Why have I gained so much weight after finally ending an abusive relationship? When I was with him I lost so much weight to the point I looked unhealthy and now that it’s finally over I’ve gained an unhealthy amount of weight.
Why have I gained so much weight after finally ending an abusive relationship? When I was with him I lost so much weight to the point I looked unhealthy and now that it’s finally over I’ve gained an unhealthy amount of weight.
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I’ve heard that one of the reasons the cycle of abuse is so hard to break is because of the addiction to dopamine that’s caused by the highs and lows of an abusive relationship. It’s possible that your brain is seeking more highs and lows from dopamine through eating? If I’m way off someone, please tell me.
Probably because you’re no longer losing weight due to constant stress and fear. Give yourself a break – you’ve been through one of the hardest things a person can experience in life, it’s normal for your body and brain to be off kilter for a bit while you recover.
Your body was/is in survival mode both during and after the relationship. The weight loss happened when it was under stress, and now that you’re out, it’s trying to keep you from starving again.
Go see your doctor and make sure the weight gain isn’t caused something detrimental to your health, then take your time to get physically healthy while working on your mental health. You went through a very stressful event, don’t put yourself down for how your body is reacting.
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Girl same. I’m 4 years out and just starting to get myself together. I think I needed time to decompress and just learn to be and find that person in me that I lost.
When you lose a lot of weight quickly (especially due to stress) your body fights to put it back on (and more). It’s evolution, your body doesn’t know the difference between being chased by a sabertooth cat or being abused by someone you once loved. Stress is stress regardless of the circumstances.
There’s a great longterm study following contestants on The Biggest Loser for several years after they finished being on the show. Eight years later, all of them put the weight they lost back on, only one managed to not gain far more than they lost. Despite their best efforts, their metabolisms were destroyed by what they did on the show. From what we know, once destroyed a metabolism will never recover.
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I also left an abusive relationship. I am on Lexapro and gained weight…
I wholeheartedly recommend therapy. I know everyone says that, but I wish I had gotten it years ago once I got away. The comment about dopamine is spot-on. I got in the habit of drinking for the dopamine hits and created a whole other problem. Adding therapy to the work I did to fix that one has made a huge difference. I’m still overweight but I have the mental bandwidth now to engage in meaningful self-care. Also, give yourself plenty of grace and patience. You’ve been through a lot and you’re stronger than you think!
I am kinda at the same place, though I’m only at 10 pounds over where I was for years. (I’m not tall at all, though.)
I think for me it was a combination of finally finding eating tolerable and then enjoyable, like it should be, and a slowed metabolism from essentially not eating for over a year and a half.
And, yeah, it might be uncomfortable, but my hair isn’t falling out anymore, and I’m not sad all the time.
It might also take a bit of time for it to go back down after you start to find things that make you happy again, things you find enjoyable, things to look forward to.
Was he poisoning you or drugging you? Were you not sleeping enough to digest well, or were you burning food with adrenaline? All possibilities
I’d bet good money it’s because you were stressed. And now that you’re not in constant fight or flight your body is able to relax.
I also put on a good amount of weight once I finally left my last relationship and the post break up dust settled. I’ve since dropped some weight and i feel more myself. Keep doing you ❤️ and it never hurts to go see a therapist in the mean time to help you get back to center.
Bodies overcompensate in recovery to prepare for if that were to happen again. Be gentle with yourself. Add rest, movement you enjoy, mental healthcare, and good sleep. Make sure you’re eating enough for your body to feel safe again.
get some blood work done. stress can do a number on your body and if you’re still healing from the abuse then your body is still trying to de-stress.
There is such a thing called happy weight.
Are you now lonely? Do you feel yourself comforting yourself with treats?
That’s common after a breakup. Even if it was the right move.