This is pretty awkward and I really just need advice on how exactly to handle this. I can kind of see why either option might be preferable, so I really would appreciate if you guys could let me know what you think the best recourse here is.
So 2 days ago I was looking for porn and I came across a short video from a couple account that I decided to watch. You couldn’t see either of their faces in the video but you could hear their voices and I thought the guy’s voice sounded exactly like my coworker’s. The physique of the guy matched his and the physique of the woman’s matched his wife’s (I’ve only met her twice and don’t exactly remember what her voice sounds like, but the woman’s voice in the video rang a bell too), but at first I just thought it was a coincidence.
Then the guy moved his arm in such a way that I could see that he had a particular tattoo that I know for certain my coworker has. It’s a pretty specific tattoo and paired with the looks and sound of the couple in the video, I’m like 99% sure that it was him and his wife.
I guess I’m really not sure what to do. I kind of lean towards telling him that I saw that this so that he and his wife can decide if they want to chance other people they know seeing their stuff and being able to tell it’s them, but I could also see that just being insanely awkward and not really being helpful. One other thing that might be useful information is that my coworker is pretty unpopular at work, and while that’s partly his fault I could also see some of the people at work who really don’t like him being super shitty if they came across this stuff, so I don’t know if that affects things.
Comments
I would take it to my grave!
Never mention it
Nobody wins if you say something.
YTA. Keep watching porn on your own and leave the guy alone.
The odds of a small group of people who don’t like him seeing it is remote. Obviously not impossible given you found it. But remote.
Leave it alone.
I think we can assume that if you noticed other people have also noticed. You’re probably not the first person to figure this out.
So it’s not exactly like your keeping the lid on the biggest secret ever here.
If you wanted do nothing and just pretend like you haven’t seen it, I’m sure someone else will be The Whistleblower so to speak.
YTA. how do you know he isn’t aware it’s online? Do you think his wife has posted it without his knowledge?
People who create porn to post online want others to see it.. that’s the point! Leave them both alone.
Bump it bro.
YTA. Don’t mention it. They know there are chances but there is no need to embarrass them. That’s why they don’t show their faces to limit the chances of people finding out it’s them. If it bothers you, block the account so you don’t see anything else.. or enjoy the show.. lol
You need to just forget about it. Never tell him.
Also.. was it any good? 🤣😂
Let it go. Why care? If people post porn online etc there is always a risk people they know will see it.
That’s their risk!! Not yours. Why should you care?
More awkward was a man who found his daughter doing porn online😯
What’s the point? What are you trying to achieve other than embarrassing him. You would 100pct be the AH. No doubt.
Hell, you are already 50pct there for considering it.
Yes if they’re two full grown adults and doing it on their own time outside of work related things why bother . I get it would be awkward to be around them but it would be even more awkward for you to mention anything about it
Ask to join
it will be insanely awkward at work if you mention this to him or anybody. I suggest you do your best to memory-hole this. i can’t imagine I would ever tell if I were you.
Demand residuals.
If you really feel you have a moral obligation to inform him of the risk that he could be identified (something they have hopefully already considered and decided it was worth it to them), maybe there is an in between.
Is there some way you could message him anonymously and let him know that you mean no harm but you were able to identify him and wanted to let him know for his benefit?
Could also leave it up to him if he wants to know who you are you are willing to tell him but reassure him that either way, your intention in telling him is not to make him feel uncomfortable or to threaten him.
If you want him to know. do it anonymously. Leave him a note saying that those vids can be found and you wanted to let him know for your reasons.
No way would I directly say anything.
Just let it go and don’t bring it up.
Probably best to leave it, they will know the risk of sharing that stuff and having people see it, just make sure not to go on that account again and try your best to remain normal around him,
As the saying goes, not my monkey, not my circus!
Send him an anonymous note. Typed out so it’s more mysterious.
Take it to the grave. Just like when I had a teams call open early and saw my co-worker get dressed. Just pretend I never saw what I saw.
EDIT: For some reason this makes me the creep in some people’s view. I just went and got a coffee and didn’t want to embarras my coworker who decided to put his pants on right infront of his computer during a teams meeting. Oh well.
Telling use of “came across” ….
There’s no way this is real, lmao. There are millions upon millions of NSFW videos on the internet. You randomly found your coworker? Yeah, lol, ok 🙄
So sick of these fake stories from people karma farming. They need to be perma banned from reddit so they can’t access the site ever again. Does nothing but harm.
Keep it to yourself and keep jerking off to your workmate.
Mind your own business. They’re adults and wanted to post it online.
And what do you hope to gain from telling him? It’s on the internet there’s a high possibility that people they know, know.
Yeah.. keep it to yourself bud.
The real question is… did you get to the end or finish before the end?
Tell him for what? To create an awkward work environment? He knows he has a tattoo. Not concealing it is very different than hiding one’s face. He vastly reduced the odds of being recognizes but he didn’t erase the possibility all together. Surely he realizes the possibility someone could recognize him and chose to post it anyway. Assume he’s fine with it and keep it to yourself.
Unless you wanna join the party! Keep your mouth shut. Nothing good can come from this. He’s already a shitty guy, he might choose to shoot the messenger.
Leave it alone. Stay out of it. Don’t get involved. They made the choice to post adult content so if it goes south it’s not your fault. You aren’t responsible for them or their choices.
I would need to see the content in said account for “research.”
“Hey bro, I got this new camera and have been dying to try it out. Let me know if you ever need a videographer!”
NEVER tell them or anyone. WTF is wrong with you? LOL
Mind your business.
From the BDSM Lifestyle point of view, one thing you never do is talk about things like that unless you and them are at an event where such would not be a bad thing. A Munch, a Play Party, etc.
Outside of that, it’s never brought up.
That aside and looking at this particular set of circumstances, there are many things to consider.
The TL:DR of all of this “No, you wouldn’t be the asshole, but it’s not worth it. Don’t bother, keep it quiet, take it to your grave…it’ll be better for all involved to avoid all the awkwardness. “
First of all, you letting them know that you found on them on a porn site is going to be an awkward conversation in of itself. You’re publicly admitting that you look at porn and were likely doing so to have a wank or to help you and a partner get “in the mood”.
Which rolls into them now thinking that you were spanking it to their porn which depending on how they react, (you did say this guy is unpleasant to deal with), could backfire on you. If the guy were to get pissy, a trip to HR could make your career difficult to pursue. Imaging being fired and then trying to find a way to explain to a prospective employer why you were fired.
Not fun.
Secondly, there’s the fact that this video was on a website. You have to consider if this video had professional like production values which means that this was produced to be put on the site. And even if it were amateur, there are sites where people can upload their videos. If that’s what they want to do, they have that right and might not give a toss who sees the videos.
Now this might be something that they saved to a smartphone cloud account and it got hacked they didn’t want it getting out. But it’s still going to be awkward as hell to discuss it. This leads back to my first point and if it was leaked and you saw it…now he’s going to be that much angrier.
Let it go, never mention it again and put it out of your mind.
Do you want to get invovled? Then yes, talk to them. Otherwise just don’t. It’s not a behavior that is direcly detrimental to you, there is no reason for you to let them know that you know.
Are you the kind of person who gossips, overshares or can’t stand to know a secret and tell nobody? Then you would be asking a different question, but to do so you would have to tell internet strangers your flaws and nobody wants to do that.
Quick!! Tell me their acc name. I’m sure ill give u a solution.
Either beat off to to co worker or mind your business.
Why would you want to have that conversation with him?
But, they did take that risk posting stuff like that online.
Screenshot and put in an envelope on his desk anonymously.
Watch his whole persona change in a millisecond 🤣
Not your circus, let them live their life.
He made it public, he didn’t hide it.
Let him know anonymously.
I’d advise you to look at it this way- what do you or they gain if this gets brought up? They made the conscious decision (presumably) to upload this content to the internet, meaning they know there is a chance anybody in the world could see it, including people they know. Do you have some kind of underlying burning urge to acknowledge it to your coworkers face because it feels like you’ve been let in on a secret you shouldn’t have and talking about it will unburden you?
Talking about porn with coworkers is weird as it is. You would be TA if you mention it
Link? Lol
Share a link and let’s decide!
I don’t know why you would even consider mentioning it. Literally nothing good will come from that, it’s simply not even an argument.
Yes.
Yeah, STFU on this one. It’s their business, not yours.
There’s no benefit to telling him. A guy at my workplace was on a reality T.V program, nothing sexual, but I informed my colleagues who asked him about it and the guy exploded at him. I imagine your news would get an even bigger reaction.
Don’t do it man
Send me the link
Don’t say anything about this to anyone else at work ever even if you change jobs. Take it to your grave. It’s not worth getting involved in this shitshow because of some asshole from work who is roundly disliked. He took the risk when they uploaded that video. Stay out of it.
There’s no need to mention it since he’s in the videos, if he wasn’t then yeah but since it’s a thing between them it’s none of Ur business.
Unless you are looking for a way to broach the subject of a threesome then I would just keep it to yourself. Not your business.
Stop being a weirdo . Don’t say anything
Do nothing. If he was your friend, you might want to bring it up. But since he’s just your coworker, plus the faces have been obscured, you are under no obligation to mention you saw his video.
Plus, he might have uploaded it for money. So, I wouldn’t say anything. It’s nothing I’d worry about.
Ywbta. Keep your mouth shut. If you really want to let him know that it’s public so he could hide it, go get a burner or anonymous text site and text him to let him know. Don’t mention you’re a coworker.
You gain absolutely nothing from saying something. I’m sure he’s aware that there is a possibility of people figuring out it’s him
No. Do not tell them. No good can come of this. The most likely outcome is you will just look like a creep, they might even make a complaint about you raising the issue at work, and they might assume you’re treating them differently because of it. If someone else does find it, they’ll assume it was you spreading it. He had to know it was a risk doing it – if someone else finds it, that’s their problem, not yours.
This sounds like something they filmed and released themselves. They already know it’s out there. They know they could be identified and quite possibly get off on it.
I’d keep quiet about it.
Did they make a good porn?
Maybe the want a threesome. lol
Share the video
The real question is did you finish?
The only reason to tell them is if you think someone other than them uploaded the video. What reason do you have to believe this is the case?
Yes you would.
Say nothing.
Move on with your life. (Hopefully you haven’t subscribed lol) When people choose to create content online it is reasonable to expect folks to stumble on to it eventually. Bringing it up to anyone is pointless unless you just want to stir up drama.
Unless you’re angling to join keep that shit to yourself
Stalker vibes.
You went searching and are not adult enough to admit so — you are a creeper.
keep ur mouth closed and keep watching his vids!
Shhh
You would 10000% be an asshole for bringing it up. So if that’s your goal, then it’s a sure shot 🤷♀️
It’s nunya business to say something. If they really cared about being discovered, then it wouldn’t be on the internet.
Leave it alone. If you do say something, YTA
Sounds like an HR nightmare. Keep it to yourself
So what’s the point of letting coworker know you found his and his wife’s side hustle? Do you want to be a guest performer in a future video? Subscribe already and you can DM the two of them that way. Then they can decide if they want to talk IRL. And you can throw out the suggestions/requests for future performances.
Depending on how conservative your area is, it might blow back on you if you try to out coworker. “OP, why are you watching porn?” Or “OP I used to like you until I heard you had filthy habits.”
Soft YTA if you subscribe to whatever platform coworker is posting on, but HUGE YTA if you don’t and talk to him at work about it.
Don’t say a thing, then block his account so you don’t come across it again. Unless you’re into it, then, have at it!