Why Keep Fighting?

r/

I’m a 24yo man. I formed my whole life around my family, trying to do the best and fix things between them. I spent my life trying to learn stuff that would get me into the job market.
I’ve been working since I was 17 to provide for my family… but everything’s falling apart right now.
My father couldn’t adapt to us because of his military background.
My mom cheated and wants to spend her life with another man. I lost my job. Every relationship I had failed because I was too caring and acted nothing but as a gentleman. No one wants to hangout with me, and I feel like I’m the biggest loser on this planet all the time.

Edit:

My personal goal is to gain intense knowledge about every industry in the world and apply it whenever needed. If I focus on this right now, my younger brother and sister will suffer severe financial damage. But if I proceed with work, I have to keep looking for a software engineering role that barely covers the bills—and it’s literal slavery here in Iraq. I’m really frustrated, doomed to ashes, and don’t know what to do anymore.

Comments

  1. Brother_To_Coyotes Avatar

    Good.

    Time for a no consequences adventure.

    What branch was your dad in? Worst case you get out of here and go do that.

    What job did you lose? What country are you in now?

  2. xm1l1tiax Avatar

    Look to improve your life and no one else’s. And then seek therapy

  3. Weeabootrashreturns Avatar

    Then let it go and do what you want. When you give up, there’s no chance of anything getting better. You’ve spent your life trying to make other people happy. Now do what makes you happy.

  4. MidDayGamer Avatar

    Just do you.

    Get another job, learn from the old ways and just move on. I’ve had this happen more times then I can count and i’m in my 40’s.

  5. TheBooneyBunes Avatar

    Just because shit went bad in the past need not mean the future is doomed. So you lost your job, there’s tens of millions of others, come work for the postal service we’re always hiring. Your parents’ issues don’t define you. Something I’ve struggled to learn through half a dozen people that I genuinely love is that at a certain point, you can quite literally do no more. Don’t abandon them, but if they don’t wanna fix their problems you can’t fix it for them for long. It’ll be tough for a while but you can always rebuild your life

  6. ZZoMBiEXIII Avatar

    I’m sorry for your troubles, friend. It sucks to try your best and fail. Believe me, I’ve been there. Most of us have been there to one degree or another. I know your pain.

    That said, from the sound of your post, you’re actually in a somewhat fortunate position. Sounds like you’ve nowhere to go but up. And what that looks like is up to you.

    Don’t like the life you’re living? Time to change up your approach. Don’t like how your family has turned out? You’re old enough to start building your own family and you’re young enough that changes will stick and they will matter going forward.

    Your 20’s feel incredibly important while you’re going through them. But, as most of us find out, they’re basically a learning phase for the best parts of your life which are still to come. At 24 I’m sure you feel SO old because you’ve faced some challenges, but the truth is your whole life is basically still to be written. I was married by the time I was your age and divorced before 30. Which feels a lot like where life started in a lot of ways. I changed careers, met new friends, set myself on a new path way later than you are now in life and I’ve loved where life has taken me.

    You’re still alive, you’ve got all the potential in the world, and while they are sad the issues between your parents are their problems to face, not yours. It sucks to see an older couple fall apart. But they are not you. Sure, it affects you because they’re your parents. I would never condone what your mother did, I hate cheaters for very personal reasons. But she’s still your mom and I’m sure she still loves you. And, I mean if she doesn’t then focus on your dad. Sounds like he could use a friend right now and who better than the child he sired?

    Keep your head up, if you’re not already then get into a martial art or a boxing gym. These kinds of things can bring an incredible amount of clarity into your life. You’re just getting started, friend. Best of luck to you.

  7. dgroeneveld9 Avatar

    I totally get this. You feel a crushing weight to provide for others who don’t seem to have their own best interest in mind, and yet you continue to work twice as hard to make up for their own carelessness. Yeah. It’s unhealthy man. We have to stop. Putting ourselves first isn’t cruel to them, just as them putting themselves first isn’t cruel to you. I need to learn this lesson myself.

  8. Hoomanbeanzzz Avatar

    When I was 24 I was a high school dropout with no college education. I was working on the docks in Savannah, GA where I’d load stuff onto boats or clip things onto forklifts in the warehouse (unskilled labor) for about $50 a day from midnight until 8AM. I lived in a shitty apartment that leaked every time it rained.

    During one unfortunate stretch, my Grandpa died and while I was at his funeral my apartment was robbed. They took all my bedsheets and used it to wrap all my shit up in. They even drank the beer in my fridge and cooked my Ramen noodles (I’m not kidding). I had nothing left but a bare mattress.

    Shortly after that my car was stolen because someone found a spare key when robbing my apartment and I guess tried every car on the block until they found my beat up old Ford Aerostar van.

    Within a couple weeks of that, a woman on my block was gunned down. My neighbor who was a crack dealer (but a really nice guy) warned me that because I was white everybody on that block was going to assume I would talk to the police (because “white people love to talk to the police”).

    And warned me that I should probably leave because I could be murk next if they thought I’d tell them the description of the car or something.

    So I had to break my lease and leave with no car, no money, no stuff…etc.

    Probably one of the lowest points in my life and a string of bad luck that just kept coming.

    But now at 38 I work online and make $500k a year and live in Southeast Asia and I’m married with a kid and another on the way.

    There’s all kinds of ups and downs in life.

    Hell, at another point when I was about 33 I had spent several years saving up $300k or so just to completely lose all my clients practically overnight and due to surprise expenses, I burned through that $300k in less than 16 months and was back flat broke for awhile.

    It’s just life.

    When things look like they couldn’t get any worse, they often get better.

    When things are looking great and you’re flying high, that’s about the time something unfortunate happens to knock you back down to earth.

  9. 5ft6manlet Avatar

    Think of it like this. It is all uphill from here. If you can get even lower how low can it go?

    One step at a time. Dunno if it’ll help you but you should read Berserk (a manga).

  10. DemondWolf Avatar

    To see better days, keep fighting the sun shall shine again you’re only 24 better days are ahead tough times don’t last tough people do. Don’t focus too much on love and learn how to enjoy your company.

  11. LyraDawnWarrior Avatar

    You are so young to have all this on your shoulders and thinking of giving up. Please don’t give in to that thought. Yes I’m a stranger but I’m also a mother. Life is hard. Life can mess you up. Life can make you think wtf. Life is also to be cherished and is a gift hun. You have so much to see and experience. You’re an honorable young man taking care of your family. Have you thought of making a plan for when you can move? Is there any sort of veteran services for your father where you are? Are there any work remotely jobs in your field? Can you do anything involving AI since it’s going to go nuts? Please stay with us young man⚘️🫂

  12. ExplanationNo8603 Avatar

    Fight for yourself, from this post I wonder who you are, and if your just trying to be what you THINK others want you to be, instead of being yourself

  13. itsfckingeric Avatar

    This is the moment when legends are born. Life has you backed into a corner, and now it’s time to fight back. You don’t need to overthink the “why”… just take action.

    If you ever lose sight of what you’re fighting for, look in the mirror and ask yourself whether you are proud of who you have become. Trust me, you should be. Then decide what you would do next and just do it.