WIBTA if I took away my roommates access to the tv if he continues to not do the dishes and leave a mess everywhere?

r/

I’m not necessarily a neat freak but I hate coming home to disarray and seeing food and trash on the tables that I use. None of the stuff on the tables or in the sink is mine and my apartment was generally clean before this guy moved in a month ago. Now he leaves his stuff all over the common area and uses my tv that’s in the common area without cleaning up any of his messes after he’s done.

I warned him about two weeks ago telling him he needs to start clean up and wash his dishes if he wants to continue to use the tv. He started cleaning up a bit more but it is not much and there are dishes in the sink that are over a week old again. I have had to constantly tell him to clean up after himself and sometimes it takes him days to do it. Meanwhile, I make sure to always wash my dishes after I’m done and I do not leave trash in the common areas because it’s a shared space.

There is no space for me to put my own dishes since we use separate dishes and cookware so I also can’t meal prep without overflowing the sink.

He keeps using my tv while the whole place around him is a mess and it really pisses me off because I asked him to do the dishes yesterday and he said he forgot but also said he’d do them today. It’s 6 pm and they still aren’t done. WIBTA if I started enforcing a rule that he’s not allowed access to my tv until he has cleaned up his messes? I feel like I may be being unfair, but that may just be my fear of confrontation talking.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    I’m not necessarily a neat freak but I hate coming home to disarray and seeing food and trash on the tables that I use. None of the stuff on the tables or in the sink is mine and my apartment was generally clean before this guy moved in a month ago. Now he leaves his stuff all over the common area and uses my tv that’s in the common area without cleaning up any of his messes after he’s done.

    I warned him about two weeks ago telling him he needs to start clean up and wash his dishes if he wants to continue to use the tv. He started cleaning up a bit more but it is not much and there are dishes in the sink that are over a week old again. I have had to constantly tell him to clean up after himself and sometimes it takes him days to do it. Meanwhile, I make sure to always wash my dishes after I’m done and I do not leave trash in the common areas because it’s a shared space.

    There is no space for me to put my own dishes since we use separate dishes and cookware so I also can’t meal prep without overflowing the sink.

    He keeps using my tv while the whole place around him is a mess and it really pisses me off because I asked him to do the dishes yesterday and he said he forgot but also said he’d do them today. It’s 6 pm and they still aren’t done. WIBTA if I started enforcing a rule that he’s not allowed access to my tv until he has cleaned up his messes? I feel like I may be being unfair, but that may just be my fear of confrontation talking.

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    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > 1.) I want to take away my roommates access to my tv that I keep in the living room and make him clean up if he wants to use it

    2.) this might make me the asshole because it is a shared space and keeping the tv there means we have to share it

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  3. Mundane-Run6179 Avatar

    YWNBTA. It’s YOUR TV you don’t have to let him use it AT ALL. He’s lucky you let him use it. I’d personally move it from where it is into your bedroom and not put it back until he starts cleaning up after himself regularly and sticks with it

  4. CombImaginary9417 Avatar

    NAH. It’s your TV, you can do whatever you want with it.

  5. EuphoricReplacement1 Avatar

    Change the Internet password instead, it’s easier.

  6. quincebush Avatar

    NTA but what’s your plan when he gets his own TV? The guys a slob. It sounds like university housing and some people don’t care. I lived in a flat with 15 other people and only 4 or 5 of us ever cleaned the kitchen. We’re all adults now and none of them live like that anymore but at the time, they were slobs.

  7. lastunicorn76 Avatar

    Put the tv in your bedroom

  8. Sexy_Madness Avatar

    NTA but save yourself the headache and just tell him it’s not working out. You can’t live with someone so carelessly messy and its not your job to parent them. Pack you stuff bud, go be a mess somewhere else. Be sure to specify in the new add that your future room mates MUST be clean and neat, that is why you tossed the last one.

  9. Consistent-Shoe-9602 Avatar

    YWNBTA, if you warn of potential consequences for bad behavior, it’s the other person’s choice to get those consequences.

    You said that if he doesn’t clean up, you’ll take away his TV rights and he agreed, but didn’t keep his end of the bargain, so he understands it is fair for him to suffer the consequences of his actions.

  10. Extension-Ad8549 Avatar

    You sound like you be his parents. If you don’t do your chore no tv tonight..

    Just move his dirty dishes to the side.. once he reliever has no clean dishes he has to wash them etc

  11. SuchTutor6509 Avatar

    I would lock the tv in my room. And reiterate to him that he needs to do his chores. You aren’t his parent so you shouldn’t have to get after him to clean. He isn’t the only one paying to live there so he cleans or we find other arrangements.

  12. No-Strawberry-5804 Avatar

    NTA but you also probably need to look for a new place to live because I don’t see this ending well

  13. Grymflyk Avatar

    NTA. Don’t worry about the TV, get a new roommate. This one is clearly faulty.

  14. Professional-Scar628 Avatar

    NTA you aren’t his parents, it’s not your job to remind him to clean up after himself. Take the TV away, it’s your TV, you can do whatever the hell you want with it, including using it as a way to get your roommate to clean up.

  15. meno-pause Avatar

    Roommates often suck. Sorry you’re having to deal with this. NTA.

  16. Eternalthursday1976 Avatar

    I was going to say yes but since it’s actually yours, then nta. Move your tv and lock your room.

  17. ZookeepergameOk1833 Avatar

    Enforcing a rule? You are not his parent. You can take the remote, take the tv. But maybe you sit down and tell him you can’t live like this and will have to make other arrangements if he can’t keep things VERY clean.

  18. Ohaibaipolar Avatar

    NTA. Hide the remote, change the wifi password. Inconvenience him as much as possible. Hopefully he’ll just leave. Also? Start putting his dishes in his bed, all over his floor, so that he (hopefully) gets the message.

  19. Ontas Avatar

    NTA since the tv is yours, but I don’t think it’s a good idea, why don’t you bring it to the landlord?

  20. use_your_smarts Avatar

    The only possible way you could enforce that is by moving the tv to your bedroom.

    Sounds easier just to dump his dirty dishes on his bed.

  21. Character_Tap_4884 Avatar

    Thems the consequences. Make him do his share or move out.