Why was being the fastest kid in elementary school so important to us when we were kids?

r/

I still remember the kids’s name. Devin. He was faster than Quicksilver,
the Flash and Superman all together. And then he graduated 5th grade and Ran off into Sunset

Comments

  1. lyingdogfacepony66 Avatar

    because we didn’t know penis length was a thing in 5th grade

  2. ThiccBlastoise Avatar

    Because I’m trying to flex on all the other kids with my light up shoes. As another commenter said, we then moved on to dick length as a replacement

  3. Slambodog Avatar

    Because kids like superlatives 

  4. Kreeos Avatar

    It’s an easy to measure marker to help sort out everyone’s place on the status hierarchy.

  5. hikeonpast Avatar

    Social hierarchy. Nowadays, that position is held by ‘influencers’.

    Society would be in a better place if we were all still emulating the fast kid.

  6. PatchworkGirl82 Avatar

    I don’t remember it being too important in my school, but that was how my brother got the nickname “Skeeter”

  7. BreakfastBeerz Avatar

    I was the fastest kid in elementary school. At least I thought I was all the way until 7th grade when I started running cross country. Turns out I wasn’t the fastest kid, there were a couple of other kids in my grade that were faster….they just had been half-assing it in gym class all those years.

  8. Robcobes Avatar

    At my school it was all about who was better at football (soccer for some).

  9. snotboogie Avatar

    It definitely was not in my case

  10. Krennix_Garrison Avatar

    Pre columbine = I can run fast as hell because I want to get to the front of the line and say FIRST!

    Post-Columbine = If I run fast enough, maybe i can get to somewhere safe and survive.

  11. HistorianJRM85 Avatar

    it’s the easiest form of bragging rights at school. In other countries, it’s how high you’re ranked in your class.

    but running is more interesting among guys.

    then later the bragging rights get more complicated….

  12. Past-Magician2920 Avatar

    Funny in that when I look back on my life from 55 years I take great pride in the fact that I was the fastest kid throughout elementary school. Sure I did a few other things in life, but for whatever reason being fast when young always defined me a bit.

  13. real_Mini_geek Avatar

    It’s only human natural..

    Have you heard of this thing called the olympics and motorsport to name a few?

  14. norfnorf832 Avatar

    Idk but i was one of the fastest girls then suddenly Jessica was faster than me and like what the hell?

  15. CautiousArachnidz Avatar

    It was important to Bill Clinton too. He sent me a hand signed certificate for the presidential fitness award.

  16. JackOfAllMemes Avatar

    Brittany was the fastest in my school

  17. Pure_Finger_8565 Avatar

    There was an elite group of fast kids at my school, I was in the top three, I became absolutely consumed about being the fastest, I trained day and night, this continued from grade school until 8th grade, our group actually won state for 4×100, 4×400.

  18. TempeSunDevil06 Avatar

    We play tag, flag football, kickball, all that shit. The fastest kid had a huge advantage and was always chosen first

  19. MuscleCrow Avatar

    Because Sonic is cool, and we’re trying to be like Sonic.

  20. Jorost Avatar

    Was it? I have no idea who the fastest kid in school was. It wasn’t me and that was all that mattered.

  21. ImaginaryBunch4455 Avatar

    Because you inherently knew that running fast was what you should do as a kid. And then you turned fifty and hurt just getting out of bed.

  22. dadjokes502 Avatar
  23. Expensive-View-8586 Avatar

    There was a study I read about what makes little kids popular with the other gender and for elementary kids “run fast” was what girls liked in boys the most. Being funny was second place but it didn’t equal out with run fast until late high-school or college. 

  24. Worthlessstupid Avatar

    We’re hard wired to measure ourselves against our peers. In the absence of wealth, power, or other metrics, we run races, throw rocks, and invent yard games to test our mettle.