My boyfriend ‘18M’ and I ‘19F’ have been dating for over 2 and a half years. Our relationship is very healthy and he’s the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. In the beginning (aka for the first year and a half) I was the one feeling really sexual. I would be the one pursuing him, and he was okay with it but it’s not what he wanted every time. And i am totally okay with that.
But now, it’s the opposite. He’s the one initiating and a lot of the times i don’t even want to have sex. Nothing that i can think of changed in the relationship besides this, but i just don’t find it appealing anymore. What should I do?
Comments
Did anything happen/change in your life?
Perhaps you no longer find him sexually appealing; he has become too comfortable in the relationship, and he’s not the same guy you initially liked.
What do you think?
Have you gotten on medication recently? Have you been stressed? Are you still finding him appealing?
Lots of things can happen that would make you not want to pursue your boyfriend sexually. A lot of medications can lower your libido, stress can too. If he’s changed his appearance lately, it could be that. If you just aren’t feeling as close (nonsexual intimacy is very important!) try doing some things to bring you closer together without the expectation of sex.
It also could just be that you’re out of that honeymoon stage. After awhile of being together, it is completely normal to not want to have sex as often. Everyone’s libidos are different, and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex super often. However, if you are going weeks or months without wanting to when you were having sex every day or every few days before, you may need to check in on why you’re feeling that way.
As an old guy I’ll tell you what’s always been true for me.
The super sexy rip each other’s clothes off vibe tends to last 18-30 months generally.
Chances are the guy feels it dying off a little and is getting insecure about it.
Since you’re both so young you are like blank canvases and probably don’t have a deep attachment formed.
It might just be passing like most early relationships do. If you’re really bored or unsatisfied then you guys might break up.
Who knows