I (F27) live in a shared house, and everything was fine at first. But things changed last week. On Friday night, from midnight until almost 3 a.m., my housemates were showering, blow-drying their hair, using an electric razor, slamming doors, just making a lot of noise with no consideration.
This week, they’ve been working night shifts and getting home around 8 a.m. But instead of being quiet when they get in, it’s the same thing all over again: loud talking, banging doors, and taking forever in the bathroom. It’s been hard to get any rest.
We all agreed to clean the house today in the evening, at their request, because they needed to rest after their shift. That’s fine in theory. But when they got home this morning, they were loud as usual and didn’t care that my boyfriend and I were trying to sleep.
Now I’m debating whether I should just clean my part earlier in the day, even if it disturbs their rest a bit. I’ve always tried to be considerate, but they don’t show the same respect. So, WIBTA if I stopped tiptoeing around and just got on with my day?
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I (F27) live in a shared house, and everything was fine at first. But things changed last week. On Friday night, from midnight until almost 3 a.m., my housemates were showering, blow-drying their hair, using an electric razor, slamming doors, just making a lot of noise with no consideration.
This week, they’ve been working night shifts and getting home around 8 a.m. But instead of being quiet when they get in, it’s the same thing all over again: loud talking, banging doors, and taking forever in the bathroom. It’s been hard to get any rest.
We all agreed to clean the house today in the evening, at their request, because they needed to rest after their shift. That’s fine in theory. But when they got home this morning, they were loud as usual and didn’t care that my boyfriend and I were trying to sleep.
Now I’m debating whether I should just clean my part earlier in the day, even if it disturbs their rest a bit. I’ve always tried to be considerate, but they don’t show the same respect. So, WIBTA if I stopped tiptoeing around and just got on with my day?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I’d be making noise while my housemates are trying to rest, even though we agreed to clean later in the evening. I’d be going against that agreement and disturbing their sleep, which could be seen as inconsiderate even if they haven’t respected my rest in the past.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Yta, try communicating
NTA. But have you spoken to them about it? If you have, then have at it. If they don’t respect your sleep, dont respect theirs.
If you haven’t, I would now, because they may not realize how loud they’re being.
I’m a fan of giving the energy I receive. If they’re not tiptoeing around you why would you tiptoe around them? You maybe should have a chat with them about it first but, as the saying goes, actions tend to speak a lot louder than words.
I’ll go YWNBTA here. Talking first would be the mature thing but tit for tat can work too.
Talk to your roommate before you decide to do anything rash. Communication will prevent what could end up being a very toxic environment where you both are competing on who can be the bigger A to the other.
You would be TA if you didn’t try. Your roommate can’t read minds and some people aren’t always aware of how loud they can be.
There’s not really any reason for you to tiptoe around and rearrange your day if they seem to be making 0 effort to respect you and do the same exact things they’re asking you to do. 🤷♀️ NTA.
Sure we can talk about being the bigger person and all, which I’m usually a fan of, but when they’re that completely inconsiderate, nah. I agree with the other commenter that I’d also try communicating, but at the same time, it sounds like you’ve tried that so who knows if it’ll work. Still though, I’d directly communicate about the issue one more time and then if they don’t stop, show them the same amount of courtesy they’re showing you.
NTA they don’t get to enforce their schedule on you if they don’t respect yours
YWNBTA. Get on with your day. They get it. And if they don’t, point their hypocrisy out.
INFO: have you actually told them they’re being too loud and asked them to keep it down?
So when you asked your housemate if they could be quieter what did they say?
Talk to them… And if that doesn’t work, be a petty mofo.
Do unto them what they do unto you… Threefold
Here’s an idea for your 27 year old self – Grow. The. Fuck. Up and actually talk to them instead of whining online. Jfc.
I’m missing the part where you had a discussion with them about the noise levels?