I (24M) live with my girlfriend Lena (23F). She’s doing her master’s right now, which means she has classes most mornings/early afternoons (usually 8–1 or 2), and then she works from home most evenings (like 5–9). I also work from home full-time, so I see her routine every day.
The thing is, her eyes are constantly suffering. She wears contacts to class, and by the time she comes home, they’ve made her eyes super red and irritated. Then when she switches to her glasses, they calm down, but the second she has a video call in the evening, she takes the glasses off because she feels self-conscious in them. Within half an hour, her eyes are itchy and irritated again and sometimes she ends up with migraines from looking at a screen w/o glasses. She also gets allergies a lot, so she wakes up with watery eyes.
She insists on it because she doesn’t like how she looks in glasses. She refuses to leave the house with her glasses on. For the record, she’s gorgeous, glasses or not. She’s the prettiest girl. I don’t think she realizes how bad it is, like she thinks itchy eyes are normal. I’m honestly worried she’ll scratch a cornea. She has eye drops that help, but normally I have to really bully her into using them bc they leave a bad taste in her mouth.
On Friday, her eyes were already itchy, but she didn’t have any evening calls, so they settled down. That night we had dinner plans, and while she was rushing to get ready, her eyes were itchy from the eye liner she uses and I knew the second she put her contacts in, it would get worse. So I hid them.
She grabbed her glasses before we left, but didn’t put them on while we were out, apart from to read the menu. I know it was sneaky, but I swear it was in her best interest. Her eyes need a break, and I feel like if I don’t intervene, she’ll just keep hurting herself.
WIBTA if I did this again? Like not every week, but like on the occasion, when her eyes are really bad? I’m not really sure what else I can do to help her.
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
I (24M) live with my girlfriend Lena (23F). She’s doing her master’s right now, which means she has classes most mornings/early afternoons (usually 8–1 or 2), and then she works from home most evenings (like 5–9). I also work from home full-time, so I see her routine every day.
The thing is, her eyes are constantly suffering. She wears contacts to class, and by the time she comes home, they’ve made her eyes super red and irritated. Then when she switches to her glasses, they calm down, but the second she has a video call in the evening, she takes the glasses off because she feels self-conscious in them. Within half an hour, her eyes are itchy and irritated again and sometimes she ends up with migraines from looking at a screen w/o glasses. She also gets allergies a lot, so she wakes up with watery eyes.
She insists on it because she doesn’t like how she looks in glasses. She refuses to leave the house with her glasses on. For the record, she’s gorgeous, glasses or not. She’s the loveliest girl and I don’t think she realizes how bad it gets. I’m honestly worried she’ll scratch a cornea. She has eye drops that help, but normally I have to really bully her into using them bc they leave a bad taste in her mouth.
On Friday, her eyes were already itchy, but she didn’t have any evening calls, so they settled down. That night we had dinner plans, and while she was rushing to get ready, her eyes were watering like crazy when she did her eyeliner. I knew the second she put her contacts in, it would get worse. So I hid them.
She grabbed her glasses before we left, but didn’t put them on while we were out, apart from to read the menu. I know it was sneaky, but I swear it was in her best interest. Her eyes need a break, and I feel like if I don’t intervene, she’ll just keep hurting herself.
WIBTA if I did this again? Like not every week, but like on the occasion, when her eyes are really bad?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m being dishonest iwth her and manipulating her a bit, even if its for her health
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Yes YWBTA, regardless of your motives and wanting to help her, hiding something so vital would be effectively gaslighting and would spike her already huge stress and mental load.
Yes, YWBTA if you hid her contacts. It’s up to her whether or not to wear them and not your place to take that choice away from her because you think you know better and have “good intentions”. Just be a normal good person and encourage her to go to the eye doctor to see why her eyes are reacting like that or switch to a different contact style/brand
YTA. She’s an adult. You’re being controlling and claiming it’s in her best interest. You can express concern but to hiding them is absolutely not okay.
YTA not your place at all you absolute control freak
YWBTA, it’s not your place to make decisions for her like this. You can have your opinion (which I personally agree with) but you have to support her with whatever decision she makes, not sabotage her and take her decision away.
YTA. This is controlling and massively overstepping. How to correct her vision is HER medical decision to make. Not yours.
YTA
She’s a grown ass adult. Stop treating her like a child.
Yes, YTA.
She’s an adult and if her eyes are at the risk of getting irritated or infected your role as a partner AT the MOST is to offer solutions such as changing the brand / visiting the optician/ going to a specialist to check what’s happening. If she insists on being adamant despite this, there is nothing more you can do.
Hiding this is weird, childish and definitely will backfire on you.
YTA.
It’s her body, she gets to choose what she does with it. No matter how silly or ill advised you think it is.
YTA. If you’re that concerned, get her some different eye drops that don’t leave a bad taste. There are lots of options. Or help her make an appointment with an eye doctor. But being sneaky like this because you think you know better than she does what she needs is not okay.
Encourage her to call her optometrist & let them know what is going on, as she obviously reacting to the contacts.
INFO: what kind of lenses does she have (daily, monthly, rigid gas permeable)? When was the last time she went to the optometrist or ophthalmologist?
YWBTA. Imagine she hid food from you in “concern” for your health. HER body, HER decision.
YTA
She’s making the choice to suffer with contacts and it is 100% her choice. She’s insecure about how she looks in glasses and forcing her to wear them isn’t going to help that.
Dont mess with people’s medical aides.
wtaf. yes, obviously yta. This is a shit way to treat a kid, much less a grown ass adult you are supposed to respect.
YWBTA. Encourage her to go to the eye doctor. buy the single use no preservatives artificial tears for her. see if her saline solution is expired. if she uses disposable contacts, check they haven’t been open too long.
I had to stop wearing contacts as my eyes couldn’t tolerate gas permeable ones anymore in addition to some other issues. contacts should not be itchy. she could need new contacts, different saline, or it could be her seasonal allergies acting up. none of that gives you permission to hide her visual aides. doesn’t matter if she also has glasses.
YTA. Your supposedly benevolent motives don’t justify this controlling and manipulating behavior. You know better than her? You can live her life better than she can? You’ll make decisions for her if she won’t go along w your choices for her? You’ll hide her belongings to get your way and prove you’re right? Yikes. Yikes.
Yikes.
YTA
You’re willing to lie to your partner about this instead of having a conversation with her about your concerns, what else are you willing to lie to her about?
Once you start justifying betrayals, you’ll keep finding justifications for controlling and manipulating her into doing and being what your want.
Hell YES!
Even with what you feel is good intent, this will erode her trust in you, add a different kind of stress to her life, and is just a really poorly thought out plan.
The smarter answer is to help and support her visiting her eye doctor for a consultation.
Maybe she needs a different kind of contacts, or a better glasses to switch to, or a better wearing and cleaning regimen- you know, long term, honest, sustainable solutions.
YTA. And you were the first time you hid them, too.
YWBTA, but hiding her property doesn’t help get to the route of the problem. She’s so insecure of how she looks in glasses she’ll tolerate red, itchy eyes and migraines to avoid wearing them in public? That’s some Jan Brady-level self consciousness.
YTA. Don’t do that. She’s an adult. You don’t get to decide for her even if you think it’s “best”.
Does she use just the one set of contacts? If so she should try switching to daily wear so she gets new ones every day. The extra garbage is not great but I promise you her eyes will be much more comfy.
YTA.
I don’t care how noble you think your intentions are. She is not a child and you are not her parent.
You can continue to tell her how gorgeous she looks in glasses. You can encourage her to see her optometrist again and find out why she reacts so badly to contacts. (I wore contacts for 25+ years with zero problems, so it’s possible her discomfort can be solved with a different prescription or different eye drops.)
But you do not get to make decisions about what she puts on or in her body, and you do NOT get to hide her contacts and gaslight her into thinking she’s lost them.
She has eye drops that help, but normally I have to really bully her into using them
Stop fucking bullying her.
try helping her find glasses that she actually likes instead maybe? lots of cute options online, frameless ones might be a good idea since they aren’t as noticeable on your face (but yes yta)
YTA how even is this a question why would you ever think its okay to hide your girlfriends disability aid because you dont think she knows what her body can deal with, get over yourself and stop trying to hide your control under a blanket of “best interest”
YWBTA.
You can express your concern. But at the end of the day, shes an adult who can make her own decisions on her health.
unrelated but she should see a dry eye specialist. that sounds like how my eyes used to be. it developed into something worse and nastier and now not only can I not tolerate contacts at all, I also can’t tolerate makeup and feel insecure every single day. it CAN get worse. she needs to address her situation now, while she still can
ESH
Contacts need two cleaning solutions. One disinfects, the other moisturizes. She’s using too much of the former.
NTA, But only because I know how bad it can get.
This happened to my husband every day. Turns out he was allergic to them (Or the contact solution itself) On two different occasions, his eyes got so bad that he burned the outer layer that protects his eyeball off. He couldn’t open his eyes for 2 weeks And had to medicate his eyes everyday with pain, relieving eye drops. Your eyes should not be this irritated with Contacts.
I personally feel this is the same as making someone wear a seatbelt in your car, or preventing them from driving home drunk by taking their keys. You’re trying to prevent them from self-harm.
Unfortunately though “Live and learn”. So she will only stop when it becomes so bad that she’s in the same situation my husband was in. Maybe offer to pay for her Lasik instead.
No not at all.
Not asshole
She needs to see without anything. Why not see naturally.
Look into eye exsersises. They are a must in our country for them blind kids if they find anyone in the sixth grade
YTA. Those are her visual aids. She gets decide when and where to use them. Not you. Do you also hide other peoples wheelchairs/walkers?
I have to go with justified AH in this one instance. You sound actually concerned for her well-being. But you can’t keep hiding them, then you’d just be an AH. You need to have a serious talk with her about your concerns.
It sounds like she’s allergic to the contact lenses and really needs to STOP using them! Continuing to use contacts when you’re allergic to them can cause greater eye issues. Convince her to see an optometrist and tell them what’s happening. If she’s in monthlies or another type of contacts she might be able to swap to dailies to help. And you can try finding her some cute pairs of glasses that she can feel okay wearing out.
YTA, and YWBTA. As someone who hated wearing glasses for years due to low self-esteem and feeling embarrassed, YTA. You shouldn’t be making her life harder and more stressful. This is a childish way of dealing with the situation instead of trying to help her.
YTA you don’t get to
YWBTA for the reasons the others have mentioned. But also, I developed issues like your girlfriend after years of wearing contacts. I also found glasses inconvenient, uncomfortable and ugly. Getting laser eye surgery was one of the best decisions I ever made, because it took care of both these issues at once. SMILE lasik is the one I did, which is supposed to be relatively safe for someone with dry eyes. Maybe suggest she look into it? No surgery is without risks, but the chances of something going wrong with this one is fairly low.
YTA. You hid your partners medical device and boy howdy that’s just shitty.
I’m not gonna go into how she’s self conscious in glasses or even how her eyes get fatigued as the day goes on because that’s not the point.
You took your girlfriend’s medical device that she paid for (be it out of her pocket/through her or her parents insurance) and kept her from accessing it when she wanted to.
Edit: actually thinking about it because it was bothering me, even if you kindly covered the contacts it doesn’t give you a right to take em away.
YWBTA
This is not your decision to make.
However there are different types of contac lenses and wheb I used to start them I needed to try around a little to find the ones I like most.
My eyes used to get irritated with some and not with some others.
Now I have a Kind of soft lenses that I can even leave in over night and I don’t even notice them.
So no to hiding them. But yes to taking her to the local optician to talk about a different kind of lenses.
YTA
YWBTA Don’t hide other people’s stuff, encourage her to see a doctor and YTA for hiding it the first time.
YWBTA for hiding the contacts because her property, her choices. It’s a big enough insecurity that she chooses pain over glasses and forcing exposure therapy will likely make the problem worse.
If you want to be proactive you may have to nag her to see an optometrist because I’m pretty sure she shouldn’t have that reaction to the contacts. Probably an allergy. Get that sorted and no more problems.
Bonus points if you want her to overcome her insecurity maybe give plenty of compliments when she’s wearing her glasses, say she looks like a sexy genius or something
YTA. It’s not your decision to make regarding her body and her property. It’s her own problem, if she wants to fix it, she will, but at the moment it’s clearly not a dealbreaker for her to stop wearing contacts. You have no right to decide for her.
YTA don’t mess with other peoples stuff or eyes she should see a doctor if anybody’s concerned
How often does she switch out her contacts with a fresh clean pair? Does she have monthly contacts? Does she rinse off her eye makeup properly (may need some oil to loosen mascara/eyeliner)? These are all important to do if she doesn’t already
I mean, she’s an adult so YTA but good god, who’s dumb enough to risk their VISION for contact lenses?? On the upside, if she can’t see, she won’t need glasses anymore.
Yta. This seems sweet on the surface, and I truly think that you think you’re being a good partner. However, what you’re actually doing is infantalizing your girlfriend. I’m not saying that to be mean. It’s an urge I have to fight every day, myself.
You don’t like the choice she’s making, so you take the choice away – like with a child.
Rather than assuming that you’re making a better choice than her, why don’t you ask her why she’s making that choice and really listen to her answer.
Everything else is said with well wishes. But don’t hide your girlfriends stuff. Regardless of your opinion, it’s not your right to do this. It is a lie by omission, and many people would end relationships over it regardless of the intent.
YTA. Your GF is an adult and can make her own choices. . . . but could you encourage her to get another pair or pair(s) of glasses? Go with her to pick something out. If she could accept that she still looks great, she might like the ease of wearing glasses to give her eyes a break from the contacts.
YTA
Your GF is a grown adult who can make her own decisions.
YWBTA Don’t hide her contacts. Do more positive actions like buy her eye make-up for sensitive eyes, no-tears formula etc. Bring her eye drops or make salt water eye rinse that doesn’t taste as bad.
YTA
You’re not helping her, you’re helping yourself. You’re clearly more uncomfortable with her eyes being itchy and her migraines than she is. I get where you’re coming from, but you’re dismissing her insecurity. You think she’s the prettiest girl and she doesn’t. You’re forcing her to show herself in a way she doesn’t like, because you like to look at her. It’s great that you think she’s the prettiest, it would be more helpful to have a conversation about her insecurity or to give her compliments when she’s wearing glasses, not to simply force her to deal with wearing them, so you don’t have to deal with her itchy eyes.
Btw I got some daily, expensive, light contacts for a similar reason. But also because I find glasses annoying. But it did help for my partner to compliment me with my glasses too, I did start wearing them more.
Info: Have you actually talked about this with her?
I’m in the same situation as your gf. I also used contacts that were really irritating, but I also hate my glasses and think they’re annoying and ugly. I was also badly bullied because of them. But your gf is an adult and needs to make her own decisions. Threatening her like a kid and hiding stuff from her is mean and childish YWBTA/YTA
Yta. Please do not do this. It is bad for her eyes to keep doing this yes but you need to have a sit down with her and explain everything you’re concerned about and suggest making a plan/steps on to getting her feeling confident in her glasses. Have her get new glasses it could be the type of glasses too.
I absolutely hate wearing glasses, but my husband loves me wearing my glasses. But guess what? He lets me decide what I wear regardless of his preference, even if I am experiencing discomfort from them (allergy sufferer here). I cannot see as good with glasses on so will suffer some days if I have to go out or especially if I am driving.
YTA for hiding them from her. But, she should see her eye doctor as there are so many brands and types of contacts. Maybe even a different cleanser. It’s ridiculous to be in constant pain/irritation.
Ywbta you realize she would probably just leave the house without her glasses if she can’t find her contacts, right? That’s a safety issue and also strains the eyes
NTA – Controversial, but sometimes people need saving from themselves. This isn’t a huge deal, it’s not like you’re hiding medication, she’s harming herself and you’re stopping her by guiding her towards the solution she should choose herself
Maybe try to work with her on making her feel less self conscious though
Your reasoning is good, but a soft YTA anyway because its removing her agency in the situation. You need to really talk to her, insist that she pay attention to the issue and find a solution. Go to an optometrist and find something that wont kill her eyes. She is an adult, and as much as it hurts to see someone hurting themselves it is her decision to make.
YTA. Look dude. I think you mean well. But this is not the way. You’re devolving into toxic, controlling behaviors by stealing her medical device and hiding it like you’re 10. You’re absolutely right though. Properly fitted contacts, that are regularly cleaned and maintained should not be causing the issues you’re describing. Either she’s not taking care of them, or she might be having a reaction to the solution she stores them in. So, instead hiding them like a child, have an honest, mature conversation with her that you’re genuinely concerned about her health. Just try to encourage her to see her eye Dr. They would know what to do. She needs to see a Dr before before it becomes more serious just irritated eyes.
YWBTA.
Think this through for more than a minute:
First you steal her medical equipment (again). Then you hide it. Then (inevitably) at some point she asks you if you’ve seen her contacts. So then you lie. She asks you to help her look. You begin a method acting performance of “looking for her contacts.” At some point you’re literally just gaslighting her. Like?? How is that an acceptable alternative to allowing a competent adult to exercise her medical autonomy?
You don’t have the right to make this choice for her, even if the choice she’s making is objectively wrong.
YTA.
You do not hide someone’s medical device. Period. Ever.
Yeah, man, YWBTA. Be an adult and sit her down to talk about changing her contacts, getting a pair of glasses she actually likes on her, or both.
YTA – not only is communication missing in all of this but also she should seek professional help/treatment, not your “disgnose”.
YTA. It is not up to you to make decisions for people. You could offer to go glasses shopping and see if there’s any other styles that might suit her better, give her affirmations that she looks beautiful in her glasses, but taking away someone’s autonomy when you think they aren’t using it right is not okay.
YTA,
Have an honest discussion about how her constant eye irritation concerns you. And encourage her to see her optometrist to discuss this. Theu should be able to either change her contacts to a different brand, prescribe a better antihistamine eye drop, both or something else entirely.
This constant irritation could cause long term damage to her eye sight.
But its not your place to hide her contact lenses. Its an aid for her disability- you wouldnt hide someone walking stick cause you think they should use q zimmer frame. Or someone’s hearing aide.
As someone who wore glasses my entire life up until last year, YTA. Don’t do that sh*t? Just plain wrong
YWBTA maybe get a gift of eyedrops instead?
YTA. She’s an adult. Sit down and talk to her about how concerned you are for her, and ask her to make an appt with her eye doc, because no, what’s happening with her eyes is not normal, but you can’t hide her contacts.
That’s controlling af. You can’t take her autonomy away from her.
Yeah, nothing wrong with turning your GF crazy by moving things around on her, go the extra mile and if she asks have you seen her contacts, really gaslight the hell out of her and tell her no, maybe she misplaced them. YTA, also, most probably not an optician.
Yta not your body, not your call. Find a way to have a discussion with her about your concerns. Maybe she needs a different brand or a new prescription. Trying to control her cause you think you kno better is not the answer
Yta
YTA you’re not her dad
YTA. I understand your intentions are good but don’t think it’s going to help her. I don’t wear glasses so I can’t speak from personal experience so take what I say with a grain of salt. Could be they’re the wrong prescription or maybe she needs some eye drops? I dunno, but I def recommend maybe you suggest she goes to an optometrist to figure out why her eyes are getting so irritated?
Yes.. You are. I had this problem of my eyes suffering, and my ears as well, from looking down so much at my job. My bf, now husband paid for me to have LASIK. It was scary, but he found me the best doctor in the area and that helped me to feel better about it. It turns out there was even a Groupon for the surgery. Be helpful not hurtful
Have you tried taking her to get new glasses? Some that she might actually like wearing. Or maybe there are different brands of contacts? Maybe she could try speaking to an optometrist about getting new ones that don’t irritate her as much?
YTA for doing this but I understand your intentions are pure. But it’s her decision what she wears, and hiding things from her isn’t a good solution.
Work with her not around her. And if you really can’t find a solution to her irritation problems, then that’s her issue to deal with. You can’t make decisions for people, especially grown adults.
“I swear it was in her best interest.” That’s not for you to say. Your actions were controlling. YTA
YTA it’s up to her to realise what she has to do, but it sounds like she is allergic to someting.
Also with her make up, she could try something anti allergic.
You can advise her and tell her you worry, but you can’t deside for her.
YTA, I think you wanna try to be good and help her, but this is defo not the way. TALK with her, show her you’re concerned about her (eye)health. Try to make her confident about herself in glasses and encourage her to see a doctor.
YTA.
She is an adult and is responsible for her own health and safety. You can, and should, express your concerns, but she isn’t a child or intellectually disabled or requiring a caretaker, which means that you have no right to do what you did.
You’re really on the wrong subreddit here- I see where you’re coming from, but it’s still not quite right to hide your GF’s contacts, because she has the freedom to wear them. Ppl here will call you out for ‘manipulative’ or ‘controlling’ or ‘self-serving’ behavior, but you aren’t trying to control her, just help her. If I were to say, NTA, because your GF is just concerned about her appearance and you about her.
That being said, please don’t hide her contacts. It’s mean. Ultimately, what you do is up to you. I assume you’ve tried this already, but try and talk to her and explain how you’re worried for her. If she doesn’t like how she looks in her current pair of glasses, maybe take her to get a new, better pair? Or purchase different contacts? Definitely talk to an optometrist, though.
YTA. Hiding her contacts is controlling and treating her like a child. Talk to her, offer her solutions. If she continues to be stubborn, that’s her prerogative.
YTA for hiding the contacts, but your gf really should talk to her eye dr to see if they can suggest better contact options.
Wearing monthly swap out contacts with a lot of environmental allergies for 20 years has caused scar tissue at the edge of my corneas. I can see fine, but it has caused a white line at the edge of my irises.
I had to switch to daily wear & toss contacts, use allergy eye drops 15 minutes prior to putting them in, keep regular rewetting drops on hand, and just give in to my glasses when my eyes get too irritated, but the routine has helped reduce a lot of the irritation and the scar tissue hasn’t expanded.
I also suggest rinsing even daily wear contacts with saline solution just in case the solution they are packed in is part of the issue. There are different brands/formulations of eye drops, so hopefully she can find one that she doesn’t taste. Popping out the contacts, rinsing them with solution, and popping them back in in the afternoon might help, too.
Ultimately, though, it’s her choice to wear the contacts however and whenever she wants.
YWBTA – Sometimes, the best intentions have the worst outcomes.
I don’t agree with people replying with the likes of “the woman he owns” – thats pretty damn out there and far removed from your tonality and conveyed intentions.
Your intentions are pure, but as the more level headed have said, misguided. She’s an adult capable of making her own decisions, especially surrounding her body, perceived risks, etc…
The correct approach would be supporting in finding alternatives, or advising her to speak to medical professionals. Removing choice is never OK, regardless of how good our intentions are.
Again, I think some of these replies are excessively harsh – you don’t come across as possessive, controlling, etc… More so a concerned partner, who has the best intentions, just a poor delivery.
She should go to the eye doctor and tell them what’s going on. She might need specific lenses (think there’s more kinds maybe?) They have these cute heart, star or just different kinds of glasses now. You could even suggest buying her some that she would feel good in. Lensalter.com is one website ya’ll could look through together they have sooooo many cute options! You shouldn’t hide her lenses again as that could cause a conflict if she finds out what you did. I know you dont want her to suffer but she feels the need for them and thats what would make her feel good. Definitely encourage her to go to the eye doctor
What is wrong w you?
Have a child if you wanna infantilise someone this bad.
YTA, but what eyedrops cause a bad aftertaste? Here’s some less shitty things you can do:
Would you hide her crutches because they hurt her and you think she looks better in a wheelchair?
YTA. It is not okay to take her medical devices from her because you feel like you know better. Would you also think it’s okay to steal pills and replace them with a cheaper brand?
It’s not your decision. It’s hers.
YTA.
Optical professional here. She needs to see her optometrist because 100% something is wrong there. Nothing wrong with encouraging her to do that. But taking and hiding them is out of line
There’s no way you are seriously asking if it’s ok to hide her contacts like you have any right to make that decision for her 😂.
YTA, you don’t mention you’ve discussed your concerns with her. You need to have a conversation!
YTA. I totally get the thought behind this, I know you’re just thinking of her physical comfort. But you’re not taking into account her mental comfort, sometimes the physical discomfort is more manageable than the mental. If you really have concerns about her eyes maybe sit down and have a conversation with her?
YTA – everyone is entitled to make their own bad decisions, so let her. Obviously voice your concerns but ultimately it’s up to her and hiding them is just short of theft.
YTA because this behavior is a childish and inappropriate way to deal with a very real problem. Your GF is making very poor decisions – she needs to see an ophthalmologist – but the appropriate and respectful way to address this is to talk to her about it and potentially give her information since she seems ignorant of the severity of the issue. But you shouldn’t try to force her to do anything, trick her, deceive her, etc. Not okay and good intentions does not somehow make it okay.