying to confront me about something or twist my words like he’s trying to ruin my confidence or shut me down in conversation when we’re with our friends.
Adam also hung out with my boyfriend and I one night and plain as day flirted with a girl at the bar. One of her friends started talking to me and I told the friend he had a girlfriend (girl code and I didn’t want her to get her hopes up). The friend didn’t tell her til the next day and she called Adam and confronted him about this. A few months later when I saw him next, Adam waas drunk and told me about the girl calling him and asking him if he had a girlfriend and that I had told them that he did. He said he couldn’t believe that I did that and that it wasn’t any of my business. I told him I was always going to be a girls girl and tell if he’s trying to cheat for his girlfriend and the other girl’s sake. I asked him if they were split up during that time or if they had an open relationship and he said no so I said well then I was stating a fact what’s wrong with that? He kept saying it was whatever and all good but he was angry that I did that because he felt like I went behind his back. He was drunk and rambling so there was no reasoning with him at that point.
He’s still friendly to me and calls me honey but still tries to single me out and make me feel uncomfortable or dumb when in a group conversation. So, what the hell is going on? Is he mad that I didn’t sleep with him and that my boyfriend, one of his good friends, is dating me? Does he have a crush on me? Is he jealous of our relationship? What does his behavior mean?
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Backup of the post’s body: Backstory: This friend, we’ll call him Adam (37), is someone I (28F) have known almost my whole life. His family has been friends with my family for decades as they all grew up in a small town together. I never talked to him, he only hung out with my dad’s friends at parties, festivals, or the lake if we were all together.
Present: When I was 24, I was single and bought my first home. A couple weeks after I did, Adam came up to me at a festival and asked me about it since he knew of the small town where I moved but not many people have heard of it. I remember going up to my mom when we were done talking and telling her I couldn’t believe he talked to me.
Several months later, we were at the lake for a holiday weekend and Adam’s friends were there as well. He must have gone to bed early because I stayed up and hung out with some friends with his friends. Eventually, one of those friends became my boyfriend. A couple weeks later, I had a party at my house and Adam was invited. He was the first person to respond as “going” mind you and in the last year was the first to like my profile picture when it was changed… This man has had a girlfriend for the last 11 years and it is known through some of our friends that he isn’t afraid to cheat on her when he wants. Well, I guess Adam hadn’t spoken to my boyfriend since that holiday weekend, so he didn’t know we were seeing each other til he got to the party. His face dropped when he got out of his truck and asked my boyfriend why he was there and seemed uncomfortable. That whole night, he was a huge asshole to everyone and pointed out and made fun of my boyfriend and I for holding hands at one point. I told my mom and best friend all this, who were also there, and they said he must’ve had a plan to try and hook up with me and was disappointed to see one of his friends got to me first.
That was three years ago and I’m still with my boyfriend and we see Adam often when we go out or go to the lake with friends. He’s always nice towards me and calls me “honey” but doesn’t seem to call anyone else that. But, at the same time, he’s always trying to confront me about something or twist my words like he’s trying to ruin my confidence or shut me down in conversation when we’re with our friends.
Adam also hung out with my boyfriend and I one night and plain as day flirted with a girl at the bar. One of her friends started talking to me and I told the friend he had a girlfriend (girl code and I didn’t want her to get her hopes up). The friend didn’t tell her til the next day and she called Adam and confronted him about this. A few months later when I saw him next, Adam waas drunk and told me about the girl calling him and asking him if he had a girlfriend and that I had told them that he did. He said he couldn’t believe that I did that and that it wasn’t any of my business. I told him I was always going to be a girls girl and tell if he’s trying to cheat for his girlfriend and the other girl’s sake. I asked him if they were split up during that time or if they had an open relationship and he said no so I said well then I was stating a fact what’s wrong with that? He kept saying it was whatever and all good but he was angry that I did that because he felt like I went behind his back. He was drunk and rambling so there was no reasoning with him at that point.
He’s still friendly to me and calls me honey but still tries to single me out and make me feel uncomfortable or dumb when in a group conversation. So, what the hell is going on? Is he mad that I didn’t sleep with him and that my boyfriend, one of his good friends, is dating me? Does he have a crush on me? Is he jealous of our relationship? What does his behavior mean?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.