I’m (21F) and recently got out of a relationship with my ex, 24M. He was the one who ended things about a month ago. It wasn’t a dramatic breakup, but it definitely hurt. He said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and needed time to focus on himself. I respected that and have been trying to move on quietly.
Since then, I’ve been doing little things to feel better. I’ve been going to the gym, hanging out with friends more, and posting a few pictures where I feel good about myself. Some people might call them thirst traps, but it’s really just normal stuff like mirror selfies, outfits I like, or a bikini photo from a day at the lake. Nothing explicit, just the kind of thing any confident girl in her early twenties might post.
The problem is that some of my ex’s friends still follow me, and I’ve started hearing through mutuals that they’re talking about my posts. One of them even messaged me directly, saying I’m trying to get attention or make my ex jealous. That honestly kind of upset me. I haven’t mentioned my ex at all, I haven’t been petty or posted anything about the breakup. I’ve just been focusing on myself and trying to heal.
Now I’m feeling self-conscious and wondering if I’m in the wrong somehow. I don’t want to come across like I’m trying to start drama, but at the same time, I don’t think I should censor myself just because people might read into it. I’m not trying to get a reaction out of anyone. I’m just trying to move on.
So WIBTA if I keep posting what makes me feel confident, even if my ex’s friends are watching and judging?
Comments
NTA. None of these people have any right to tell you what you should or shouldn’t post. If you like the way you look in a bikini then post it. Who cares what these people think.
NTA, just block them and forget they exist
Sounds like you need to clean them out. Don’t let people dull your shine.
NTA you’re just living your life and feeling good again
If his friends don’t like it they can unfollow
You’re not doing anything wrong
Girl, post your pics. If they’re watching, that’s their problem, not yours. Let them scroll in silence.
NTA. Block them and continue living your life.
Block them. They want to be judgmental narcs; they’re not there for you, they’re for him, and you don’t need them.
Do what you will since you’re no longer responsible for your side of the relationship with him. NTA.
NTA. Whatever you do after a breakup is your business. If you ex is worried about his friends, he needs to take that up with his friends.
Why would you let your ex”s friends control something that makes you happy. If you’re feeling good about yourself post it. Fuck em
This is so stupid. Why do you care? They can unfollow you if they are offended by your posts. But seriously why do you care about what your ex’s friends think?
NTA. What you post on your socials is nobody’s but your own. Besides, no one’s forcing them or your ex to look at your pictures. Seriously, fuck these losers.
NTA keep posting what makes you feel good. It sounds like his friends have some feelings about those photos and rather than be mature and ignore them or ask you out, they’re being dicks. Block them if they keep bothering you and post what makes you feel good! You don’t deserve that kind of negativity from people who don’t matter!
So his friends are mad that you’re living your best life and looking good while doing it?
Good.
Who gives a shit what they think. You do you.
If you’re not posting revealing pics, then they’re not thirst traps, and the dude’s friends are loser weirdos. Just remove them from your followers and enjoy your life.
How is it their business what you post? Even if you tried to make your ex jealous, it’s still not their business
Contrary to what he and his friends might think, the world doesn’t revolve around your ex.
It is a normal behaviour; I sure have acted similarly after my break-ups. Lord, if someone would have the audacity to suggest something similar to what your ex’s friends are suggesting, I would just laugh in their face and block them. You are not living in Gilead and there are no modesty requirements for single women (or men for that matter) that you must meet.
NTA. They’re being creeps.
NTA. You’re allowed to post what you want. Block those jerks and live your best life.
NTA people need to mind there own business and stop acting like everything is about them
Throw a block party, where your cutest outfit and just block all those ex’s friends. If anything it sounds like ex isn’t over you. Don’t dull your shine for someone who didn’t see its value in the first place.
NTA he ended the relationship, and you can post whatever you want. If anyone is uncomfortable with it, they can unfollow you. Seeing your photos is not mandatory.
Block them and live your life
Your ex’s friends are pervs who like looking at pictures of you. Maybe your ex has seen them and is pissed off about what he is missing and has got his friends to try to stop you.
Ask the one who DM’d you whether he wants to stop seeing the pictures and if he doesn’t then block him.
He’s the posting police?
Ignore him. Post what you feel you want the public to see.
You don’t have to clear it with a panel of exes friends.
YTA for using this forum to promote your OF page. If you sincerely wanted advice, you would ask whatever you want with a burner account.
Instead, you babes always do this:
And so on. And then we lovesick puppies go to your profile and find your little ”Chat with me” or ”Me, myself and I” link box there. And it just so happens that you have a free trial on your OF going on.
Don’t 👏 Advertise 👏 Here 👏 Please 👏
Answer: “I’m not TRYING to get attention, I DO get attention. Ex who?”
what the fuck do they care? he broke up with you. block them and move on. NTA
NTA
There is no relationship where you have social currency with this group of people anymore.
You go on living your life and they can bounce. If they are causing you stress simply erase them from access.
Keep doing you, he’s made his choice. Enjoy your life!
So, is this just an advertisement for your OF account? Just asking.
Oh look, another OF advertisement.
Ummm…. HE broke up with YOU. Why are his friends even still following you? lol
NTA – Live your life. You’re not responsible for them and can’t control how they choose to interpret things. Just block them and prove them wrong.
If you are truly posting these pictures because you feel confident and think you look good then that is absolutely fine but if you are maybe even subconsciously posting them to show your ex what they are missing then I think that that is also absolutely fine.
I agree with a lot of the other posts about how it doesn’t matter what his friends think and they might just be saying negative things to try and make your ex feel better about himself or they might be assholes.
If you do stop posting these pictures they will probably still talk about you in the same way and I suggest you just do what makes you happy but I do understand some people can’t help but worry about other people’s opinion of them so it might not be so easy to not care.
NTA live your life and don’t allow others to judge you as long as you think it is right.
Of course you want attention you just went through a breakup. Guys are so weird and jealous 😂