Idk if this is stupid or what but I’ve just been feeling very overwhelmed lately with this whole situation
My mom has made it very clear that they are moving in next week even tho she asked what I thought about it and I said no
Mind you we live in a small ass apartment 2 bedroom 2 bathrooms
I am 15 I have my own room and my mom sleeps with my 6 year old brother and my 10year old brothers bed fits there too
How tffffff would this man and his daughter who is 16 fit
I just don’t fucking get it she wants me to live with this girl who I don’t know nor do I want to get to know
My mom is 33 and this man is like 47 he is so immature disrespectful to my mom and just mean
I don’t feel comfortable with these people I’m not even comfortable around my own family wtf do I dooooooo
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Is your dad available?
Can you contact your dad, or relative, and ask them to tell Mom not to do this? It’s ridiculous! I’m so very sorry, OP, but at this point, if family won’t tell her, go to your counselor at school. Occupancy laws vary, but CPS will to know about a man and to may kids for 2 rooms. You will need to speak up to family or authorities at school.
Please take care of yourself. This is just awful. Find your voice. Get to a safe adult, and talk.
Be safe, Internet Friend.
If you are in the US, many apartments have occupancy limits set by the town they are in. This is a fire code and safety issue.
CPS also has guidelines on how many kids can be put in a room, at what genders and at what ages.
You’re SOL on being a teen girl asked to share a room with another teen girl, but having the boys crammed into a room with unmarried adults is getting into weird territory.
Look up local laws on apartment occupancy limits. Point these out to mom that you will get evicted if the landlord finds out. Can you get locks for your things? You will be sharing your room with a stranger.
She might care but feel she has no choice. Your 2 bedroom apartment already sounds pretty full with 4 people. For her to take on two more people sounds too overcrowded. Could she be struggling financially? this be the only way she can pay the rent & avoid eviction?
What she isn’t thinking about are capacity limits for a 2 bedroom apartment by the landlord and the city/state housing department. Child Services will probably also have concerns with how little privacy the kids have and that the boys are sleeping with the adults.
I totally understand your perspective. I do think you shouldn’t have to be in an overcrowded tiny apartment with this strange man and his daughter. It’s got to be hard for you.
What’s the status of your father ? You’re getting to the age where you have say in which parent you live with. Can you move in with him?
For a little perspective here –
I recently needed to move my ex-husband into my house. I’m not thrilled about it. We don’t have room, so he’s sleeping on the couch. It’s awkward for everyone.
I asked my kids how they felt about it, because I really wanted to know. But ultimately, it didn’t matter… If he doesn’t stay here, he’ll be sleeping in his car. So I’m sorry if they’re uncomfortable, and I am too, but this is what we have to do right now.
This might be one of the times when the parent is asking the kid what their opinion is, but the choice is already made because it needs to be a certain way.
yuck.
My guess is that Mom will sleep with ex, his daughter will sleep with you, and your brother will sleep on the couch or with you.
But ask your mom. This may be a way to handle it: Ask your mom where people are going to sleep. Ask the ex if they are ok, with a 10 year old boy watching him fuck your mom. Ask the girl how she feels about shareing a bedroom with you. Ask your brother how he feels about sleeping in the living room.
Ask them all about how they feel about going to bed at 9 o’clock so that your brother can go to bed at a reasonable time.
Ask how the moring routine will work. Will mom and ex be happy about one person shaving while another showers and shits? Will his daugter and your brother be ok sharing the other bathroom.
Your brother is going to start nutting soon. Ask your mom how she feels about semen stains on the sofa?
Lot of people don’t figure out the logistics ahead of time. Concentrate on telling each person how much this will impact them.
While you are at it: Having as strange male under your roof, both you and your brother are at increased risk of child sexual assault. Both you and your brother should keep an audio recorder app on your home screen. Make a point of quickly turning it on, switching apps, and blanking the screen when someone walks into your room. You want at least a tape recording of him grooming you, trying to seduce you , or him raping you.
Good luck.
There is probably a clause in the lease that says how long people who are not signed on the lease can stay in the apartment. The lease usually refers to them as “visitors,” but they’re not. If the lease is violated, your landlord can kick your family out of your home.
The lease probably has a clause that no one who is not signed on the lease can live there. Again, violation of the lease can get your family kicked out.
Your mom should know that there are laws in your jurisdiction that define what a tenant and lodger are. They are two different things. The laws will say how long either one can stay in a home before the lease holder (your mom) cannot just boot them out if she gets pissed at them; they (the tenant or lodger) have to be legally evicted if they don’t leave willingly. The time frame is usually 30 days of living there but it might be different in your jurisdiction; the laws are usually different for a tenant vs lodger, so read both of them.
Evicting the ex BF and daughter is expensive and takes a surprisingly long time. Months. During that time they know legal eviction proceedings have started, and things are usually deeply unpleasant and maybe unsafe at home
Your mom needs to know all of this.
Tell her if she does that then you’re going to report her to your landlord. That grown 47 yr old man is more than capable of taking care of himself, but I’m sure it’s easier to make your mom do it.
Good god what is it with irresponsible parents this is some resilient Jenkins level of parenting right here