Why does my gf (22F) talk less when I (24M) come around but is very talkative when I’m not?

r/

I noticed for sometime now that my girlfriend is super talkative when I’m not around. When I join her and her friends she tends to just disconnect. For example me and my girlfriend tend to game a lot but sometimes I’ll be out doing other things while-she is on the game playing with people(we are on FaceTime still) . She’ll be crazy talkative non stop with them but then when I join she just goes silent. I’m starting to feel some type of way because if I bring up anything she becomes so stressed out and cry’s.

Comments

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  2. MightySD69 Avatar

    Maybe she’s scared to talk freely in front of others around you. Have you asked her why?

  3. TheBird_Is_The_Word Avatar

    She will cry when you ask her why she gets more reserved when you’re not around? Thats a bit odd of a response. Especially when you know what is being talked about while youre gone since your on FaceTime.

    Also, how much are you on FaceTime while not with her? This seems a bit excessive and doesn’t leave space for you each to grow individually as people.

    Anyway, maybe try a different form of communication. See what way she would feel better discussing it because communication is key for a relationship to work. Maybe she can write it down. Maybe you could FaceTime about it. Maybe in the dark, so the pressure of eye contact is not there. You can give her a heads up that you want to discuss it again, but then give her time to collect her thoughts. And then maybe give her a little bit after she says what she has to say. Just build a safe space. If she can not openly communicate when you’re actively trying to create a safe space for it, then that will lead to many issues down the road. So, keep that in mind.

  4. UsuallyWrite2 Avatar

    When she’s with her friends it’s one dynamic. When you join, it’s another dynamic. Most people behave a little differently depending on who is around.