I’m a 21 year old college student and I just don’t know how to keep improving. I have taken most people’s advice regarding dating: I’ve improved how I look, I very much love myself, I have joined and been a consistent member in a plethora of clubs, I’ve developed my hobbies and interests, I’ve focused on my studies, and I’ve improved with socializing and confidence. I’ve done a lot of other things too, such as living abroad to broaden my dating pool and asked friends what may be hindering me getting into a relationship. Overall, I’ve done a lot.
In terms of looks I believe I look quite lovely. I’m 5′ 4″, around 114 lb, and I have a 24 inch waist. I consistently take actions to improve how I look. I have developed a wonderful fashion style which showcases my body excellently. Think a well fitted, lower cut top with wide pants that are fitted for my waist. People often comment how I look dressy and elegant. In terms of makeup, I have a consistent style and get compliments on it. Overall, my face looks similar to a young Renee Zellweger. In the past I’ve often get compliments on my appearance or clothes, but mostly by women. This isn’t to mention that I also always keep my nails painted, hair done, and wear heels every day.
In terms of personality, I make friends easily and I am very social and outgoing. I have a lot of hobbies and I often invite people to hang out. My friends describe me as being sweet, fun, and smart.
My struggle with dating is it’s hard to find guys who take interest in me. Women seem to enjoy me but guys rarely speak to me without me starting the conversation. Even the guys who supposedly have liked me previously have all wanted me to message first, take the lead, and ask to hang out. Even then they seemed uninterested after a while. I suppose what I would like is some advice to improve this situation or maybe on how to find men who are interested in dating?
Comments
I don’t know. But I can tell you my daughter is in the same boat. I don’t get it.
Just carry on focusing on yourself, if a guy comes along he comes along but don’t make it a priority. You’re still very young. You can go on dating apps and date for fun and experience but don’t worry about settling down yet
I’ll be real with you, 21 year old guys mostly low-key suck.
You sound like you’re put together as fuck. Or at least, you give the appearance of being put together as fuck. Without a photo, other ways this could be read are bitchy and slutty.
All of these can be seen as quite intimidating to a lot of people. It could be that you’ve missed cues through overthinking or they think you’re not interested.
The other possibility is that you’re trying too hard to find a man and it shows. Men, like women, can often smell desperation a mile off.
My advice? Chill. Hang out with friends. Hang out in places guys do and make guy friends that could become more. Things like this have a habit of sneaking up on you when you’re not trying too hard.
The other option is the dating apps, where there’s an explicit goal to date. But they come with their own issues.
maybe you look too good and guys don’t dare to talk to you? Anyways, you are young, don’t you worry. It may take some time but the right one will show up. Just keep going!
Take your heels off and join a rock climbing gym, you’ll meet tons of guys.
Aside from this, if you’re wearing heels every day at 21, you’re likely driving most men your age away.
It sounds like you have a lot of people pleasing habits, you’re always trying to make yourself more loveable, prettier, more appealing. To be fair, I was similar in my early 20s. And the truth is, it’s boring, dating men with the same traits, who were always trying to figure out how to please me, without them ever having their own opinions or standing their ground or being confident in being silly, it was boring and I usually friend zoned them.
The easiest way to attract someone is to feel confident in your thoughts and opinions, even if they differ from the other persons, be willing to be the real you, the you that is confident enough to playfully tease them, because if they leave it’s their loss, who is confident to share your nerdy habits without caring what they think and is willing to qualify them by telling them exactly what kind of traits your looking for in a partner and be willing to put away if they don’t meet that.