My brother (20M) recently brought home a small injured kitten that I (21F) and my mom (63F) immediately fell in love with. We all thought she was adorable, but noticed my brother was being very weird about the cat. When I first saw her she was so small I couldn’t even tell how old she was, maybe around 4-7weeks. She was extremely scared and constantly crying and wouldn’t let anyone touch her. She was also limping and moving her leg in a very weird way.
I asked my brother where he found her and what was wrong with her leg and he said, “it was stuck underneath my girlfriend’s car seat and I tried to get out for over an hour but I got tired of trying so I yanked her out.”
At this my heart dropped. I asked him how he was going to take care of her and he just shrugged and said “I’ll figure it out.” My brother does not have a job and he is currently in school for HVAC. Cats that young (so I’ve heard) can’t be left alone for longer than 2-4 hours at a time!!
I asked him where she was going to stay, he said he would keep it in his room. When I went into his room it was filthy with old food boxes and bags and bottles of piss scattered all over the place. I asked if he wanted help cleaning the room, he refused. I asked if I could give the cat a flea bath, he said no. I again asked how he was going to fund taking care of her without a job or time to properly take care of her and he got upset.
When he was at school today I got off from work and checked on the kitten and she was sleeping in the litter box but hasn’t used it and hasn’t touched any of the kitten food that I bought her to hold her over.
Here’s where I might be the asshole.
I told my mom that I was thinking about taking the cat to the Houston Humane Society or Mission for Paws or somewhere that has the capabilities to care for her in the way that she needs and can find her a home that suits her without my brother knowing, because I think if he knew he’d get pissed and run away with the kitten.
My mom got really pissed and said it would be wrong of me to do so, and that it would be an asshole thing to do, but I disagree.
I feel that it’s cruel and inhumane to keep a small animal with a seemingly broken leg and fleas in a small dirty room with no medical attention!!
So would I be the asshole for taking my brother’s new cat to a humane shelter without him knowing??
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My brother (20M) recently brought home a small injured kitten that I (21F) and my mom (63F) immediately fell in love with. We all thought she was adorable, but noticed my brother was being very weird about the cat. When I first saw her she was so small I couldn’t even tell how old she was, maybe around 4-7weeks. She was extremely scared and constantly crying and wouldn’t let anyone touch her. She was also limping and moving her leg in a very weird way.
I asked my brother where he found her and what was wrong with her leg and he said, “it was stuck underneath my girlfriend’s car seat and I tried to get out for over an hour but I got tired of trying so I yanked her out.”
At this my heart dropped. I asked him how he was going to take care of her and he just shrugged and said “I’ll figure it out.” My brother does not have a job and he is currently in school for HVAC. Cats that young (so I’ve heard) can’t be left alone for longer than 2-4 hours at a time!!
I asked him where she was going to stay, he said he would keep it in his room. When I went into his room it was filthy with old food boxes and bags and bottles of piss scattered all over the place. I asked if he wanted help cleaning the room, he refused. I asked if I could give the cat a flea bath, he said no. I again asked how he was going to fund taking care of her without a job or time to properly take care of her and he got upset.
When he was at school today I got off from work and checked on the kitten and she was sleeping in the litter box but hasn’t used it and hasn’t touched any of the kitten food that I bought her to hold her over.
Here’s where I might be the asshole.
I told my mom that I was thinking about taking the cat to the Houston Humane Society or Mission for Paws or somewhere that has the capabilities to care for her in the way that she needs and can find her a home that suits her without my brother knowing, because I think if he knew he’d get pissed and run away with the kitten.
My mom got really pissed and said it would be wrong of me to do so, and that it would be an asshole thing to do, but I disagree.
I feel that it’s cruel and inhumane to keep a small animal with a seemingly broken leg and fleas in a small dirty room with no medical attention!!
So would I be the asshole for taking my brother’s new cat to a humane shelter without him knowing??
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I want to take my brothers new cat away from him without him knowing. I think I might be in the wrong because he very clearly cares for her and I know it would really hurt his feelings, but I also think it’s wrong for him to withhold medical attention from the kitten!
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Ultimately, I’d say NTA. It would be a little shitty to do and he will be mad, but that poor kitten is on a fast track to death if he keeps on neglecting her that way. Are you unable to take her and care for her at your own place (assuming you don’t live together)? If you can, maybe take her and keep her with you for a while. That way, it feels like less of a betrayal on your brother’s end while also making sure the kitten is actually taken care of. And you could give him some sort of ultimatum, like “I’ll give her back in this amount of time if you clean up yo it act; otherwise I’ll be rehoming her.”
NTA. If it was an inanimate object your brother chose to ignore as it fell into disrepair that would be one thing. But this is a living creature that he has neither the time, skill, or inclination to care for. If he was not your brother and you saw a stranger mistreating/neglecting an animal and you could remove the animal would you? Or at least call animal control and report them? Just because he is your brother is no excuse not to help an endangered animal.
Please get it help.
NTA.
Adult cats should be taken to the vet if they haven’t eaten in 24 hours, so obviously an injured kitten who hasn’t eaten in hours (if not days) needs to be taken IMMEDIATELY to a place which can take care of her properly.
(I didn’t know this until my previous cat wasn’t eating — I’ve had cats for years, but it was the first time I ran into this issue. We ended up having to put her to sleep after nearly three weeks of trying to keep her alive via tube-feeding.)
This is one of those situations where the genuine greater good needs to prevail, which is the kitten being cared for. If it’s not eating or using the litter box it needs help sooner rather than later. NTA, please get the cat to somewhere that can help it ASAP.
OMG.
You would be an absolute flaming AH if you did anything OTHER than take that kitten and race immediately “. . . to the Houston Humane Society or Mission for Paws or somewhere that has the capabilities to care for her in the way that she needs and can find her a home that suits her . . .”
Your hesitation alone terrifies me—and your mother’s belief that a kitten deserves to suffer in favor of preserving your brother’s precious feelings should tell you everything you need to know about the wisdom of ever asking for HER opinion about anything ever again.
Your brother’s a doorknob.
And you are most definitely NTA.
But RUN. Go NOW. Save that friggin’ kitten, STAT!
Why are you even asking? Take the kitten immediately and get it to safety, brother can be as annoyed as he likes but he doesn’t deserve to have it and the kitten doesn’t deserve the treatment he is giving it
Sucky situation. For the kitten, clearly “rescue her”. for the relationship with your brother, you’re in for DRAMA.
But the only way to have both is if you can talk sense into him, but that’d have to be today or it’s too late for the kitten :/
Possible Suggestion:
Get the kitten taken care of for now, BUT leave the option for your brother to take the kitten back if he really wants to give a cat a permanent home, once the kitten is old & healthy enough to not require special care?
I’d feel much more like “well, it’s his responsibility how he handles pet ownership” if it were a healthy teenaged kitten rather than a hurt little baby in a critical condition.
I know brother doesn’t sound like he’d be a great pet owner, but there might be options between “heck no” and “heck yes”!
Your brother is an asshole and you cannot leave that kitten there!
Have you even talked to your brother or suggested that he or someone else take the cat to the Humane Society even if it is just to have them look the cat over?
NTA. Save the cat
NTA!! OMG that poor baby! She will die if you don’t take her.
Save the kitten! Maybe later, your little brother can have it back.
Stop hesitating and get that little kitty to a vet, ASAP!
NTA – take the cat to the shelter and then volunteer as foster to adopt. Kick your brother in his nasty behind. He would have been kicked out of my house if he kept his room like that here. My house, my rules.
If kitten needs proper care and ISN’T getting it, I’d absolutely do it. Worst case scenario if you take poor kitten, his feelings are hurt, but worst case scenario if you don’t want to hurt his feelings, an innocent creature dies or suffers neglect. I’d say a life is more important than his feelings
Vet. Now.
NTA. I hope that you have already left for the vet at this point.
I’m gonna preface by saying NTA, but I feel the need (as a cat rescuer) to add some important details because there’s some misconceptions in this post.
First, there’s a pretty significant size difference between 4 weeks and 7 weeks, but a lot of feral/stray kittens are under-sized due to poor nutrition, so it can be hard to tell by size alone. How open the eyes are and what teeth they have is going to tell you more.
That said, if it is somewhere between 4 and 7 weeks old, it does not need hourly care. Mama cat would, by 4 weeks, be leaving babies alone for large chunks of time to go hunting. 7 weeks would be nearly weaned, depending on the mama. (Some moms ween really early, some let them nurse longer, but 8 weeks is the benchmark we aim for adopting kittens out.) So you don’t need to panic about it not getting fed every 2 hours if it really is within the age range you’re guessing. If it’s younger than that, then it’s definitely more of a concern, but without seeing photos of the cat, I can’t really offer an estimate for you.
Now then, I am quite concerned by how cavalier your brother is about yanking a very small and generally delicate animal out from under a car seat, where there’s a lot of metal and sometimes sharp edges. If the kitten is limping, it needs vet care asap, as even soft tissue injuries can have lifelong impact at this age if left untreated. Broken bones are an even greater concern. His lack of concern for the kitten’s welfare doesn’t bode well for its future if he kept it.
There are charities out there that help people pay for the vet care of street cats that people are rescuing, so you should check around your area and see if any have openings to help the kitten if your brother can’t afford a vet visit but really wants to keep the kitten. Your local Humane Society might have recommendations as well. If he refuses to get the kitten any medical attention, even with financial aid, then you need to call one or more local animal welfare agencies and report it. I say that because, while I don’t think removing the kitten from the situation would make you an asshole, it would, in the eyes of the law, make you a thief. Your brother could press charges against you if you take the kitten without his consent. Of course, he’d have to prove the kitten is his, which would be hard without a vet record or adoption paperwork, so do with that what you will.
I suspect your mom is upset at the idea of you taking the kitten to a shelter because she wouldn’t be able to see the kitten anymore, so she wants your brother to keep it so she can see it regularly. If you want to convince her, you need to make her see that she and your brother can’t be selfish, because if the kitten’s welfare isn’t put ahead of selfish desires to keep it because it’s cute, it will suffer in both the short and long term.
I’m not in TX, so I can’t offer you any direct help with the situation, but my inbox is open if you have any questions.
Help that baby and that brother needs to be taught a lesson about kindness.
He is abusing that kitten. Call the humane society on him.
NTA you’re saving an animal from abuse.
NTA, those free 99 kittens are not free 99. 11 months I rescued a 3 week void and I paid almost 200 in vet bills. Examination, antibiotics, and dewormer. She was half a pound and the same size as my phone.
TAKE THE CAT. NOW
NTA
NTA. Your thinking seems correct. Get the kitten real help.
The cat needs to be cared for