why feminism is still needed; my story

hello. i am a 21 year old pakistani girl who grew up in the west yet i couldn’t escape my disgusting, misogynistic culture. since i was little, i’ve always loved feminism and what it stands for. i see people online arguing about how feminism isn’t needed and i would like to share my experiences that prove feminism is still needed and a lifeline for girls like me. this will be an incredibly long post

i was born to a family full of women who stayed at home. having jobs was almost unheard of and from a young age, it was drilled into me that my main purpose in life was to stay at home. i went to college only because it was legally required for me to stay in education. i only got a job under the agreement that i pay rent for my family. i was forbidden to go to university and fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a children’s nurse

women gaining any sort of independence is viewed in a negative light, even when they are abused. my aunt who’s husband attempted to murder her was vilified for getting a job and trying to move out. the pressure was so bad that she moved back in her husband’s home. she is miserable

now the men in my family are not good men. they are controlling and use financial abuse to control their women. they are all on benefits to support their families and my own father works 60 hours a week but he refused to let my mother worked when she asked, saying women have no business being outside the home. he says regularly that he is deeply ashamed of having a daughter who works

women are expected to cook and clean almost entirely. not a single man in my family ever even washes a dish. they wake up their wives in the middle of the night to cook for them and this is just the normal. they abuse them and insult them for not cooking well and again, it’s just accepted

women are taught from an early age to cook and clean while the men are simply taught that it’s not their job. as an example, my mother started training me up at 13 years old to be a good wife. my brother is the same age now and he doesn’t even know where the garbage can is; he leaves food on his bedroom floor and my mother throws it away for him

women have no voice and their opinions are seen as insignificant. it is commonly accepted that women are deficient in intelligence and their only purpose is to serve a man. a woman who speaks her mind is seen as the devil incarcerate. i have been beaten in the past for speaking against a male relative

women are expected to cover every inch of their bodies. they are gossiped about if an inch of hair is showing yet the men walk around shirtless and wear normal western clothing. it is disgraceful how sexualised even small children’s bodies are as mothers are told to cover up their daughters from preschool age

women are never forgiven for their mistakes. a woman who makes a mistake is forever a bad woman but if a man does the same, it is just because he’s a man. i have pedophiles and rapists in my family that are excused and still loved because they are men, but the aunt who tried to make a break for freedom is referred to as a whore

the above may shock some people but it is my reality and the reality of many women. the saddest thing is that those women don’t even realise how poorly they are being treated

i was 12 years old when i discovered what feminism was. i had searched into google ‘is it okay for a man to hit a woman’ and a feminist article came up. that discovery changed me forever. feminism made me feel like i had a voice and taught me that there was a whole group of women fought against the torturous reality that was my life

for the last decade i have suffered in silence; my only comfort being feminism and the belief that i will one day be able to find a group of people who don’t view me as automatically inferior because i am a woman. i am debating going to university now to get a nursing degree and being the first woman in my family to get a degree

i will lose contact with all of them most likely but i am determined to use my life as proof that we don’t have to adhere to the rules men have laid out for us. feminism lit up a spark in me and made me want to fight for a better life. feminism saved me and i can only thank the many women who fight for women’s rights. please don’t give up your fight, you give girls like me immense courage and hope. feminism is still needed in this world and i hope my story proves that to be true. much love