I’m currently in college dorms only a couple weeks into the semester and I share my dorm room with one other person. We’ve been getting a long great so far and haven’t clashed at all but last week she abruptly stopped staying in our room and I’ve barely seen her the last few days so I knew something was up.
A couple days ago she asked to talk and said she had a dream that’s made her uncomfortable to be in the room with me so she put herself on the wait-list for a single room but now she’s asking me to take that room and to let her stay in the room we’ve been in. I told her yes but we’re still waiting on confirmation that a room will even be available and I’m now starting to feel off about having to switch rooms.
She also brought up her religion in the same conversation which is just rubbing me the wrong way since I’m starting to think she is making the whole dream thing up and just didn’t like that I’m not religious. I dabble in tarot so have a tarot deck on my desk and I listen to metal music so I’m slowly starting to think that she may just be assuming I’m some crazy antichrist or something since it just seems to odd that she’s saying she had a dream that effected her so deeply and that she’d also randomly feel the need to bring up her religion.
Now I just feel like it’s not her place tell me to move to a different room if she’s the one who’s uncomfortable. It’s not even actually moving rooms that’s bothering me it’s just the principle of it that it almost feels as if she’s making it a punishment for me like I need to leave the room for making her uncomfortable or something. I’ve done nothing intentionally to her to make her uncomfortable and if I did something on accident I’d expect her to bring it up and mention it made her uncomfortable so I’d know not to do that.
I know I am still worked up right now and not thinking the most rationally which is why I’m making a post asking for others opinions and waiting to talk to her about it until I feel like I’ve calmed down.
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I’m currently in college dorms only a couple weeks into the semester and I share my dorm room with one other person. We’ve been getting a long great so far and haven’t clashed at all but last week she abruptly stopped staying in our room and I’ve barely seen her the last few days so I knew something was up.
A couple days ago she asked to talk and said she had a dream that’s made her uncomfortable to be in the room with me so she put herself on the wait-list for a single room but now she’s asking me to take that room and to let her stay in the room we’ve been in. I told her yes but we’re still waiting on confirmation that a room will even be available and I’m now starting to feel off about having to switch rooms.
She also brought up her religion in the same conversation which is just rubbing me the wrong way since I’m starting to think she is making the whole dream thing up and just didn’t like that I’m not religious. I dabble in tarot so have a tarot deck on my desk and I listen to metal music so I’m slowly starting to think that she may just be assuming I’m some crazy antichrist or something since it just seems to odd that she’s saying she had a dream that effected her so deeply and that she’d also randomly feel the need to bring up her religion.
Now I just feel like it’s not her place tell me to move to a different room if she’s the one who’s uncomfortable. It’s not even actually moving rooms that’s bothering me it’s just the principle of it that it almost feels as if she’s making it a punishment for me like I need to leave the room for making her uncomfortable or something. I’ve done nothing intentionally to her to make her uncomfortable and if I did something on accident I’d expect her to bring it up and mention it made her uncomfortable so I’d know not to do that.
I know I am still worked up right now and not thinking the most rationally which is why I’m making a post asking for others opinions and waiting to talk to her about it until I feel like I’ve calmed down.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I already agreed to switch rooms when I was first asked and my reasoning for not wanting to is pretty selfish since I just don’t want to deal with the hassle of moving my stuff and I also don’t want to give into her in a way
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. You don’t have to move out over a dream she had. If her own dream made her that uncomfortable or even if she’s making it up because she doesn’t like things you do, she can move out. This is her problem, not yours.
NTA
It was a DREAM she had. Not real life. Your roomate needs to get over it. You aren’t in the wrong. I even insist that YOU stay in the room cause she is the one with the made up issue😒
You’re right, if she’s uncomfortable, she should be the one that has to move.
It’s crazy that she’s judging you for not being religious while simultaneously using a dream she had (did God send her a warning about you?) to be a reason she’s uncomfortable with you.
NTA
Not on you to move because she had a dream.. it’s on her to move if she feels uncomfortable through no fault of yours. I am also suspicious that this dream might be a fabrication to get you out of the room.
If one of you moves out, will the other be left alone with a spacious double room? Perhaps that’s what she’s after.
NTA. Don’t let her force you out, unless the single room is the better option.
NTA. You absolutely should not be entertaining the idea of being the one to move out. Whether this is due to a dream or her not liking your religious beliefs or lack there of, or some other thing they are her problems. If anyone is going to be moving out it should be her. I’d get ahead of this and talk to an RA or your equivalent. You might want to make sure you have anything really important in a lock box.
NTA. If you don’t want to move, don’t. You aren’t the one that has the issue. Are you sure you want to pass up a single room, though? Yes, it would be a hassle to move, but think of the peace and quiet.
YWNBTA. Tell her you’ve reconsidered and since she’s the one who has manufactured an issue with her dream, she is the one who should go. She has some nerve to want you to go to a single room while she’d get the extra space of remaining in a double…when she is literally the source of the problem in the first place. Ignore her and live your life and enjoy your school year.
Tell her she is free to move, but you will not, because school has started, and you don’t need the disruptions, be nice but let her know she is the one who is uncomfortable, so she needs to leave. Talk to your RA.
NTA – it’s on her to move out.
NTA but why wouldn’t you take a single room instead of rolling the dice on another roommate if in fact it is offered to you? Is the double room with the roommate wild card factor somehow a better option?
Omg. No. Tell her to move out. This is her nonsense made up problem. NTA
NTA. Your roommate is uncomfortable so she can move.
I think you’re overthinking it. For whatever reason, she wants a single room. You can choose to move to the room or stay where you are and she can move. She has now given that decision to you. Everything else is just details.
If you’re prefer the other room, then take it. If you prefer to stay where you are, then tell roomie you’d rather not move and let her move if she wishes. Whatever her issue is, let her deal with it on her own. Don’t get caught up in the drama.
NTA.
NTA. It’s on her to leave if she’s uncomfortable. However I would highly consider the single dorm. Having no roommate is pretty peaceful for studying.
NTA but I would probably move into a single room because the next one maybe worse than this one. I wouldn’t let it bother you though she is the one with issues not you.
NTA, college is a great place for her to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around her. You didn’t do anything wrong.
First, NTA. She has caused the issue here, nothing that you actually did….so ask her to move. I also look at it this way…she may be trying to stay because she thinks she’ll get a double room, which is likely cheaper, to herself. Moving into a single room may incur additional costs. Tell her to pack up and leave.
NTA. If she’s uncomfortable she should move.
Is the single room going to be more expensive? If so, she is the one who should take it, not you
don’t move, but be considerate, in a year, she will be married to one of her cousins for the rest of her life, to be be cheated on and be beaten regularly, just as the kids, by that honest religious man
It’s weird she wants you to move rooms when she could then get placed with another roommate who she might like even less? Is she going to ask them to leave to? If she’s so sensitive and judgmental, it makes more sense for her to have her own space where she doesn’t have to be accepting of other lifestyles idk
NTA. Aside from the fact thar she’s the one with the issue, so she should be the one to move, there’s the financial issue as well. Most colleges charge quite a bit more for a single room – often several thousand more. Are you wanting to pay that, or in a financial position to pay that, because someone you met 2 weeks ago decided they aren’t comfortable? (And, for what it’s worth, I’m saying this as a Christian whose Christian husband – and several others I know, including at least one Pastor – all like metal. Your beliefs are just that – your own, and you are just as entitled to them as she is hers. What she isn’t entitled to do is force you to relocate and or pay more because she isn’t comfortable with others having different beliefs. If it was that big an issue, she should have selected a Christian College. Lord knows there’s plenty to choose from…)
NTA roommate can move out.
She wants a double to herself while you get the single and she tells friends you are weird or unsafe etc ( whatever narrative she supplies)
NTA. You’re not responsible for her dreams. If she wants to act on them, that’s on her.
I’m guessing the single room has a higher cost, that’s why she wants you to move there. You can, if you want to and can afford it.
NTA
Your roommate is freaking out because she thinks your a big satan-ey satanist, with your tarot and your metal music.
She had a dream and now she’s got some bullshit spiritual warfare fantasy playing on repeat in her head or she thinks you’re going to full on, idk, Rosemary’s-baby her ass or something.
It is in no way on you to conform to her delusions. Talk to your RA and ask for help.
I would move into the single room and hope with all my being that her next roommate has her wishing she didn’t suggest you move out
NTA, but just take the single room! Peace, quiet, alone time, privacy!
Tell her that her obviously tenuous grasp on reality and inability to differentiate dreams from reality is not really a you problem. She can move rooms.
“I have no issues if you want to switch rooms.. but a single is more expensive and unless you are going to pay the difference I don’t have the money for that.”
I would talk to your RA and say that you didn’t do anything… she just dreamed something and you have no issues if she wants to move out but you have no interest.
I think to not move would be cutting your nose off to spite your face. I’ve never understood the American uni thing of forcing two strangers to share a room anyway – you’re not little kids on a school trip.
Grab the single room with both hands. That way you can’t be lumbered with another weirdo room mate and can read your cards & play your music to your heart’s content.
Go see your counselor immediately. Tell the counselor that you have the ick because she made you feel like you should move over her dream. Put it in record. Go see the counselor and don’t take no for an answer. What if she decides her dream say to hurt you?
NTA: Fuck that, that’s a her problem, let her move.
Her dream, her reaction, her problem. She can move if you don’t want to.
NTA. Her dream obviously doesn’t define you as a person so I have no idea why you’d move.
OP you need to speak to your RA ASAP and explain everything to them.
She sucks for sure. it’s her problem.
Don’t accept some alternate plan she’s going to start suggesting like swapping roommates or doing anything unofficial.
This is her problem to solve and you’ve done nothing wrong. Stay calm when discussing this with her, but remind her she’s the one who’s unhappy and she needs to move, not you.
As far as the single room. You wouldn’t have to share a room with someone any more so that may be an attractive solution. Maybe stay open to that solution, but don’t take any deal that makes your life worse.
You did nothing wrong.
If you take the single would you have to pay more for the privilege? Sounds like she wants the space of a double without the inconvenience of sharing it and threw together some nonsense to try to achieve it.
NTA, in fact very kind that you agreed in the first place – dreams aren’t real, and speaking as someone with a mental illness that occasionally includes psychosis that was encouraged by my religious community, if she can’t shake them then maybe she needs to talk to a professional. It’s not on you to make that happen, I don’t know how the school is structured or how you’d even start that conversation. Is there like a counsellor or someone you could raise the issue with, and then afterwards mutual friends who aren’t religious? Defs get expert advice if you want to step in, or just decide if you want to stay or go, tell her your decision, and move on with your life.
NTA. You can also tell her that in dreams, all of the people are actually different representations of oneself, or representations of different feelings one is having. It can be conflicting “forbidden” feelings that get repressed but emerge in ones dreams. Perhaps she is having feelings of doubt about her religion, perhaps you have reminded her of her doubts and conflicting feelings she has and in her dreams you are the representation of those feelings she is having.
She can run from you but she can’t run from herself.
If you don’t want to move don’t move these are her issues so why should you give up the room, although personally I’d prefer the single room, but since she’s the one who’s got the problem it should be your decision which option is the better one for you and she takes what’s left. Don’t let yourself be pushed around by some immature little girl who obviously needs to still be at home with mommy and daddy rather than taking her first steps into adulthood.
Talk to your RA. This is suspect
Maybe she wants you out so her bf can move in? I’d take the single room for the peace and quiet
If she is the one that is uncomfortable then tell her she should be the one to move out. You have done absolutely nothing wrong.
NTA, her problem so her move. It was a fucking dream ffs
NTA – just withdraw your name, but in any case I’d speak with your RA or an equivalent person asap. I’d also lock everything up.
Someone saying they need a new room based on a dream doesn’t seem reliable or trustworthy.
In the conversation with the RA I’d also mention your getting uncomfortable with her as well, i don’t think you’ll want to share a room with this person for a school year…
Also, if a person leaves… does a knew person move in? She could just be trying to get a bigger room for herself…
In my freshmen dorm, I lucked out and got along with my roommate, most were neutral, but there were far more cases of nightmare roommates then good ones
NTA
If she wants to move, she can.
This is her dream, her whatever. It’s not on you to move or to placate her insanity.
Let her know she is welcome to move if she wants but you like where you are.
Be civil but don’t engage with her nonsense.
Put some headphones on and study.
NTA take the single room, sounds like a dream. Hope she gets the anti christ as her new roommate.
Nta. But personally, I think I would prefer the single room. Then you don’t have to deal w the drama. But if you don’t want to move- tell her. Don’t wait. Get your ra involved if needed
NTA. If she is doing this for religious reasons, you don’t want to live with her really. Not saying anyone who is religious is bad, I mean the standard she’s setting and excusing her own behavior. If ths dream is a lie, that adds to it.
Maybe if the dream was real, it was an ‘inappropriate’ dream or something to do with your tarot or just whatever her impression may be of you. Considering it came about abruptly, I could believe a dream was enough to trigger her. I have a religious friend and we clash now and then because she gets uncomfortable over what I perceive as normal/not problematic things.
People get weirdly influenced by their dreams sometimes. I can get it if it’s a deeply disturbing nightmare that hits home, but half the time it isn’t.
Either way, it’s her responsibility to move out. If you wanted to and offered, fine. But she has no right to ask you.
NTA. Tell her you’ve consulted the cards and spoken with the spirits and they’ve unanimously declared you need to stay in that room.
NTA. Don’t even entertain the idea and ignore it if they bring it up. Their dreams are their problem, not yours. What happened is your roommate applied for a single room and we’re fine with moving out until they saw the increase in cost for a single. So now they’re asking you to move out so you can take the higher cost room. It’s bullshit. Just tell them no, set a boundary and be done with it.
NTA and I wouldn’t move. She initiated the move and if she is really that uncomfortable, she should follow through and leave.
NTA. The entitlement is insane. If she’s uncomfortable, she leaves. Common sense 101