For some context, my mom used to be a tattoo artist 15+ years ago and stopped to pursue another career. Recently, she’s bought fake skin and an Amazon tattoo machine to practice again as a hobby. She doesn’t want to tattoo anymore, just use it for fun. My sister (has a lot of tattoos, and is over 21) told my mom that she wants to learn how to tattoo from home using the fake skin and tattoo machine, and wants to eventually give herself a small tattoo. My mom isn’t against this idea, which I think is weird. I think this a terrible idea all together, I don’t think tattooing actual skin is a hobby, it’s a job for professionals. Also, my sister doesn’t know anything about blood borne pathogen training, and doesn’t know how deep or light to use the tattoo machine. I know some people on tattoo beginners and tattoo scratchers are amazing, but I don’t trust my sister yet to make mistakes. Her lines are a bit shaky and unsaturated. Yesterday, she was practicing on the fake skin, and then decided to give herself some small dots without even changing the needle, which I believe is contamination. She was showing me tattoo designs yesterday and expressed interest in tattooing me, and got upset when I told her I don’t trust her not to scar me. It’s her body and choice to learn how to tattoo herself, but I think it’s a terrible idea. I don’t want to cave and have a terrible tattoo, or for her to tattoo herself and end up hating it (she’s picky about how other artists do her tattoos). If I told her to stop trying to learn how to tattoo at home, WIBTA?
Edit- Okay, I agree with everyone. Reading this post back, I might be a bit judgy, and I’m sorry for that. I won’t tell her what to do, it’s not my decision. I’m just more scared about tattoo infections, and maybe I’m projecting that. Thank you everyone! I do think it’s cool to learn it as a skill, but maybe I’m too judgy about what it takes to be a tattoo artist. I do think it would be cool for my sister to give me a tattoo, but I don’t trust her yet. Thank you everyone!
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For some context, my mom used to be a tattoo artist 15+ years ago and stopped to pursue another career. Recently, she’s bought fake skin and an Amazon tattoo machine to practice again as a hobby. She doesn’t want to tattoo anymore, just use it for fun. My sister (has a lot of tattoos, and is over 21) told my mom that she wants to learn how to tattoo from home using the fake skin and tattoo machine, and wants to eventually give herself a small tattoo. My mom isn’t against this idea, which I think is weird. I think this a terrible idea all together, I don’t think tattooing actual skin is a hobby, it’s a job for professionals. Also, my sister doesn’t know anything about blood borne pathogen training, and doesn’t know how deep or light to use the tattoo machine. I know some people on tattoo beginners and tattoo scratchers are amazing, but I don’t trust my sister yet to make mistakes. Her lines are a bit shaky and unsaturated. Yesterday, she was practicing on the fake skin, and then decided to give herself some small dots without even changing the needle, which I believe is contamination. She was showing me tattoo designs yesterday and expressed interest in tattooing me, and got upset when I told her I don’t trust her not to scar me. It’s her body and choice to learn how to tattoo herself, but I think it’s a terrible idea. I don’t want to cave and have a terrible tattoo, or for her to tattoo herself and end up hating it (she’s picky about how other artists do her tattoos). If I told her to stop trying to learn how to tattoo at home, WIBTA?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NAH
It is your sister’s right to make stupid decisions, and live with their consequences.
It is your right and your duty as a sibling to warn her when you think she is hurting herself.
Soft YTA. The point of her trying to learn, and from your mom who you say is an experienced tattoo artist, is so that she can… learn how to do it. Why don’t you want her to learn?
The difference between a job and a hobby is you get paid for one of them. It’s also perfectly feasible to turn a hobby into a job. After all it’s all just practice and experience.
Good for your sister I say.
Your sister may be an idiot – the contamination thing is just wow… – but she’s an adult and it’s her business. YTA for interfering and trying to control her. Just don’t even think about letting her work on you….
You are
YTA, sure don’t let her tattoo you, but why tell her what she can and can’t do with her own life.. she also has someone experienced in tattooing at home to guide her, it’s not like she’s just watching a bunch of YouTube videos.
And like you said your body your choice, her body her choice. I’d just stay out of it and focus on yourself.
If contamination is your only issue, there are plenty of blood-borne pathogen courses online that don’t take very much time at all. You could suggest this to her, but if it’s because you just don’t think it’s a hobby then I think YTA. Also, if your mom is a tattoo artist, it seems to reason that she doesn’t even need to take these courses (unless she’s tattooing other people) just suggest that she talk to your mom.
Soft yta.
It’s her body and she can do what she likes with it.
If you want to help, perhaps find her some info or courses on safety practices.
Communicate your boundary about not wanting her to tattoo you, but respect her choices.
NTA because she is considering tattooing other people without really knowing what she’s doing. If she was only doing it to herself, then it’s her choice (although especially the part about not switching needles is definitely not good).
YTA- she’s an adult. In fact, it’s extremely creepy that you want to police your sister’s body. It’s also weird that you think reddit should have authority over your mother. It doesn’t matter what you think. If you’re so worried print out a packet on tattoo safety, prep and clean up.
YWBTA
Your sister is learning from a reputable source (your mother) and honestly if she screws herself by contaminating her tattoo, it’ll be her own fault.
Definitely don’t let her touch you with the needle though…
YTA and I have like 50+ tattoos and you sound like a judgey jerk to me. You don’t have to get a tattoo from your sister or recommend her to your friends but if you actively stop her from what is clearly learning and practice, because you don’t understand the concept of learning and practice, and clearly have a weird hang up about your sister and tattoos – which is what this post sounds like – YTA
I don’t see the issue here?
Sister is wanting to learn a new hobby…at least she’s practicing on fake skin and herself…not out there leaving others with permanent “mistakes”.
Of course her lines will be shaky and she will be unsure of the needle depth and stuff because she’s new to it all…but it seems like the mom can help her with those things?
the professionals had to start somewhere…
I understand OPs concern about potential contamination, but crapping on sisters new hobby is an AH move.
I think you’re absolutely right to say “no thank you. Keep off my body”
I would maybe gently express your concerns about your sister’s lack of safety to your mom, and ask her, for your sister’s safety to talk with her about safe practices.
If she’s learning from your mom, and practicing on fake skin, I don’t necessarily see an issue with her learning, since that’s essentially what an apprentice does. However, skipping important safety steps is definitely a risk.
YTA if you are so concerned about her lack of knowledge of bloodborne pathogens then see if she will watch some videos on the subject and learn about them. Similarly raise your concerns about that matter to your mother and see if she will offer her advice as a former tattoo artist. Your sister is going to make mistakes, she isn’t perfect, tattoo artists grow with experience and your mother being a former tattoo artist can always guide her and give her pointers. You don’t get a say in what her hobby gets to be.
Now onto the other bs you stated. She was tattooing fake skin, then her own skin. I don’t know if that would be contamination but guess what I am not a tattoo artist nor training to be one. She’s going to fuck around and find out like anyone else experimenting with something new without research. Everything else your saying she’s doing wrong is because she is new, of course she won’t know how deep or light to tattoo, or have perfect lines. That takes practice.
Support your sister, but do so in a way that is productive. Telling her to stop just makes you an asshole because you’re gatekeeping her interests. Hobby or not she is showing a passion for something and appears to be trying to learn. So support her, or gtfo the way.
YTA, if she can’t safely learn from an experienced tattoo artist using fake skin how do you expect her to learn?
You should encourage the tattooing on fake skin. You should suggest to your sister or mom that she learn about the medical safety side of things. She should learn and practice a lot before giving herself a tattoo. I agree that she’ll be disappointed if she does a bad one on herself. I think it’s fine for a sibling to provide advice or an opinion. If she doesn’t want to take it, you should stop giving it. Definitely don’t get a tattoo from anyone who isn’t good at it
This could be a hobby. My sister does her own gel nails even though there are certified individuals at the salons and it’s dangerous to inhale the dust or cure the gel on your skin. She takes precautions. If she didn’t, I’d tell her she should. She shows me her nails after they’re done. She sees the flaws. I tell her what she’s improved on. Doing her nails takes double the time of a nail tech. I don’t do gel nails and am not going to start with her
YTA. Of couse you shouldn’t agree to get any tattoo or anything else you don’t want on your body. But its not your place to judge your sister. Also, your mom is there and she has a professional background in the field. You should leave it to them and mind your own business.
ESH
Your mom – she should know as a former tattoo artist that type of work takes a significant amount of time learning, apprenticeship, and money to be a professional tattoo artist. Ethically, she should not be the one teaching your sister how to tattoo people if she can not provide constructive criticism.
Your sister – She needs to be taking the art of tattooing seriously, and it doesn’t sound like she is. Whether she’s doing this as a hobby or a profession, she also needs to understand that not everyone she knows is going to want tattoos from her if she’s not properly trained for it.
You (OP) – It’s fine if you don’t want a tattoo from your sister (it’s your body, it’s your choice, that’s your right). But if she is serious about learning how to tattoo skin (again, as a hobby or profession), it is not your place to discourage her to do so.
Yta. You are aware that every tattoo artist begins as an amateur, right? There is also some merit to practicing on yourself to get a better sense of how it feels and how the ink adheres, etc. Also, she has your mom to consult.
If you don’t want her to tattoo you, that’s fine, but stay in your lane.
Is this a YTA or have you just explained the situation terribly? If you’d just said “I want to tell my sister she should be sterilizing tattoo needles” I think the answers in the comments would be way different. Everything else in the post you’ve described is exactly how a tattoo artist begins their career
>my sister doesn’t know anything about blood borne pathogen training, and doesn’t know how deep or light to use the tattoo machine.
Right, but your sister says she wants to learn, and your mom used to be a tattoo artist. Part of the learning process will need to include the things you say she doesn’t know; that’s the whole point of learning.
I think this is a perfectly valid starting point; she can practice sketching tattoo designs, learn techniques from your mom on fake skin, and if she gets decently good, maybe consider an apprenticeship to learn in-shop with a professional. Everyone has to start somewhere, right? It doesn’t mean she’s going to buy equipment and immediately start giving tats out of the garage or something. She just needs proper guidance on where to start and all the important health guidelines. And yes, YWBTA if you discourage her from trying to learn. She’s an adult, let her try a new hobby.
YTA
Sounds like your sister has taken an interest in something your mom is interested in. You can say no to her tattooing you, not recommend her to people you know. But, if she learns some stuff from your mom, she very well could end up being good and potentially get an apprenticeship at a real place. I know the guy who did mine had someone like that working with him.
As you said her body her choice , I am on the branch that mom will teach her properly if doing others. Just stand clear.
YTA. This is absolutly not your responsible. You don’t have to take tattoos from her but she can do what she wants to her own body. Your mom knows the tricks and can show her what is important. But yeah the safety needs of a tattoo studio aren’t needed at home (she will not tattoo a HIV positiv client and use the same needle for her). Or how do you think natur tribes do their tattoos?
YTA She wants to learn. She may not know all of the things you mention but that’s what learning is for. I know so many people who taught themselves to tattoo at home on the exact way you are describing. Two members of my own family are professional artists who started learning to tattoo as teenagers and have given themselves great tattoos. Why do you want to hold her down like this?
YTA. You said you’re afraid she doesn’t know what she’s doing….right after you just got done saying she wants to get a machine and fake skin to start practicing and learning. Nobody else, not even the sister you’re concerned about, is talking about anything else other than starting to learn how to tattoo. Like, nowhere in this conversation was anyone talking about tattooing another human being, so what is the actual problem here?
> she’s picky about how other artists do her tattoos
No shit. She should be. Everyone who gets tattoos should be. It’s permanent.
It’s fine to tell her that you’re only getting tattoos from professionals you’ve personally vetted. It’s not okay to tell her that she shouldn’t be learning to tattoo because you’ve decided it’s a bad idea. The fact that she has someone who completed an apprenticeship and did it as a job to help her gives her a serious head start over the way many artists start.
And if she gives herself a shitty tattoo, so what? It’s her skin. She’s allowed to do what she wants with it.
My ex was a tattoo artist and she strongly believed stuff like this is dodgy as and disrespectful to the trade. Your mom should just tattoo her safely and cleanly or she should just go to a shop.
NTA. You can say you don’t think it’s wise, I just sincerely doubt she’d take you seriously.
Info: What’s the interpersonal conflict?
If you don’t want her to tattoo you, then don’t.
If she wants to tattoo herself, then she will.
YWBTA if you try to control what she does with the fake skin or her body. You can say no to a tattoo on your body and mention that you hope she’s careful with sterilization but she’s free to tattoo the fake skin or herself.
How else is she going to learn? If your mom is willing to teach her enough to be at apprentice level, it should be fine.
It also sounds like you’re assuming an awful lot about what your mom has taught her and not taught her.
ESH, mostly you though.
YTA
I know many people who started on themself, some look good some look bad but what matters most is that it is abolute not your business.
NTA
You should be talking to her about sterilization and blood borne pathogens to educate her instead of just telling her not to do it which always makes people stop doing what they want to do.
NTA her body her choice. I see your concern because she is already starting to practice on herself without the best safety protocols, and she is mummering about practicing on you. Does your sister have any artistic skills?
My sonIL learned how to tattoo this way. He then shadowed an actual professional who gave him pointers on licensing, meeting health department standards, etc.
He now has a successful part-time side gig that brings in about as much as his full-time job.
So yes, YWBTA, because you don’t know as much as you think you do. Your opinion means exactly squat. Nadda. Zilch. Nothing.
If she wants to learn, let her. Why are you so invested in what she does? Are you afraid she just might be good at this?
So go get a hobby of your own and leave her alone!
YTA. You don’t think your mom will teach her any of that? How do you think professionals start out? Everyone has to start somewhere, and if she eventually does want to do it professionally, she’s going to need a portfolio. You even said she’s going to start learning on fake skin. How is that a “bad idea”?
Tattooing isn’t just a job, it’s an art that requires practice and skill, and you don’t simply acquire that overnight. Starting on fake skin and then tattooing herself is an excellent way to learn how to get a feel for the correct needle angle and depth. I have 2 tattoos that I did myself and I’m not a professional but that’s how I learned. Worst case scenario, she can get a touch-up or cover up down the line if she’s not satisfied with her work on herself.
You are allowed to set a boundary for yourself to not get a tattoo, but you have no right to discourage her from pursuing her passions or interests.