Pretty self explanatory to be honest. I work at a large department store in the Online Grocery Pick-Up and Delivery section. Some of my coworkers – myself included – like to play music from our phone speakers while we’re putting orders together so they’re ready to be taken out. Most of us keep our phones in our pockets and keep the volume at a reasonable level…except for my coworker who we’ll call M. M like to prop her phone up in one place with YouTube open so that everyone can see the music videos and loudly blasts Christian Pop music for everyone in the backroom to hear. I’m not Christian myself, and I don’t have a problem with anyone who enjoys that kind of music, however when I hearing loudly blaring in the workplace with the music videos playing in such an obvious way, it feels like I’m being non-consensually preached at at work. Would I be the asshole if I brought this up to my manager? Not only does it make me feel kind of bad to think about doing it, I’m worried it’ll make my managers ban any music in the backroom from being played at all, ruining it for everybody I work with, but at the same time hearing the music makes me so uncomfortable it’s affecting my ability to do my job.
Edit: Just to clarify some things because I can’t reply to every comment that brings this up. First of all, I jumped to talking to a manager first because I’m a very non-confrontational and anxious person, and going to management would be easier for me. Second, my workplace does not allow earbuds, so that’s not an option.
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Pretty self explanatory to be honest. I work at a large department store in the Online Grocery Pick-Up and Delivery section. Some of my coworkers – myself included – like to play music from our phone speakers while we’re putting orders together so they’re ready to be taken out. Most of us keep our phones in our pockets and keep the volume at a reasonable level…except for my coworker who we’ll call M. M like to prop her phone up in one place with YouTube open so that everyone can see the music videos and loudly blasts Christian Pop music for everyone in the backroom to hear. I’m not Christian myself, and I don’t have a problem with anyone who enjoys that kind of music, however when I hearing loudly blaring in the workplace with the music videos playing in such an obvious way, it feels like I’m being non-consensually preached at at work. Would I be the asshole if I brought this up to my manager? Not only does it make me feel kind of bad to think about doing it, I’m worried it’ll make my managers ban any music in the backroom from being played at all, ruining it for everybody I work with, but at the same time hearing the music makes me so uncomfortable it’s affecting my ability to do my job.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I belive that I would be the asshole because I would be shaming my coworker into not listening to the music she enjoys. I haven’t taken any action yet, but I’m considering having my manager ask her to stop playing here Christian Pop music so loudly in the backroom.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YWBTA if you DON’T ask your boss to tell your coworker to stop playing Christian pop music in the workplace.
NTA but be prepared for the boss to say no music.
NTA. I don’t care what the music is. Don’t play it out loud at work, on the bus, on the train, etc.
YWBTA if you bring it up with your manager without speaking directly to the coworker first. Don’t talk to her about the content, just the volume and location.
And if she refuses, decide whether it’s worth losing access to all music being available before bringing it up with your manager.
YWBTA, tell them yourself first. Why do you have to go to the manager and potentially cause trouble for everybody? You can just say you’d appreciate it if she’d lower the volume so it doesn’t bother others like you say you all do.
Am I evil? by Diamondhead should even things out a bit…. folllow up with Mercyful Fate, King Diamond and, of course, Slayer…
Your manager is definitely going to say no music allowed at all. Be prepared for that.
ESH, you all should get some damn headphones, this sounds horrible
Also, your boss definitely cannot say she is not allowed to listen to religious music at work, they’d be open to a discrimination complaint. So no, if you’re all going to listen to music you need to buck up and accept that she likes Christian music
> ‘m worried it’ll make my managers ban any music in the backroom
Probably. Why I always advise atleast having a convo and point out how everyone carries there phone and keeps volume so they can hear but quiet enough for everyone else. Frankly, I love the concept, everyone just moving in their own lil bubble!
Hope you get a good result. NAH.
I mean, I would respond with blasting the call to prayer. Or maybe the Satanic Temple has some anthems? If someone is nonconsensually preaching, it’s unlikely a polite ask will help, so I doubt a polite, respectful conversation will help. As another commenter said, if you go to management, you would not be TA, but the result may be no music. NTA whatever you decide.
YWNTBTA
Yta
Get rid of all music.
ESH – Complaining to management is how you make it so no one can play music on their phones.. which affects everyone.
Everyone is doing it, and someones choice may be annoying, but you should talk to THEM about it.
NTA – IF and only if its because the music is too loud. That really should be the only complaint. Once you are allowing music to be played out loud in public, any of your co-workers can hear it. You didnt allow their input on your music choices so you dont get input on their music choices. It really is now about their music invading your space unilaterally no matter where you go. So talk to them first about turning it down to a more reasonable level, and keeping it on their person.
I would ask her directly before going to the manager. It’s rude to assume that others want to hear your music, no matter what kind of music it is.
Play your own music at the same relative volume level as your coworker. Ghost would be fun. If M says anything to you, then you can escalate.
Ultimately, if there’s a conflict, the rule will come down stating ‘no music whatsoever’. It’s the easiest solution for management to enact that doesn’t appear to infringe upon anyone’s faith or taste in music.
There is no need to bring up the type of music. You can simply say your don’t want to hear someone else’s music. Why does it matter if it’s Christian. It would be annoying regardless of the genre.
ESH. Every person playing things at audible volume on tinny-ass phone speakers without headphones sucks.
Blast music from the nation of Islam to give her a taste of their own medicine.
Yta, try talking to them first and explaining how you feel politely and see if they change it. If not than go and talk to your manager.
“I’m worried it’ll make my managers ban any music in the backroom from being played at all”
this is what will happen if you complain
YTA but not for what you think; it’s because you and your coworkers created the environment where Christian music person can “ignore” the implied civilities. Each of you who listened to music without your headphones tacitly OK’d this behavior, but now you’re complaining because you don’t like the type of music they’re playing? Yeah the managers should nip all this in the bud, especially if you all are going around the store packing groceries while customers are shopping.
ESH
Nobody should be playing their music on their phones, annoying other people with their crappy music. Headphones exist.
Nta
NTA but frame it as you just dont want him playing music loudly for everyone else to hear when you all have your own music you’d like to listen to. don’t make it about content or then he can come back and say he doesn tlike your music “that promotes sin” or something. Just make it about him loudly playing his own music and irritating others with the volume. do not try to make it about policing who can listen to what
ESH (and you will 100% get music banned for all of your coworkers if you pursue this so you better decide if that’s worth it.)
ESH— NO music should be played, because not everyone will be happy.
Why does no one have headphones?
NTA – as long as you’ve attempted a friendly chat first. Hi can you do what the rest of us do? Hey please stop pressing your religious beliefs in the work place it’s really uncomfortable.
I’m going to talk to manager about this please stop.
If when it blows up in your face I recommend Godsmack, Otep, Hu, Blackbraid…. This will eventually lead to an ultimatum from management about headphones or no music at all.
NTA
NTA. But ask him to put on headphones first. Just say something like, ‘Hey man, that’s really loud and it’s distracting while I’m trying to get stuff done. Could you put in some earbuds?”
I would do it before she did with my music
Not me seeing this as a coworker is listening to loud ass worship music and also singing along. Badly, might I add. I don’t think we can have much say over the type of music people listen to, with the exception of (any kind!) of religious music in a secular workplace, and maybe stuff with tons of profanity.
Talk to your co-worker first, “Hey M, do you mind keeping your music a little lower, so i can here mine?” ESH – I’m a very non-confrontational this is an excuse you are giving yourself so you don’t have to talk to anyone… at some point you need to learn to fight your own battles
YWBTA.
Management is definitely going to decide that all music is forbidden, rather than just telling one coworker, whose music you dislike, to stop.
Best case scenario is a limit on volume or a time-sharing thing where different people get to pick the music on different days. Maybe you’ll end up with some elevator music.
NTA, but all music will offend someone somehow at some point. Even classical music folks have some composers they don’t like to listen to. The best case scenario here is none of you will have any music, the worst case scenario is you will have to have a meeting about it and all the glances at M will tell them who it’s about.
Yta. Complaining to management is how you get everyone’s music taken away, not just hers. Ask her to turn it down, nicely.
ESH. Yes, your coworker is being a butt by playing her music louder than everyone else. This could have all been avoided had y’all not set a precedent that it’s totally okay to listen to music without headphones. YTA in particular for considering going to the manager because you don’t like the TYPE of music she’s listening to. Every song has a message, you just disagree with this one. My bet is she probably disagrees with the messages of some of the music you and your coworkers are listening to, but at least she didn’t complain to the manager
NTA if it’s really about the loudness of the music, but the fact that you had to bring up that it’s Christian music leads me to believe you have more of a problem with that than anything. If that’s the case then you’re an asshole for sure