I’ve been roommates with a friend of mine for 2 years. When we moved in, we left my TV in our living room as a temporary fix so we wouldn’t have to pitch in for a new TV when money was already so tight. The idea was that until we could afford one to share for the common space, we could share mine. My roommate, in the meantime, kept her TV in her room.
Last week I mentioned to an online friend that I was sick and tired of needing to get out of bed and enter a common area every time I wanted to watch anything. She pitched the idea to just bring it to my room. Which, honestly, I hadn’t even considered because I didn’t want to be rude, but the idea is now seeming more appealing by the day.
Now here’s what’s getting me, I just found out my roommate will be having guests in the coming weeks. Because of the timing, I worry she’ll think I’m moving it just to spite she and her guests. I haven’t even floated the idea to her yet, because I’m afraid she’ll take it the wrong way.
I’m a very anxious gal at heart and just the thought of talking to her about this is giving me the jeebies. Is there a better way to go about this I’m not thinking of? Any extra advice appreciated 🙁
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I’ve been roommates with a friend of mine for 2 years. When we moved in, we left my TV in our living room as a temporary fix so we wouldn’t have to pitch in for a new TV when money was already so tight. The idea was that until we could afford one to share for the common space, we could share mine. My roommate, in the meantime, kept her TV in her room.
Last week I mentioned to an online friend that I was sick and tired of needing to get out of bed and enter a common area every time I wanted to watch anything. She pitched the idea to just bring it to my room. Which, honestly, I hadn’t even considered because I didn’t want to be rude, but the idea is now seeming more appealing by the day.
Now here’s what’s getting me, I just found out my roommate will be having guests in the coming weeks. Because of the timing, I worry she’ll think I’m moving it just to spite she and her guests. I haven’t even floated the idea to her yet, because I’m afraid she’ll take it the wrong way.
I’m a very anxious gal at heart and just the thought of talking to her about this is giving me the jeebies. Is there a better way to go about this I’m not thinking of? Any extra advice appreciated 🙁
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m worried I might be the asshole because if I took my TV from our common space, especially before my roommate is having company over, she might think it was purposeful so that she and her guests would have to go without.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nah you wouldn’t be the AH here it’s literally your TV and the whole “we’ll use yours until we get a shared one” plan never actually turned into “we bought a shared one.” Two years is a long time to let that “temporary” arrangement slide.
If you’re worried about timing with her guests, you could frame it less as “I’m taking the living room TV away” and more as “Hey, I’ve been wanting a TV in my room for a while and I think now’s a good time for me to finally set that up. Maybe after you have guests we can look into getting one for the living room.” That way you’re not coming across like you’re leaving her and her guests hanging, and you also plant the seed for her to contribute to the common space like originally intended.
NTAH it’s your TV so you can do anything you want with it. Just be honest with your roommate and explain it’s for your convenience, not to upset her.
NTA! Just let her know that you want your TV in your room for now. And that if you (both) want a TV in the living room, you can chip in for one. BTW you can get them pretty inexpensively. And meanwhile if either of you want to watch in the living room, (either of) you can bring your own TV to the living room for that purpose.
This does not have to be fraught.
NTA. It’s your TV.
Side note: there are some pretty cheap TVs out there, and often they are on Buy Nothing groups. They can find a TV
“Hey, I miss having a TV in my room and I think it’s time to go in on a communal one. Let’s get one before your friends come so they’ll be able to use it.”
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NTA
She can move her TV to the living room
It’s her turn. She can put her TV in the living room.
NTA. Your roommate has a tv so can move it out into the common area when her friends turn up.
NTA. Just bring up some options for TV using different price range and ask her if any of these interest her.
“Hey, I’ve been thinking about how comfortable it would be to watch tv in bed like you do, so in a week I’ll be moving my tv into my room. This is just me giving notice.”
That way, if she doesn’t want to buy a communal one but wants to have friends over to watch something, she knows to bring her tv out to do so.
NTA
YWBTA if you just move it. Have a conversation with your roommate first then YWNBTA.
People really need to learn how to have a conversation with others. Your making drama where there doesn’t need to be any.
NTA but communicate say you think its time for a new tv then move it.
NTA I’d tell her, “Listen, my TV in the living room was only supposed to be a temporary thing, but it’s been two years now. It’s no one’s fault, but the truth is I’ve gotten to the point where I’m sick of not being able to watch TV in my room, so I’m taking my TV in. If you want to take a turn and put your TV into the living room until we actually do get a living room TV together, that’s fine, or we could do without one there for a while.”
This framing immediately removes the idea of you “taking away the living room TV” which in her mind it has probably become (rather than it being your bedroom TV temporarily in the living room). If she objects, you have the framing in place that you have already more than done your bit by sharing your TV for two years.
If she brings up her visitors, then you can say that the timing is just a coincidence, but you don’t see the problem. There is her TV, after all. If she doesn’t want to move her TV into the living room for them because she’d have to go without a TV in her room, surely she must be able to see that’s what you have already been doing for two years. The long-term solution is for you to get a living room TV together, but your TV was never meant to be the permanent living room TV and you taking it into your bedroom, where it was always meant to be, had to come sooner or later.
NTA but just have a chat with her about it. I’d probably want to do it before her guests arrived so I could chill in my room when they were visiting, but I would explain that to her so she didn’t think I was being rude/doing it for spite.