My (39F) daughter (11F) has a name that I feel is pretty common, without any unusual spellings or anything. While she was growing up, people would often get the last letter of her name wrong and I wouldn’t say anything. If they noticed and apologized, I said it was no big deal. Not her actual name, but think Christine, and constantly being called Christina.
Over the last few months, I have also noticed that it’s an almost constant issue and she has asked not to go by her full name because it bothers her when people get it wrong. I even filled in an electronic request for her to have a library card and they STILL spelled it wrong.
I’m considering being more forceful about it when I see the mistake. Correcting it every single time, theoretically without being rude. Is this a weird hill to die on? Should I talk to my daughter about it? Just let her always use her nickname? Or is this something that, since it is clearly affecting her, is sort of my job as her parent to support her over?
EDIT:
Thank you all for your responses! I’m trying to respond to everyone but didn’t expect so many people! I’m going to have a chat with her about what would make her feel most comfortable going forward and let her know her dad and I have her back, regardless of her decision!
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My (39F) daughter (11F) has a name that I feel is pretty common, without any unusual spellings or anything. While she was growing up, people would often get the last letter of her name wrong and I wouldn’t say anything. If they noticed and apologized, I said it was no big deal. Not her actual name, but think Christine, and constantly being called Christina.
Over the last few months, I have also noticed that it’s an almost constant issue and she has asked not to go by her full name because it bothers her when people get it wrong. I even filled in an electronic request for her to have a library card and they STILL spelled it wrong.
I’m considering being more forceful about it when I see the mistake. Correcting it every single time, theoretically without being rude. Is this a weird hill to die on? Should I talk to my daughter about it? Just let her always use her nickname? Or is this something that, since it is clearly affecting her, is sort of my job as her parent to support her over?
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> I worry about being too forceful over an issue that may be insignificant. I could become the mom that complains over nothing, which could affect my daughter. On the opposite side, I could be the AH if I don’t support my daughter.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Her name is her name. I’d say go ahead and correct it every time; just start out being pleasant about it.
At 11 she can choose to use a nickname, however i don’t think it’s AH behavior to correct it. Names are important and I am the one who will call it out if someone mispronounces or misspells someone else’s name. I also correct people when they call me by a common nickname of my own name, which I don’t like and don’t want to go by.
NTA but if she is more comfortable using a shortened form, just let her use it.
NTA, but the one thing to do is ask your daughter what she wants.
Correct them, otherwise the mistake will continue until it goes so long that it becomes awkward to do so.
I have an unusual name and I let it go. Now I have friends who I’ve known for decades who spell my name incorrectly.
NTA
WNBTAH People did this ALL the time growing up with my last name. Just politely correct them every time, and reassure your daughter that she’s not being rude if she politely corrects people either. Stand on business. It’s her name
INFO: is the only reason she wants to use her nickname as the default because that’s what people usually write down anyway? Or if she feels connected to either name, what’s the problem with it sometimes being her formal name and sometimes being her nickname?
Or to put it another way, is this YOU feeling like the name is the name you picked, or her feeling like people are writing down a name that doesn’t feel right to her?
NTA if she sees you correcting people from a young age she might get the confidence to learn boundaries!
NTA, i have a common name people mispell/say incorrectly often by one letter (was even incorrect on a plaque one time!) and its intensely frustrating. as long as your daughter isn’t uncomfortable with the added confrontation i say go for it
NTA, but be prepared for people not to give a shit.
I’m in the same boat. Name is pretty straight forward but people add an “ah” at the end that doesn’t exist. Ive given up on correcting at this point.
Even with a nickname she will run into problems. I went my nickname all through school and people constantly spelled it wrong. During the first day of school the teachers would always use my formal name but even then half they time they pronounced it Michael rather than Michelle. It drove me nuts. Ask your daughter if she wants you to correct everyone who spells her formal name incorrectly. There is a vast difference between Christine and Christina. Simply telling everyone there is no a at the end of her name, instead there is an e, and it’s pronounced CRIS-TINE. People do not pay attention so you have to call it out, as long as your daughter wants you do that. It’s her name afterall.
Ywnbta – I get the same thing with my name and it’s frustrating because it’s not ME. What is it they say? “The sweetest sound someone can make is saying your name?” Or something like that.
A gentle: oh, it’s Christine, without the “ah” should help.
(I also let a good friend of mine misname my dog for over 2 years. She always added an “s” to the end. It was over text and I didn’t really care. I thought it was funny that I spelled it right there without the s and she’d add the s when she wrote it. I didn’t correct her until we moved closer. Now she adds 10 of them to the end of her name. lol)
As a Louisa, I sympthatize. People automatically default to Louise when I use my legal name.
To make matters worse, when I was married to my first husband, one of my SIL’s actually was named Louise. And we had the same middle name.
INFO
> a name that I feel is pretty common, without any unusual spellings or anything
How sure are you about that?
Like if you run them through Google’s Ngram viewer, how do they compare?
Weird hill to die on if you ask me. Gonna be a lot of energy over the course of your life put towards something that isn’t done maliciously. People always misspell both my name and surname. I never bother to correct them. Who cares 🤷🏻♀️ only time it matters is when i give someone my email address in which case i always double & triple check it’s correct as chances are high that they have at least one name incorrect.
Seems to me it might be better just to accept it. It’s just a name.
NTA – just talk to your daughter and see how she feels. Sometimes it’s so embarrassing to constantly have your parent seemingly being aggressive with people (even if that’s not what you are doing, it can seem that way to a kid). At the same time, she may feel disappointed/disrespected by the constant misspelling and she may appreciate the support
NTA
It’s not rude to request people use the correct name. I have a very similar type of name. I go my a shortened version/ nickname because I was sick of correcting people, I started as a teenager. I can actually tell who knows me before/ after because of the name they call me. I have spent literal years of my life explaining my name is X not Xn. Even people who have it written in front of their face still can’t get it right. It’s annoying but not too serious for me. Have a chat with your daughter, if she wants the nickname go for it, if she prefers her original name, then fight.
NTA at all. Correct them EVERY time they say it wrong. Be nice to those that are a first time offender, but dont hold back to people that you have had to correct multiple times. Your daughter has said that it bothers her, so it is your job as her parent to help fix this problem. Until she feels comfortable correcting them herself.
I have a name that most commonly has an extra vowel in the middle of it and can be pronounced 2 ways. But the way my name is splet can only be said one way and it bugs the crap out of me when people spell it wrong or say it wrong. Like, if you would actually read it, you would easily be able to say it correctly. ( no extra vowel = no extra syllable). Even though I have gone by a nickname my entire life, I hate when people do not say/write my actual name correctly.
You have every right to do it and so does your daughter. It is her name. And weird spelling or not, it is a form of respect to say or write someone’s name correctly. So, be firm.
NTA but why is it constantly being misspelled and mispronounced if it is a common with common spelling?
I was that kid, eventually ended up changing my name entirely as an adult. Follow what she wants but make it clear that if she really loves her name it should be up to her to insist and nobody but her has any right to force an identity on her.
I think it is fine to let her go by a nickname if she wants, but I would still correct people. I mean, you do have to register her for school with her full name, and other things need her full name, so a gentle correction isn’t a bad thing.
NTA, but I think how you deal with this has to be her choice and deserves a conversation with your daughter. I have a name that’s slightly unusual where I leave, AND it’s pretty close to another name that is very, very popular. People always read mine wrong and call me the other name, and it’s a constant struggle that I have personally decided is worth the inconvenience because I love my name and don’t want to be called anything other than that. However, I know many others who prefer nicknames or variations to their name and so they wouldn’t go around correcting people like I do. It’s a personal choice that has to come from your daughter and I advice you to follow along with whatever SHE feels comfortable with.
NTA, just make sure your daughter is comfortable with it first because she might not want you to make a big deal about it. Personally, though, people still misspell my name even when they read it in my email.
NTA – I f your daughter is comfortable about a fuss being made, by all means go there!
This kind of thing is so annoying. Especially that whole “can’t be bothered” energy from repeat offenders.
My last name is a German version of a name that’s more commonly anglicized, and keeping it accurate in documentation is a nightmare. I’ve even had the SSI offices randomly “correct” the spelling, and then making me spend a day to come to the office in person to get them to fix their error.
More often it’s just shortened & used as a nickname in place of my actual name.
And the looks given when you point out the error, OMG. I’m at the point where I’m ready to just call repeat offenders by whatever name occurs to me in the moment, because hey, getting it right isn’t important, is it.
NTA I had to keep telling people, including family, they were spelling my daughter’s name wrong. Teachers tried to tell her that her name was spelled wrong and then were adding extra letters to her name 🤬 It really annoyed my daughter and in turn, me.
Keep correcting them, every single time they do it!
Heheheh, and here I am with a very oddly spelled name for my middle name that I take a maniacal glee in making people try to spell or pronounce it. Summon the demons, shall you? Pronounce my name incorrectly, and they shall come.
Stand on this hill. It’s your daughter’s name. Even if it’s a tragedeigh, it’s still her name and it’s bothering her. Go do your momma thing.
NTA.
Check with your daughter first, obviously. If she wants to let it go, then let it go.
If she wants to correct society also, then yes, do that. However, you need to do it without drama, without anger. It’s like correcting someone when they use your pronouns wrong. Give an automatic, almost subconscious correction, and move on.
“So last year when Christina was here, she <some action>.”
“Christine. What happened next?”
etc
NTA
NTA for things like library card and especially any form of medical or school records.
For random social things, talk to her. Ask her if she’d like you to (in advance about certain types of situations).
But respect her and call her Chris if she wants you to.
YWNBTA – Name corrections are never wrong when given as they’re the indication of how to address you as an individual. I have both a first name and a surname that people get wrong all the time. The last part of the first name has two different ways of being spelled, and the surname sounds different to how it’s written. So, I get both verbal and written problems.
I correct it where I care to as sometimes it really doesn’t matter, like in casual conversation with a passing stranger. Some people are glad you did; others don’t really care because you’re just passing through, but you should always make sure that it’s correctly written on any documentation like the library card.
NTA but if you choose unique spelling, it does come with the territory
I have an easy first name and a difficult surname. I don’t fuss if the latter is incorrect.
But I raised holy hell when I was first issued my email by my company and my first name was wrong. Like, c’mon. I probably wouldn’t have said a word if it were my surname. But I made them fix my first name. They didn’t want to but I just couldn’t handle it. Lol
NTA my daughter has a name that can be mistaken for first and middle name but it’s just one name her first name. She is 14 and basically says to new people “My name is blank – all one word” because we’ve had to correct so many people who try to shorten it when saying or capitalize the second half when writing.
NTA.
My mother constantly corrected people who shortened my name (think Susan to Sue).
You gave your daughter a particular name, with common spelling. That’s her name, and people should respect that.
NTA
Always make sure her name is correct on official documents and even ones that are perhaps less important like library cards. But then add that she likes to be called by a nickname if that’s what she prefers
Ex. Her name is Christine, not Christina. She prefers to be called Christy.
r/tragedeigh is probably the place for your frustration. You’ll see lol.
NTA. I have a name like that, I’m in my 30s, and it’s still a struggle. At this point I don’t have a problem correcting people about it myself, but it’s worth talking to your daughter about, if not now then sometime in the next few years. Be open to it if she wants to go by a nickname, her middle name, or a new name entirely.
I started going by a shortened nickname as a teen, and I still use that nickname socially, but I use my full name professionally.
Correct it. As a Michelle with 2 Ls I feel her pain . Michele is not my name. It doesn’t even feel like my name. When I look at that Michele with one L it looks like any other name – ie – not mine. . I’m sure your daughter feels the same.
A person’s name is who they are. NTA for expecting people to use her correct name.
Even if it’s an uncommon one.
NTA for correcting the misspelling of her name. YWBTA if you insisted that she go by her full name rather than letting her use a nickname. It’s incredibly annoying and at some point she might start to push back, but she’s old enough to make that call herself.
YWNBTA. You teach her how to hold others accountable. You teach her that it’s good to stand up and correct people who are doing it wrong.
NTA. I have a pretty common last name but people misspell it 99% of the time so I almost always spell it when I give it to people. That really only reduces the misspelling rate to 75% but spelling my name for people is just part of my life.
You can correct people politely without being an AH. I have a name that’s pretty common but the alternate with an extra letter is more common and I get called that name a lot. When I tell someone my correct name they usually respond “Oh my bad, I didn’t know!” And I almost always reply, “No worries, as long as one of us knows, we’re good!” People tend to feel bad and you can make it lighthearted. You will be the AH though if you continue to let people call your child the wrong name.
NTA my sons name has an S at the end and it’s extremely easy to say yet people continue to say it with out the S and I always correct them
NTA My name is Janis. I have spent my life telling people it’s not Janice. I will die on the hill with you for your daughters name.
NTA. People just don’t pay attention. My last name ends with an s but for most people in the US, it ends with a z. I always say, “S like Sam,” and they almost always spell it “Z like Zam.”
Let her take the lead and go with what she wants. As a teacher I notice a lot of kids would rather give up on the correct spelling or pronunciation of their name because they are so sick of dealing with it. Names are important and it’s important for teachers and peers to get names right, BUT a kid also has the autonomy to stop fighting it if they prefer.
This is the right hill to die on. I’m now 71, but when I was young I was the only female I’d heard of that had the feminine version of a typically male name. I can’t tell you how many times that screwed me up in school, when I started working, and when I started paying taxes. People kept trying to “correct” the spelling and I went with the no harm no foul attitude until it effected my social security and HR tried to yell at me for not having my correct name connected to my SS number. Oh and then I worked at a place where I got deductions to go toward US savings bonds. Gov’t worker didn’t change the name but changed me from a Miss to a Mr., bless their little heart. The bank didn’t want to cash in my bonds. I think they were about ready to call the cops on me until I started pulling various things out of my purse like old paystubs, credit cards, etc. Stick to her proper name for all things official.
My name isnt common as a name but it is a common enough word for english speakers. Ive had full on adults botch my name. I dont correct people, i just laugh a little.
I have a common name. If you switch the last vowel for another vowel, it becomes another name. I will foreect people every time. I hate being called the incorrect name.
I am 71 years old. My name is Candice and people call me Candy. 98 percent of the people cannot and will not spell this correctly. And I am talking about my sister in law who misspelled my name in the obit for my mother in law. I have been her sister in law for 48 years. Candy is a fairly normal name ( as every strip club seems to have one) but every one wants to put their own twist on it.
She will have to fight this her entire life, it would be nice if you could take the stress off for a few years.
I’m 50yrs old and have spent a lot of my life being called Lisa or Lilly, neither of which are my name but both are close enough that I stopped caring about it in my teens. If the person making the mistake isn’t a regular person in their life, let it be.
Im a Jessie, and I can’t count how many times I’ve been called Jessica in my whole life, even when people were reading my name from right in front of them. 😩 It’s a nightmare. I used to let it slide, but now at my big age (26) I’m trying to correct people more 😂
Honestly though, ask your daughter if that’s what she wants because me personally, I would have appreciated it, but also hated that it would have had to be done in the first place. You WNBTA though
This is a hill to die on. Don’t let people decide she has an alias, or it will end up listed on her credit report as an alias.
You should be proofreading and correcting it each and every time. I have a name like your example, and it’s often spelled wrong and I speak
Up and fix it every time.
If you’ve spent anytime on r/tragedeigh you’ll realize how refreshingly wonderful Christine is. NTA – but people are terrible at spelling names. My name is Jun, THREE letters long but I get Juan, June, Jan, Jon, Juon, Joon, etc all the time. I correct it when needed, like official forms but I let go of the rest. It’s not worth the energy involved in explaining it.
NTA FIGHT FOR IT!! It can make a difference, especially in things involving finances and insurance.
My name has multiple spellings that are all perfectly acceptable. I used to not get too fussed, until I got insurance in 2007 for the first time. I remembered back in the ’70s I broke my arm, and there was about a year of a bunch of letters between my parents, the health insurance company, and the hospital. Hospital said pay us. Parents said we have insurance. Insurance said we don’t have a subscriber by the name “Anne”. Parents told hospital the child’s name is Ann, try again. Hospital resubmitted for Anne. This went on for close to a year, until finally my mom got snarky and called the hospital to talk to someone who knew how to read.
I live in a small town, my family were big fish in a small pond. Then several years ago, someone with the name, unrelated, but different spelling moved in. Her husband has the same name as my uncle. Unfortunately, these new folks are not good people. He made the papers for beating up a woman, the dog warden had to take their animals, they didn’t pay bills (which would be delivered to my uncle or me, and the post office didn’t understand the different address), and they messed up our accounts with merchants in town. After that, whenever anyone mentions anything about Anne/Ann Lastname, I ask how the name is spelled.
Not the same at all, but I have a very uncommon last name. Moderately difficult for people to spell and pronounce.
Back in grad school my roommate wrote me a check (yes I’m that old) and she misspelled my name. When I pointed it out to her, she said, “I can either say it right or spell it right. Pick one.”. I decided to find it funny
I know my mom, and now that’s she quite old me, are constantly correcting people for same kind of thing. And the Christine/Christina example you gave, sums up what happens to and/or concerning my mom. Getting someone’s name correct is something that people should make effort to get right. One side to correct, the other side aim not to repeat misspelling/mispronunciation. I don’t think I’m being an AH when I correct people, so you get big NTA from me. Not only do I think you’re okay to correct people, but not doing so is to kind of letting the wrong name catch on
NAH
No one can spell my name in any capacity, despite all parts of it being phonetically spelled.
So, what is there to do?
When asked for my first name, I immediately spell my first name without waiting for them to guess or ask.
When I need to spell out my last name, I immediately spell my name without prompting.
It’s part of life. Expecting people to be able to spell a name correctly when Jon is spelled so many different ways… it’s just setting yourself up for failure.
Give the name, spell it, and then move on.
This is about personal expectations, reframe yours.
Edit: typos
No, and you should have been doing this all along. They had her name wrong and it was bothering her this whole time, and you should have been on top of it for the last 11 years. It only didn’t bother you.
And you’re only considering it? Do your job as a parent, finally.
You can’t make your daughter accept her full name over her nickname either, even if you prefer the nickname. This has always been the case for people, but that ship has doubly sailed for you since you let the problem build up for years by your failure to do anything proactive about it.
Honestly, did you expect your toddler/child to speak up to correct adults when you weren’t ever doing it?
My name is Sheila. My friend since 4th grade (over 50 years ago) still spells my name as Shiela. I correct her every single time because it’s my goddamn name and my friend should remember. She claims her dyslexia makes her spell my name wrong. I claim that my name being Sheila should make her double check.
It’s not a weird hill, it’s insisting that her name be spelled correctly.
YWNBTA. My maiden name is similar. People always get one letter wrong. My license was actually misspelt when I first got it and it was a nightmare to try and fix. My mother in law misspelt my last name ON WEDDING NOTICES (my immediate family found it kinda hilarious as we’re used to it but she was mortified). I ended up just preemptively spelling or correcting it, using your example: “Her name is Christine with an e at the end” or even just “It’s Christine spelt C-H-R-I-S-T-I-N-E” (with a little extra emphasis on the E).
No.
My daughter’s name is Laura, but she’s frequently called “Lauren.” I imagine people named “Lauren” have the reverse problem. One day I saw my daughter’s company credit card from her employer, and it had “Lauren” as her name.
I am flabbergasted at how you filled out your daughter’s name online and the computer made the same mistake people do.
My son’s name is commonly mispronounced and misspelled. Our last name is the same way. It’s SO FRUSTRATING but I correct it every single time. He has started to as well and my daughter corrects with the last name. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with making sure your name is pronounced correctly and spelled correctly. You are not being rude, disrespectful, or a problem.
My name is Ashley.
I’ve had it spelled Ashly, Ashely, Ashlee, and Ashlie.
I hate how many ways people spell Ashley. I just never let it get to me as annoying as it gets because I know that it’ll happen again.
My kids are Connor and Cayden, and the number of times their names have been misspelled is laughable. I’d be rich if I had a nickel for each.
My last name is extremely unusual, less than 100 people on Facebook have it and they are all related to me to some degree. I’m in my mid 40s and I’ve had it misspelled, mispronounced, and people just not even attempt it and call me by my first name at appointments because it’s so…..”wtf how do you pronounce that thing.”
Your kiddo will either eventually get over it, learn to live with it (begrudgingly), or change their legal name when they are old enough. For now, you’re NTA and you need to start teaching kiddo to have some thicker skin because the world is a cruel place.
For 11 years, you’ve been letting people use the wrong name for your daughter, and only now want to correct this… are you talking about Starbucks baristas putting the wrong name? Absolutely let her use a nickname. If you’ve been letting people screw up official documents and people who are regularly in her life, you’ve been screwing up all along. Fix the library card and make sure that everyone learns your daughter’s name. Let her use a nickname, but you need to stand up for her.
In the example you’ve used, it’s literally a different name. Keep correcting people. Teach your daughter to keep correcting people. Names have meaning and power and we deserve to be called by the name we want.
NTA. I like your idea of having a talk with her because her preference is most important. I have an uncommon name that people often misspell and mispronounce. If I’m going to correct someone, I weight it on the importance. Is it a document that I’m going to use often like medical forms, legal paperwork, library cards, etc-then I’d correct it. Is it an order at a cafe, or something that I’m going to use once and never think about again? Then I don’t. Same thing with people. I’d correct the subs once during school. I’d correct my teachers (or long term subs) multiple times. I also don’t like my name because it’s hard to spell and pronounce but I also don’t like any of the nicknames for it.
You should definitely get your daughters input on what she is most comfortable using around others. That aside, be direct and blunt when people get her actual name wrong. My aunt who passed would get so angry when people called her Diane, when her name was Diana, that she finally started referencing the Michael Jackson song “dirty diana” just in an effort to get people to say it right. And you know what.. it worked. Even as I child I would have to say the song in my head to remember which was the right version (to be fair us kids used a nickname for her and rarely her birth name).
If you can think of any famous or popular titles with her correct name in it, consider using that to help remind people, and consider suggesting it to your daughter also. My aunt said she had few problems after she started using the song to point out the correct version, and she did this most of her life because it drove her that insane to hear herself referred to by the wrong one.
Edit: And no, nta, standing up for your daughter is fine so long as it doesn’t make her uncomfortable.
My daughter’s name is Kaitlin. There are a zillion ways to spell it lol. People get it wrong all the time. My daughter corrects people herself. Either with the spelling or when people try giving her a nickname. My name is Katherine and there are obviously several ways to spell that too. I just learned over time to spell my name outloud before people start writing it or had a chance to ask. Politely of course. People tried giving me nicknames growing up (Kat, Kathy,Kate etc). I always just smiled and said “nope, just Katherine “.
NTA. My name is Alexandra but over the last ten years or so people seem to have forgotten that name exists, and instead call me Alexandria. Seems minor to them but it’s a big deal to me. It’s NOT my name! Go on and keep correcting. It’s important.
I have a name that people constantly misspelled or mispronounced. Think like Kayla my name is spelled just like it sounds and people get it wrong all the time. I always correct them every time, I simply say with a smile say my name is (insert name here) not Kayla, but you can call me Kay (think a shorten version of my name) if it would be easier to remember. And I leave it at that. But if they try to call my full first name and get it wrong or the continue to misspell it I keep correcting them.
NTA. I have a very common name that either ends with an -e or doesn’t. I do have an -e. People frequently say an -a by mistake. And oddly to me, some people say it as if it was -ie.
I usually correct people who I might be around more than once on pronunciation or spelling. I don’t correct people at places like drive-thrus and coffee shops. People who I’m unlikely to see again. There’s a balance to be found.
Named Suzanne…not Susan, and no they aren’t the same name. Drives me crazy and when people spell “Susan” when it’s specifically pronounced “ Suzanne”. I think it’s rude along with being ignorant. Will answer to Sue or even Suzie, Susan is a no go. Have corrected people my entire life and still do. I’ve purposely called people a wrong name and told them if they call me by my correct name I’ll quit calling them the wrong name. It’s worked in some situations. I’m not a bitch, I just know my name.
NTA. Correct away! Imagine her high-school diploma or college certificates being spelled wrong, and employers think it’s from another person? Or she gets taken on a plane but sorry, can’t go because ticket name doesn’t match passport name? Medical insurance refused because of same? Correct every instance. And maybe give her a couple of visiting cards with her name spelled in 72pt font if it will fit.
My name is often spelled wrong and I’m told that when I was a baby and an official wrote it down wrong and didn’t want to correct it, my father got hold of his tie and wouldn’t let go until the spelling was as it should be. Probably didn’t happen as told because that’d be frowned upon by officials and dad wasn’t agressive like that, but it did get corrected.
It’s important and people are overly careless.
NTA my name has an usual spelling and I just decline to use or sign anything with a wrong spelling.
Maybe your daughter prefers a nickname?
NTA. I have a name like this. I correct people every time. It’s basic to know how to spell and pronounce someone’s name. If they can’t respect that most basic thing, they couldn’t possibly respect and get to know me as a person.
Literally, the only people I don’t correct with this are baristas at places like Starbucks who I will never see you again. Everyone else: if you give a bare minimum shit about me, you spell and say my name correctly.
Thank you for advocating for your daughter.
Kid in my class had her name written wrong in the register 1st year there. She spent 3 weeks every time they shouted Eve Surname, shed reply it’s Eva E V A 30 years ago I still can’t hear the name Eva without thinking E V A
My name is Sarah, not Sara. I’m sensitive about my “H” and correct it every time. Correct your daughter’s name every time too.
NTA at all…I have a similar issue but the biggest factor for my mom was how to say my name. Think ‘o’ vs ‘a’ vowel sound. It was my mom’s hill to die on and I grew up being annoyed but not overly upset. I only used my nickname anyway so the corrections were for people who didn’t know me and new teachers. Now as an adult, I work on a bigger campus and interact with people who mostly see my email… I HATE when people use my full name incorrectly. At this point I don’t even give them the option to use my nick name at work because it’s a hassle to constantly correct when they primarily see my full name on documents. I go by my last name because it annoys me so much and ppl don’t understand the issue. But like, it’s my name y’know. It feels like they don’t care enough to learn my name, so hell yeah! Correct them every time, just be polite and firm.
Wife and I named our daughter (now 22) a not common name but one that has been around for a long time and seemingly easy to spell as we’d only seen one way it was ever spelled. Easy…..WRONG!!!! Holy hell the mispellings, added syllables in pronunciations! From 2-3 syllables…we just let it be. It wasn’t worth trying to stem the tide. Even 22 yrs later, she has an aunt that still uses 3 syllables to say it and still spells it wrong!! life is too short for this battle!!!
I have been correcting the spelling of my name from the bog standard version to the older, far superior IMO version on my birth certificate for my entire life. NTA.
NTA.
My name is Sara, without an h. That’s how I introduce myself to anyone likely to write it down.
I have an uncommon spelling of my name as well. Think Ana instead of Anna. People will write me fb messages where my name is correctly spelled RIGHT THERE and they still somehow spell it wrong. I’ve corrected family, friends, teachers, bosses, strangers, etc for over 33 years. It still happens consistently. I get your daughters irritation. I wish my mom had stepped up and said something to people when I was younger instead of telling me to let it be all the time.
My name is Natalie. I get Natalia, Natasha, Nathalie, Natty, and Nat. I DGAF what version people call me, TBH. I answer to all of them. It’s kind of a weird hill to die on and being a dick about it isn’t going to help the issue. As long as her name is spelled properly on things like her driver license/ID and passport she is just going to have to deal with people spelling her name wrong or figure out how she wants to personally handle it. Learning advocate for herself is an important life lesson. Maybe talk to her about strategies for how she wants to deal with it. NAH
I’d rather my mom have corrected my name for people than tell me to just go by the incorrect name to avoid looking “rude”. It got to the point where she yelled at me for correcting people (politely!) when they got my name wrong. If she wanted me to go by the incorrect name, she should have named me that one!
Correct correct correct, people are just careless and don’t give a flying monkey if you don’t correct them.
NTA. I have an odd spelling of a not common name. I correct new people the first few times (or put my foot down if it is an official thing, like teacher or library card). I’ve found how people react and try or not try to get it right to be an excellent red flag predictor.