Why don’t people live in multigenerational homes anymore?

r/

I have noticed that a lot of friends have never lived in a multigenerational home before. (Living with parents siblings aunties uncles grandparents etc) I have lived with all of my family at one point, was it fun? No. But I haven’t seen a lot of people that live with their grandparents. ( I am 16, I didn’t have to think about the logistics of it all I just thought that it was more common than it actually is.)

Comments

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  2. Smart-Hippo-8522 Avatar

    Some people still do but it’s less common

  3. Nuryadiy Avatar

    House isn’t big enough for more than two generations

  4. Taiyella Avatar

    Id rather have my own space to be independent and to do things my family would definitely frown upon like drinking, bed rotting and the occasional Mary j.

  5. Brrdock Avatar

    Because that sounds terrible, people have the opportunity not to, and also people gotta figure themselves out outside of the same influence they’ve always been under to ever have a chance to really grow up

  6. Mag-NL Avatar

    You answered it yourself.

    ‘Was it fun? No.’

  7. iDrinkDrano Avatar

    The economic boom after WW2 allowed the following generation, the Boomers, to have a new level of independence. This, paired with a pivot towards suburban planning and the car culture caused by American manufacturing, lead to a departure from the generational homes of the Silent Generation and older.

    This is a relatively recent phenomenon in American history, and one that is decreasingly tenable due to the economy. Now, with the younger generation frequently estranged from the old, Millennials and (I believe) Gen Z are increasingly living with friends.

  8. W-S_Wannabe Avatar

    I’d hate that.

  9. azuth89 Avatar

    was it fun? No. 

    Because of this and having the ability not to. 

    A lot more people are feeling the squeeze these days, especially young folks, so you’re seeing a lot more people with their parents well into their 20s even in the states where the internet informs me we are all kicked out at 18. 

    With some rough retirement prospects looming I suspect we’ll see more grandparents folded into family homes in the future, too.

  10. rolyoh Avatar

    It may depend on country and culture. Even in the USA, there are many people who live with an aged parent out of necessity (caregiving), because the parent is unable to live alone anymore and doesn’t have the means to live elsewhere (assisted living, nursing home, etc.). I’m currently doing this for my mother, who is 85, physically disabled, and 75% blind (and losing sight gradually). As you pointed out, it’s neither easy nor fun, but I believe it’s the right thing to do.

  11. snackhappynappy Avatar

    Growing up that was seen as a sign of poverty. The goal was either to build a house next door or as far away as possible
    Depending on your relationship with your family.

  12. Electrical_Feature12 Avatar

    Big country . We’d like space

  13. Flashbambo Avatar

    They do. This is still the norm for most of the global population.

  14. ReadRightRed99 Avatar

    It still happens. In general, people are more affluent these days than in generations past. There is a broader social safety net too, with housing assistance that has negated the need to move in with family in many cases. There are still plenty of people living with parents and grandparents, though.

  15. Cold-Set849 Avatar

    There is several different situations but some could be

    How in political cultures, mainly Republicans it is viewed as “being a mooch” to live with your parents but then perfectly acceptable for a grand parent to move in, something I’ve seen countlessly in republican culture is inflicting the same negative tropes onto your kids as you received as a child. A very common example is “I turned 18 (sometimes younger) and my parents kicked me out so I’m doing the same to my kid” don’t get me wrong other political and social groups do it here and there too but I’ve seen it here the most. (Just a side note for anyone commenting I’ve never been right or left leaning)

    Another is a lot of control over the younger generations from the older ones causing the the younger generations not really live or actually become their own people, thus driving the urge to live on their own.

    Another Ive noticed as a home inspector a lot more newer houses aren’t built to accommodate multiple families. The ones that are, are usually priced so much that the youngest generation would be buying a coffin (at least to the east side of USA)

    Another sometimes families just enjoy their space from each other.

    I’m sure I’m missing a few but these seem to be the most common reason in the US.

  16. BlueberryNo5363 Avatar

    Lots of people do? I know people that live with grandparents or people that live with parents and their own kids because it’s easier to live with family than someone you don’t know.

    Maybe it’s country specific. It’s different if you have a spouse but if I had a choice I’d rather live with grandma than someone housemate I barely know

  17. bringmethejuice Avatar

    A house can’t have two queens.

    Men can live together, but women(wives)?

  18. Outlaw11091 Avatar

    …oh, they will.

    Lot of Baby Boomers still walking around just fine. Still working. The youngest boomer is 61.

    In the next decade or so, they’ll find themselves in a position where they can’t physically live alone, but can’t afford the nursing home.

    And then we’ll all reminisce about the time before we had to live with grandma and grandpa and their judgmental attitude toward our streaming sessions.

  19. HalifaxPotato Avatar

    I’d live in a house with my mother’s side of the family. If it was my father’s side, well, I’d probably lock them all in and burn it to the ground

  20. Count2Zero Avatar

    In many cases, it’s due to our changing job market.

    100 years ago, people had jobs close to their homes. Cars were not common – you either walked or rode a bicycle to get to the factory, or you worked at home (farmer, seamstress, etc.).

    50 years ago, many people had cars, but jobs were becoming more centralized – you were either a blue collar worker in a factory, or you were a white collar worker in an office. But in either case, you lived near the company. At the same time, there was a shift away from living in rural communities, with many people migrating to the cities and living in small rental apartments.

    Today, it’s possible for many white collar workers to work remotely, so some of them are moving back out of the cities to some suburban or rural homes. But their parents are still living in some small rental place in the city, and not wanting to give up that convenience.

  21. StrongDifficulty4644 Avatar

    it used to be more common, but now people move for work, schools, or independence. smaller homes and cost of living also make it harder. some still do it for culture or support, but it’s less usual now.

  22. Hiraeth90 Avatar

    You answered your own question. It isn’t fun.

  23. EvulOne99 Avatar

    This doesn’t answer the question but I wanted to share it.

    My grandma was closely involved with us kids and dearly loved by all, not just us kids.
    My grandparents on dad’s side were kinda horrible people so… No. Our aunts had moved out by the time my oldest brother was five, so we didn’t meet them much.

    I wish my grandparents had lived with us but they lived across the country and we moved to live with grandma after grandpa died when I was eight. They were both like grandparents in your favorite movie, and I am so glad I got to listen to grandma telling me all about her youth and what things she’d experienced when I lived with her for a week in my early twenties.

    I went back to visit friends and stayed with grandma for a week, and got home way past midnight, and dear grandma was sitting up, waiting for me. We chatted a bit and she went to bed. Every evening after that, I returned earlier and earlier to spend more time with her.

    When it was time to drive back, I hugged her and told her how much I loved her and how much she had meant to me, all my life. She cried, I kissed her cheek and drove off on my +1000 mile long journey back home. That was the last time I saw her. I read her a poem I had written and dropped the note in the grave at her funeral. The last lines were about how happy I was that I had said those words the last time we met.

    Make sure to tell your loved ones!

  24. RollingKatamari Avatar

    It very much depends from culture to culture. In my parents’ culture (Indian) it’s very common for at least one of the children (mostly one of the sons) to stay with his parents and when he gets married he and his wife and kids will stay with his parents.

    On paper it’s all great, you get to take care of your aging parents, kids can be looked after when parents are working, kids get a great relationship with grandparents.

    In reality having the responsibility to look after aging parents with lots of health issues is stressful and expensive. They also rely on you as the provider for the entire family. I have heard so many stories about MILs being so mean to their daughters in law. And the daughters in law are stressed as they feel they cannot be themselves, because they are living in someone else’s house. Add to that almost zero privacy and meddling from inlaws thinking they know best.

    I’m sure there are families that can make it work, but you have to compromise a lot OR earn enough money to have a house big enough with great sound insulation 😂

    With the way the world is now, I wouldn’t be surprised if multigenerational housing made a comeback since housing is so expensive. But it’s going be very difficult as houses are built much smaller now!

  25. Original_Baseball_40 Avatar

    Better to live on our own & enjoy our life instead of  following the dictatorship of elders,we already have to follow them in childhood & we are supposed to do that in adulthood too.Then what will remain difference between us & slaves

  26. MDJokerQueen Avatar

    Depends on which part of the world you in. In the Middle East, Africa and Asia, this still happens. ALOT.