I (17F) am turning 18 on October 17th and am planning on having dinner with my friends on the 18th. I have two main friend groups–one from high school (6 other girls) and one from elementary school (also 6 other girls).
I spend time with both groups, but I prefer hanging out with my high school friends more. My elementary school friends are always busy with their own lives so usually I don’t get to see them, which is fine by me.
Recently, I’ve been feeling extremely drained and upset when I hang out with my elementary school friends. For context, they’re much more religious than my high school friends and it feels like I’m getting constantly preached to about what’s right and what’s not. I feel like I have to hide my actual personality and humor when I’m around them, while I feel like I can be myself and let loose with my high school friend group.
I also feel kind of overshadowed in my elementary school friend group. I try to make myself heard but most of the time it genuinely feels like nobody is paying attention to me, but my high school friend group feels more close-knit with each other where we all listen and respect what someone else has to say. There was also a time where the entire elementary group went to the city without telling me prior and I had to find out from one of the girl’s brothers, so I am arguably a bit salty about that.
I’ve known my elementary friends for almost 13 years now but I think we’re drifting apart from everyone heading off to college. The rest of them seem to want to hang onto the relationship we have but I just can’t take being around them anymore. It feels like a sunk cost fallacy, in a way.
I’ve already talked to two of my best friends from my high school friend group about it. One friend says I should avoid the topic of my birthday as much as possible if they bring it up.
I haven’t had any discussion with the elementary friend group about my birthday yet. WIBTA?
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I (17F) am turning 18 on October 17th and am planning on having dinner with my friends on the 18th. I have two main friend groups–one from high school (6 other girls) and one from elementary school (also 6 other girls).
I spend time with both groups, but I prefer hanging out with my high school friends more. My elementary school friends are always busy with their own lives so usually I don’t get to see them, which is fine by me.
Recently, I’ve been feeling extremely drained and upset when I hang out with my elementary school friends. For context, they’re much more religious than my high school friends and it feels like I’m getting constantly preached to about what’s right and what’s not. I feel like I have to hide my actual personality and humor when I’m around them, while I feel like I can be myself and let loose with my high school friend group.
I also feel kind of overshadowed in my elementary school friend group. I try to make myself heard but most of the time it genuinely feels like nobody is paying attention to me, but my high school friend group feels more close-knit with each other where we all listen and respect what someone else has to say. There was also a time where the entire elementary group went to the city without telling me prior and I had to find out from one of the girl’s brothers, so I am arguably a bit salty about that.
I’ve known my elementary friends for almost 13 years now but I think we’re drifting apart from everyone heading off to college. The rest of them seem to want to hang onto the relationship we have but I just can’t take being around them anymore. It feels like a sunk cost fallacy, in a way.
I’ve already talked to two of my best friends from my high school friend group about it. One friend says I should avoid the topic of my birthday as much as possible if they bring it up.
I haven’t had any discussion with the elementary friend group about my birthday yet. WIBTA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel like if I don’t invite them and word gets out that I went to dinner with only one group, then I might be labeled as someone who deliberately excludes people
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YWNBTA – It’s your birthday, you get to decide who you want to celebrate it with. You could always go for ice cream (or something) separately with the other group on another day.