My best friend’s son is 20 and wants to join a law enforcement academy. Our families have been extremely close since long before his birth. I love this boy with all my heart, but I (and other members of his family) don’t necessarily think this is the right type of work for him but we have been supporting him.
His family doesn’t have a scanner and he has a huge (30 + pages) document to fill out and email in. He sent it to me to print out for him, then he completed it and gave it to my husband last night to scan. The pages were out of order, several had missing information like previous addresses, his phone number was illegible, information entered in wrong places was crudely scratched out and he even forgot to put his NAME on it. (He was confused because it had a place for maiden name.) He has ADHD and always had trouble in school with completing assignments and his handwriting is very childlike and practically illegible. These are just two of the reasons why we feel this isn’t a good fit for him. We also found out last night that he had the email for a week before he sent it to me for printing. He said he didn’t get a notification that he received it.
We got it back in order and I started going through it, finding the errors. Called his mom and talked to her about it. We reprinted the pages that needed to be redone, he picked them up after work and she stood over him while he fixed it all. My husband scanned it today, emailed it to him and copied me on it. I verified with his mom that she had looked over everything and I didn’t need to proofread it again. She said yes.
Problem: just glancing through I still found errors, including the date on the signature page. I have opted not to say anything and let the chips fall where they may. Husband agrees. Our thinking is: If he needs three other people to help APPLY for a position and still can’t get the paperwork right, it is on him. The official email hasn’t gone out yet. WIBTA?
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My best friend’s son is 20 and wants to join a law enforcement academy. Our families have been extremely close since long before his birth. I love this boy with all my heart, but I (and other members of his family) don’t necessarily think this is the right type of work for him but we have been supporting him.
His family doesn’t have a scanner and he has a huge (30 + pages) document to fill out and email in. He sent it to me to print out for him, then he completed it and gave it to my husband last night to scan. The pages were out of order, several had missing information like previous addresses, his phone number was illegible, information entered in wrong places was crudely scratched out and he even forgot to put his NAME on it. (He was confused because it had a place for maiden name.) He has ADHD and always had trouble in school with completing assignments and his handwriting is very childlike and practically illegible. These are just two of the reasons why we feel this isn’t a good fit for him. We also found out last night that he had the email for a week before he sent it to me for printing. He said he didn’t get a notification that he received it.
We got it back in order and I started going through it, finding the errors. Called his mom and talked to her about it. We reprinted the pages that needed to be redone, he picked them up after work and she stood over him while he fixed it all. My husband scanned it today, emailed it to him and copied me on it. I verified with his mom that she had looked over everything and I didn’t need to proofread it again. She said yes.
Problem: just glancing through I still found errors, including the date on the signature page. I have opted not to say anything and let the chips fall where they may. Husband agrees. Our thinking is: If he needs three other people to help APPLY for a position and still can’t get the paperwork right, it is on him. The official email hasn’t gone out yet. WIBTA?
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> 1. I came across errors in a document I was not responsible for proofreading.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
I understand ADHD makes things like this difficult. But at the end of the day this is an adult trying to get into law enforcement. They need to be able to properly fill out paperwork. That’s a huge part of the job. You can’t hold their hand forever
NTA — this person may have ADHD — but this person is pretty much a full adult. They need to learn for themselves and take control of their own life. They are going to learn this job — and they need to do it right for themselves. No one should be babying him — this is his life.
Not surprised the people that want to become cops can’t even fill out a form or carry out basic tasks without the help of several other adults.
NTA. TBH all this help is just going to make things worse. His parents should be embarrassed that it’s gotten to this point. Since when is ADHD an excuse for this level of helplessness?
>Our thinking is: If he needs three other people to help APPLY for a position and still can’t get the paperwork right, it is on him.
Correct. He’s been coddled to his own detriment.
Not your kid, not your problem. You’re NTA.
NTA. But be sure you never, ever tell anyone in the family that you spotted errors after they’d signed off on it. Because then they will blame you.
NTA. Mom said she checked everything herself. Don’t say anything and let it happen.
I doubt they’ll come back later blaming you if he doesn’t get in, but you can just say that you didn’t even look at it the second time and just scanned it in for him.
i mean at that point even if you tell them about it, they probably won’t fix it or will expect you to. this guy should just go work retail NTA. you’ve already given them so much of your time. they are accountable to their own lack of checking.
NTA – also, is his mom going to proofread the police reports that he’s going to be responsible for generating?
NTA. I wouldn’t even have put the papers in order or told them about the many mistakes. Some people disqualify themselves.
NTA. Honestly I was coming to say that you could order the pages to be nice to the person on the receiving end, but I would not have judged you for sending the original.
NTA
Please protect your community from this boy.
NTA (although I was ready to go the other way by the title)
I have ADHD – like serious “there are goldfish with a longer attention span than me” ADHD. I was diagnosed as an adult, and had already finished school, been working in tech, and raising kids before diagnosis. This is not ADHD’s fault.
You did what you could, you tried to help, your work here is done. If this opportunity is that important to him, he can find the brain power to do it correctly, and if his lack of caring enough about the application to do it right costs him this opportunity, there’s a life lesson for him.
YWBTA. Knowing there are errors but not letting him know would be absolutely horrible and hardly “supporting”.
NTA. You are doing the public a favor by not enabling this person to get into a position they do not seem to be capable of handling.