Sooo DH ended up talking to MIL after two (blissful) months of no contact since she called him for his birthday earlier this month.
While on the birthday call, the in-laws proudly announced that DH’s male cousin “A” is engaged again shortly after an acrimonious divorce. They go on and on about the woman he’s marrying with useless details like she plays golf. Ok. Good for her.
Important backstory here is that DH has essentially cut off A as he is a bit of a Trumper (even though A doesn’t live in the US), misogynist, and has tried to create additional conflict between DH and his parents before.
A different male cousin “R” (who DH likes) calls DH for his birthday as well and mentions “so I’ll see you next month at the wedding”. DH says “what wedding?”. R spills the beans that A is, in fact, getting married next month and the entire DH clan, including DH’s parents, has been invited and is attending.
So, to sum it up:
1. A did not invite DH to his wedding
2. DH’s parents are playing silly bugger by making it seem like A is merely and newly engaged
3. DH’s parents don’t have the balls to admit the whole truth even when they’re starting with a bit of the truth. Instead of rattling on and on about A’s bride to be with useless information that no one cares about, why can’t they just outright say – “A is getting married. Next month. And we are attending.” Instead of this subterfuge.
4. Culturally, this is HUGE that A is not inviting DH. It means that A, A’s parents, and DH’s parents are essentially excommunicating him from the family officially. (These weddings have hundreds of useless, not involved, not important people attending for the purpose of showing off – so not inviting a literal first cousin is a massive insult).
5. The wedding is being held at a venue that is 5 minutes from our house (that’s just a lol tbh).
Honestly I feel bad for DH that he’s an only child and his parents are SO shitty and never have his back.
PS when we asked my parents what they would have done in this situation, they said they would have talked to A and his parents to make sure DH was invited and if they were not willing to do that then they would not have attended the wedding. At least someone in DH’s life understands the meaning of loyalty.
PPS the petty Betty in me did ask DH if he wanted to call his parents to call them out on their boldfaced evasiveness and watch them squirm when directly confronted but DH didn’t want to.
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Just a heads up, you’ll want to remove the names and replace them with “cousin A, cousin B” and so on. Only the MIL gets a nickname here.
“A did not invite DH to his wedding”
—That solves a myriad of problems.