I (32m) have a female friend (29f) that has a kid.
I am at the point where I want to tell her to not bring her kid around me. This will be difficult because the kid has grown really fond of me.
The child is four years old, but I don’t like how she’s allowed to behave. She is still breastfeeding at that age, and she isn’t properly potty trained. To clarify, she can sometimes use the bathroom on her own, but other times she just soils herself. She doesn’t have any mental challenges. On top of that, she has a cellphone that she’s glued to constantly. All of this annoys me, but since she’s not my child, I don’t comment. I mind my own business.
The bigger problem is that this child cannot take no for an answer. When she’s with her mother, she bullies her by crying hysterically until her mom gives in to whatever she wants. You might wonder how this affects me.
Well, the child often cries hysterically for my laptop or smartwatch. I’m not rich, and I can’t afford for a kid to break my things. Once, her mom left her with me briefly while she went to grab something from the car. During that short time, the child reached for my prescription glasses. When I refused to give them to her, she threw such a hysterical tantrum. The cries were so loud and gut wrenching that people thought I had spanked her.
Will I be the ass hole if tell my friend I do not like being around her kid?
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I (32m) have a female friend (29f) that has a kid.
I am at the point where I want to tell her to not bring her kid around me. This will be difficult because the kid has grown really fond of me.
The child is four years old, but I don’t like how she’s allowed to behave. She is still breastfeeding at that age, and she isn’t properly potty trained. To clarify, she can sometimes use the bathroom on her own, but other times she just soils herself. She doesn’t have any mental challenges. On top of that, she has a cellphone that she’s glued to constantly. All of this annoys me, but since she’s not my child, I don’t comment. I mind my own business.
The bigger problem is that this child cannot take no for an answer. When she’s with her mother, she bullies her by crying hysterically until her mom gives in to whatever she wants. You might wonder how this affects me.
Well, the child often cries hysterically for my laptop or smartwatch. I’m not rich, and I can’t afford for a kid to break my things. Once, her mom left her with me briefly while she went to grab something from the car. During that short time, the child reached for my prescription glasses. When I refused to give them to her, she threw such a hysterical tantrum. The cries were so loud and gut wrenching that people thought I had spanked her.
Will I be the ass hole if tell my friend I do not like being around her kid?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole for telling someone that they kid is unpleasant, she’s a struggling single mother
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NAH it’s not your fault that the kid is that crazy, and the mom seems very overwhelmed with dealing with them
NTA, it’s completely normal to not want to be around kids all the time and want to be able to hang out with your friend like you used to before she became a mother, just have a sit down with her and tell her how you feel. She should understand!
NTA for not wanting to be around this kid, she sounds like a nightmare. But I wouldn’t say “your kid sucks and your parenting sucks” outright (even if it may be true.)
I’d approach it by telling your friend you’d prefer to try and schedule more time without the daughter around. If she pushes the issue, you don’t have to get into details but you can just say that being around her daughter is overstimulating and stresses you out. If that bothers her, she’s probably not a great friend to begin with.