Me (21f) and my soon to be husband (25m) have 3 kids. One of them is my bio child, we will call her Lily (2f) and two of them are my soon to be stepchildren, who I have taken care of for four years now, we will call them Timmy (6m) and Stacy (4f). I’ll just call my fiances mother my MIL cuz it will make it easier😅. Basically, my MIL has very clearly ALWAYS favored Timmy. She has always tried to act like she was Timmy’s mother because Timmy’s mother abandoned him with my fiance. But I’ve been apart of his life since was 2. Timmy has Level 3 autism, while Stacy has a speech delay. We live with my fiances mother and his siblings because that’s just how his family works, which I don’t mind because I love all his siblings with all my heart.

I’ve grown so tired of my MIL trying to act like Timmy’s mother. We just went on a trip to Michigan and when we were there with all the kids, my MIL would call every day to see how Timmy was doing, not even asking about Stacy or Lily. Then on the night we came back home, she acted all nice but immediately came to our van to get Timmy out of the car, while Stacy and Lily tried to say hi, she was completely focused on Timmy, basically ignoring them. Then we get inside the house and she starts to claim that I ABUSE MY KIDS while I was not in the house because I was grabbing our luggage. My fiancé chooses not to tell me this til later in the night but apparently he had yelled at his mother and told her to knock it off and to stop lying. She tried to say that she heard Timmy crying on Monday and that I was hurting him, which was entirely false. I had put Stacy in timeout and she was crying because she did something she wasn’t supposed to. Timmy was actually behaving that day. Anyways, later that night while she thought I wouldn’t notice, she tries to take the kids downstairs to “put them to bed” she put Stacy in her bed but then tries to allow Timmy to go back upstairs with her. I tell my fiancé this and he immediately brings Timmy downstairs, which ended in a screaming match between his mother and him, his mother claiming Timmy isn’t safe with me and that my fiancé should quit his job and stay home because “I’m a monster when he isn’t there.” Which is absurd.

Fast forward to the next day, I had put Lily in her crib for a timeout because she started coloring all over the walls with her marker while I was cleaning up, which of course, she cried about because she is two years old. MIL immediately barges through my door and calls for Timmy, demanding he come upstairs. I tell her that my fiancé said he wants the kids to stay downstairs with me til he gets home. She immediately calls my fiancé and starts screaming at him, making stuff up. Of course, I call him to clarify things, which he assured me he wasn’t in the slightest bit concerned about. When my fiancé gets home, he shows me the messages he had in his group chat with his family, which shows his sister telling my fiancé that I need to get a job or we will be kicked out. Im a stay at home mom, and I told him, if they want to say that, then his sister can quit her job so I can get one. Ask any stay at home mom, we would GLADLY get a job😂. I chuckled and brushed it off because my fiancé’s other siblings defended the f out of me.

For the next three days, I kept the kids downstairs with me as some sort of punishment for my MIL. Then on the one night I allowed the kids back up, she was again, favoring Timmy. I was cooking dinner, and while I was cooking, she gave Timmy half of her burrito, while Stacy and Lily got none. My fiancé took the burrito away and I put dinner on the table, of course, MIL wanted Timmy to sit by her, which he chose not to do. Lily wanted to sit by her. My fiancé sat upstairs with the kids while I went downstairs to eat some ice-cream to calm down. I come back upstairs, and Timmy is sitting by MIL and has the burrito back because my fiancé is cleaning the fish tank. I become internally enraged and go downstairs again, my fiancé brings the kids downstairs soon after they are done eating (he threw the burrito away this time).

AITA for wanting to keep my children away from my MIL? I just think that Stacy and Lily will grow up to hate their grandmother and possibly hate their older brother because of the blatant favoritism. Not to mention that MIL will gladly watch Timmy but when it comes to watching Timmy, Stacy, and Lily, she often has one of my fiancé’s siblings watch them while she focuses on Timmy. I just don’t want Stacy or Lily to be hurt by their grandmothers actions. Even for Christmas or birthdays, Timmy always gets a significant amount more gifts from my fiancé’s siblings and grandmother. Lily didn’t even get a birthday present for her first birthday from anyone other than people from my side of the family or me and my fiancé while Timmy got a huge birthday party. It just hurts. And Lily’s second birthday is in two weeks as well and I’m planning on going camping for me and her birthday because me and her birthday are 6 days apart and I want to invite my fiancé’s family but I highly doubt it will be about Lily or me if they are invited, it will be all about Timmy. And if I’m being perfectly honest, it’s making me unconsciously upset at Timmy because of everyone being so unfair to my daughter and Stacy.