I’ve had random people that I’ve just met call me Good looking, even been called “pretty boy” and people always say they’d assume I get girls looking at me but the last time I got directly hit on was like 6 months ago. Tbf I’m 17 so I’m guessing women get more direct as we get older? Idk but it just feels like I’m considered attractive by “normie” standards but not enough to frequently get hit on. I acknowledge that I’ve probably been hit on more than the average person, but it doesn’t really happen often enough to say that I get “a lot” of attention from women. I’ve been directly approached like 6 times over the last 3 years but they were far between and pretty unexpected
Why is it that that I get called attractive frequently by friends, strangers, older women, etc but I don’t get directly hit on very often?
r/AskMen
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You might not notice
Traditionally, women don’t approach. At least in my age group (40s), they don’t. They cling on to the more traditional gender roles when it comes to dating. Or they think that by briefly glancing in your direction that they’ve made a clear and obvious approach.
For younger people, this might be different.
Suffice to say, you shouldn’t be relying on others. If you see someone who interests you, then the onus is on you to act, IMO.
Many women are so subtle in their flirting that you probably didn’t notice. Society also generally pushes for men to do the approaching instead of women.
Older women will hit on you once they feel you are “of age”. Of course you can initiate rather than wait
Men don’t get hit on. Get used to it, my friend.
Girls will give subtle hints like looking at you and expect you to make a move.
but be careful if she only looked at you once it was an accident, and now you’re a creep/j
In all seriousness, it’s likely either that girls your age aren’t interested in your personality while people who are a little older will give you compliments because they acknowledge you look good
Or
Girls your age think you’re attractive, but girls don’t tend to hit on men.
It’s most likely a mix of both.
women are less likely to hit on you or make the first move, even tho they might find you attractive. Especially for your age, the average 17 yo girl is shy
Older conservative looking women are literally the only interest I receive but I am gay and I like their lacrosse playing son
Most women want the guy to make the first move. They’re afraid of rejection, and frequently rationalize it by telling themselves if he doesn’t approach me then he’s not man enough or the like.
Because females rarely make the first move. I’m an ordinary looking straight guy at best and I’ve been hit on more often in my life by men for that reason. Just to be clear, not saying that it happens often, just more often than by females.
Women very rarely approach first. Their “moves” are subtle glances and signals that we as men are largely incapable of registering. At best we think “is she trying to tell me something” but we’re afraid of being called a creep and getting publicly ridiculed.
This one is a bit complicated.
I have a similar issue as you (I’m 33 if you are wondering). Few things I have learned: Women are interested but majority of them won’t approach you. There are a few that will but the majority of the time they will not. Gender roles still play a huge part (it took me the age of 32 & moving to another state to realize this)
There will be a few that will point blank eye f**k you (yes, it has happened a few times for me) & it’s really up to you if you want to talk to them or not. I prefer ignoring them even though I’m aware of it mainly cause I have no interest in them.
I don’t know if this one is normal or not but women become a lot more sociable & approachable. They also seem super smiley when i talk to them. (Like i said, i don’t know if this is normal or not)
Overall, you will still need to put the work in despite looking a certain way. Being attractive as a guy only gets you so far.
Finally, get prepared for every person within your vicinity to assume you are a player. Most people will see you fun for short term & not long term material.
Cause they’re shy like us.
You might be good looking, but you might also be an asshole.
Just something to consider.
6 is a lot more than some guys get in a lifetime. Don’t sell yourself short. Be picky as hell, don’t compromise
>I’ve been directly approached like 6 times over the last 3 years
This is a lot relative to most other guys’ experiences. The most attractive guys I know might get frequent signals of interest from girls, but they aren’t actually getting approached often.
Also, if you’re going for the girls that approach you, you’re probably missing out on the even more attractive girls who are interested but would never approach you.
You have to be very, very attractive for women to hit on you.
My mate looks like a Greek god, and they approach him in numbers all night when he goes to a bar.
if you really are a “pretty boy” then you harbour the female gaze. its not much of an issue at all unless you have trouble socializing with women