Why do some older folks decline my help?
When I offer help to older people (groceries, doors, etc.), some strongly refuse. Is this about independence, pride, or something else? Just trying to understand. Thanks!
Why some old people refuse help?
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In our brains we still think we are young and capable. We still appreciate the offer.
they want to do it themselves. my grandmother hated asking people for help even when she was dying
You answerd yourself. Offer help, but if they refuse… leave them alone for a while.
Its nice of you to offer.
They want to be independent still, coming from a girl who works at an assisted and independent living facility. They have a very hard time with getting older which I don’t blame them because getting older scares me too.
It’s important that they still do what they can. They know they’re declining but walking up the steps with their groceries may be all exercise they get that day.
I guess we interact with vastly different ppl. Most old ppl I come across are constantly asking for help.
Maybe they don’t need help? Just because someone’s old doesn’t mean they need help.
Also they might not feel safe. I mean holding the door is fine, but I don’t know you. You might be nice, or you might just wanna steal my stuff or hit me over the head and take my car, so I wouldn’t let a stranger carry groceries for me unless they’re a store employee. I personally feel a lot safer just doing things myself.
I think some of them might be overly cautious in this day and age. They might think you’re trying to rob them or even worse you might attack them.
Or they might feel they are more than capable to carry their own groceries.
But good for you for offering though, I think you should never stop offering because one day, someone might actually need your help and would be very grateful 🙂
What age do you consider old? From things I’ve read here, apparently some think it’s anyone over 35.🤣
Inside very old person is a young one, screaming at what they have lost. Pride is all some of us have left.
Again, kudos for asking.
Because 60 is not as old as you think? Lol
So much advertising hits on seniors. These ads make some of us laugh & some cry. You wanna know what it does to me? Fuck around and find out….
Sometimes people have a very particular way they want things done. Help is sometimes offered in a fast, helper- does- what-they- think- needs- to be done sort of way, when it makes more work for the older person to get their stuff re-organized afterwards. But that does not explain doors… does the person plan to lean on the door? Pause and regroup before exiting/ entering, and not want to be hurried? We all can be better at asking for help, doing what’s asked, and taking no for an answer. I need to be better at all of this.
My father is 75, has a superfit body, but severe Dementia. By law here, i am not allowed to restrict his movement, so he walks around freely, buys things from the pocket money the state grants him monthly in his elderly care home.
He does not react good to offers for help. So… thats that.