Okay so I have been babysitting for a mother for almost a year now and I’m planning to quit soon (new place of work starts mid June). Here is where I may be the asshole. I don’t plan on giving her much notice, if any.
When first hearing about it she told me I would work till 4:30pm (she gets out at 3:30 and it takes about an hour to drive) unless otherwise called. I have stayed late several times including within the first week of babysitting for her. She works in a job that doesn’t have a set time of when she leaves work and so I feel lied to about it when working.
She only recently mentioned that she wasn’t on a fixed schedule. Problem is: my sister is missing an hour of school up to three days now when someone can’t pick her up. She also has an older child who does not help out much with the kid I babysit.
This means I’m working weekdays sometimes as late as 7:30/8:30pm one time even 10:20ish pm back to back starting at 3:00pm. It means my sister either misses an hour of school or gets home late and we have to get fast food or sometimes both. Some days I get notice when it’s 8:30 or later but 7:30pm and earlier she just never texts.
The few times I’ve given her late notice she has given me hell usually giving me an attitude my next work day with a snark comment of “just checking if you’re working all week/tomorrow” which is annoying considering her late notice/ taking the day off and having me come into work only to find out later.
So… would I be the asshole to not tell her or give her little notice about quitting?
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Okay so I have been babysitting for a mother for almost a year now and I’m planning to quit soon (new place of work starts mid June). Here is where I may be the asshole. I don’t plan on giving her much notice, if any.
When first hearing about it she told me I would work till 4:30pm (she gets out at 3:30 and it takes about an hour to drive) unless otherwise called. I have stayed late several times including within the first week of babysitting for her. She works in a job that doesn’t have a set time of when she leaves work and so I feel lied to about it when working.
She only recently mentioned that she wasn’t on a fixed schedule. Problem is: my sister is missing an hour of school up to three days now when someone can’t pick her up. She also has an older child who does not help out much with the kid I babysit.
This means I’m working weekdays sometimes as late as 7:30/8:30pm one time even 10:20ish pm back to back starting at 3:00pm. It means my sister either misses an hour of school or gets home late and we have to get fast food or sometimes both. Some days I get notice when it’s 8:30 or later but 7:30pm and earlier she just never texts.
The few times I’ve given her late notice she has given me hell usually giving me an attitude my next work day with a snark comment of “just checking if you’re working all week/tomorrow” which is annoying considering her late notice/ taking the day off and having me come into work only to find out later.
So… would I be the asshole to not tell her or give her little notice about quitting?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I would be the asshole for giving no notice before quitting babysitting
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Side note: I’m someone who even if someone took advantage of me in a workplace would feel bad for leaving them without a babysitter last second*
NTA but why is your sister missing so much school?
NTA if work is troubling your life and the people around you, ger rid of it and also that snarky comment like.. seriously. I feel like shes using you to party out and not worry about the kids instead of work.
NTA, but I’m worried about the kid. Technically, not your problem, it’s mom’s problem, but I know me personally, I wouldn’t be able in good conscious to stop, not knowing if there would be someone actually watching the kid. Mom probably can’t just not work, yknow? I would also want to have the opportunity to warn the next person
You need to.give her a heads up
Sorry she’s treated you badly, but you’ve been her help for nearly a year. Sounds like she’s swamped and you’re her solid ground. Truly, I would tell her, BUT only when my new job was completely signed up and agreed on.
I think I would feel terrible just leaving her in the lurch.
YWBTA
Ask for added payment every time the mum runs late.
See the result and decide on that.
ESH. You’re just a bit of an asshole as finding child care is hard.
If you are going to continue to babysit, charge a late pick-up fee and enforce it. You’re being paid for your time and it’s valuable. Don’t short change others in your life.
The mom is likely a taker. Takers take it’s what they do.
NTA for wanting to quit, and for wanting clear communication & for your time to be respected. Personally though, I’d give Mama a heads up of a few days, but I totally understand why you wouldn’t want to
Whatever you do make sure you act professionally and have all your bases covered. You don’t owe an employer anything other than being professional.
NTA as someone who also babysits from time to time I understand why you’re upset and annoyed, you have a life outside of babysitting and people being late will just make it more difficult especially for things like date nights, studying, hanging out with friends or whatever you want to do it’s just more difficult if people can’t bother to show up on time
NTA, but why is your sister your responsibility? Are your parents paying you for that?
YTAH — only ! Because it puts the child in to potential danger of being left alone or with unsuitable older sibling. But she only needs a week notice- let her put child into daycare a try to pick up after hours : AND you didn’t say if there is extra $ when she’s late , there Should be! She’s not really working til 7 or 10 you know ; not if she has flex hours
Despite all of your grievances, you have decided to keep working for this person. That was your call.
Be an adult. Don’t stoop to someone else’s level of asshole behaviour.
I don’t understand how your sister is missing school – does her school start at 3:30pm? How old is your sister?
Yes. YWBTA if you don’t give her any notice. It’s kinda cruel and she’s clearly a stressed out mom struggling to balance her work/home life. While I understand your frustrations, stooping to that level is needlessly cruel. Will you gain anything aside from a sense of vengence by not letting her know? Be the bigger person, give her a heads up. It’s the decent thing to do.
Let her know asap and don’t worry about her response. She needs to get this situation addressed and make sure her child is cared for or adjust her work hours to fit a dependable schedule for her babysitter. Sounds like she expected you to cover whatever came up in by her plans, work-related or not.
Not being on a fixed schedule does not mean you can leave whenever.
I it perfectly ok to quit babysitting. Especially when the parent does not come home at the promised time – but you can quit babysitting without reason too.
However, purposefully giving short notice period to punish them is an asshole move. YTA just give a notice and live the rest of your life.